Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions?
We can help you untangle your life
... and reclaim your freedom.
From Grief & Loss to Hope & Renewal
Grief is a reaction to loss that
can damage your sense of life.
Sooner or later you will lose important things and important
people. A serious illness, an unfortunate accident, a poor investment,
a car accident - stuff happens. Bad things can happen to good people and
bad things can happen to you. Insurance doesn't cover everything. You will
probably always remember the people you love ... you won't forget them
easily.
A significant loss can trigger overwhelming unpleasant
emotions, disrupt your life and cause long term problems. You may
experience loss as you age - as you lose some of your mental and physical
resources and maybe some body parts. Before your body dies, you may suffer
emotionally. Maybe you will seek oblivion in alcohol or with drugs. Maybe
you will consider suicide. We hope that you will recover, while many don't
... or won't.
Heavy emotions often follow the loss of a beloved
person, the loss of a precious pet, a
miscarriage or an
abortion. If an important person dies or
leaves you, your grief may be intense. But despite any loss, you can
regain your sense of life. We can help you, at your own speed,
reclaim your life after a loss.
Silent Conspiracy
Can you talk about your loss with your family and
friends? Or do you avoid talking about losses? Or do you have little
contact with people? Do you avoid talking about your feelings? Or do
you try to medicate emotions away? Do you try to endlessly distract
yourself? Does hope seem like a distant mirage?
Each loss brings a potential for growth, insights,
understanding and hope. Can you see that far ahead when you're
experiencing grief? Can you focus on renewal? We can help any
emotional outbursts.
Loved Ones who Die: Grieving Loss & Bereavement
Although you may grieve the loss of a home or a car, your
greatest grief may concern the loss of important people with whom you shared
life experiences. Shared life experience is often more important
than whether or not you liked a person. And there are
other forms of loss ...
- Loss of a family member - a parent or
sibling ... or a mentor
- Loss of a friend - someone you could share
life experiences with
- Loss of a colleague or team member - someone
you worked with
- Loss of a partner - someone with whom you shared life
happiness
- Loss of a child - someone you created or adopted ... or a
pet animal
- Loss of a community - a neighborhood or a workplace
that you left ... or that left you
There is no way to truly replace missing parents. There are no
easy solutions for the intense feelings of children who feel abandoned or
deserted by the people they most loved. Yet life can still be good. Counseling
may be helpful for such children, but not every child needs it. Children need
gentle honesty and the knowledge that they will be loved and cared for.
Coaching, Grief & Recovery
After the acute stage of grief, listening ears, caring
hearts and support may disappear. You may feel alone with your loss. We
offer you a safe space in which you can redesign or rebuild your life.
Coping with a death in the family is one of the
most difficult challenges that you and your children will undertake.
We can help you take care of yourself while simultaneously providing
you with emotional support to care for any children following a death
in the family.
We coach people ...
Does the end of a partnership feel more like a death in the
family? See Relationship Breakdown.
Some people suffer a prolonged terminal illness, progressive
memory loss, or are kept alive by medical technology. Their friends and family
members may begin grieving in anticipation of the inevitable loss.
Your Next Steps?
Your next steps depend on your desires and goals, and may
depend on what you have lost. Do you want another partner, another child,
another workplace? How can we help you? Do you want to:
- Explore and select the next steps of your life path?
- Find and focus on a meaningful life project?
- Find a hopeful, future-oriented perspective?
- Learn how to manage your emotions?
- Or maybe you have a better idea?
Family and friends often ask us how they can make things
better for bereaved people, They feel helpless and powerless watching they
love cry or become depressed. Although we have no magical formulas for deleting
grief, we recommend that grief can be used as a learning opportunity - grief can
motivate people to redefine their beliefs, values and sense of life.
Anticipate the phases of grief. While time can be a
great healer, and while friends and family often provide support, it is often
difficult for grieving people to express their thoughts and feelings while they
are still adjusting to their loss. It is sad that many dying and
grieving people, and those close to them:
- Suffer symptoms of shock and/or denial
- Experience emotional and/or physical pain
- Age regress - they act like resourceless children
Yet, sharing thoughts and feelings, whether through writing an
obit, or simply talking about
them, provides ways to gain insights, a sense of completion and to begin
seeking new opportunities for happiness. We can help you through this process
- step by step.
Solutions for Grief, Loss and Bereavement
With all this in mind, here are some useful
tips for helping people to deal with grief and loss:
- Be empathic and share your emotions calmly
- Help people describe their own underlying emotions
- Recognize complaints, criticism, justifications and
blame
- Identify underlying values and find benefits within
problems
- Interpret what is communicated - identify what is
missing or inferred
- Dissolve transferences - reactions to people who
remind you of other people
- Separate the content of messages from how the messages are
communicated
We often help survivors express their emotions and
explore their most deeply felt sources of loss. We coach, guide and encourage
survivors to stay connected with their world.
Loving relationships are the path
and goal of love; and lasting love requires unusual clarity.
Love is bigger than life and death. We help people deal with grief
and loss to
find bridges across forever - bridges to integrity.
Online Coaching for Grief and
Bereavement
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © 2001-2012
by Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved.
