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Dreaming Together allows our coaching
to be deep and innovative.
With it we can adapt ourselves to our clients, rather than insisting that they
adapt to us.
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Writing about Dreaming Together is a paradox.
Perhaps we should leave this page blank, and let you explore your own
reflection.
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You probably know some people with emotional or
relationship problems. Perhaps
they centered their lives around family secrets or childhood disappointments. How can
you help people get off
their toxic roundabouts?
To accomplish great things we must first dream, then visualize, then plan...
believe... act!
Alfred A. Montapert
A useful first step is our Dreamwork, which can
help you stop doing and stop thinking and experience being part of
a complex system which includes your memories, relationships, possibilities and
consequences. I call this dreaming together.
Dreaming Together: Simplicity Made Easy
In Hawaiian, ho'omoe (literally making
dreams) also means travelling together.
Our Dreamwork was stimulated by Hawaiian moe uhane, which
I studied in Hawaii many years ago, and then integrated it into Soulwork
systemic coaching. It became a key part of our coaching format.
Ho`omoe
wai kahi ke kao`o.
(Let us travel together like water flowing in one direction).
When dreaming together, we not only respect ourselves
and other people, we also respect the system or environment within which we
all co-exist. We respectfully accompany people into their dreams -
into their subjective or emotional realities - while remaining awake, conscious
and alert. We walk with them on these
strange, wonderful and sometimes scary journeys.
Dreaming together is not an escape from everyday routines - it is more like
experiencing the cutting-edge of our ongoing reality before we chop it into words.
It interrupts our habitual personalities and mind chatter so that we experience
what's really going on? We can then focus on what is happening now?
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You seemed to hear what I could not say ... you coached me
to coach myself ...
Some of my negative beliefs changed into exciting options
...
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Dreaming together provides a highway to the
experience of integrity (the
Soul of Soulwork) that is central to our coaching, training and mentorship.
Our coaching toolkit, while very effective, is rather secondary. While
dreaming together, we can create techniques, adapt them and discard
them as we accompany each person on his or her definitive journey.
We bend our methods to fit people - we do
not bend people to fit our methods!
Dreaming Together is not Hypnosis, Programming or Persuasion!
Dreaming together enables us to accept and apply other
perspectives than just our own, to better help people explore emotions
and relationships. Without it, people may feel stressed or
pressured if we ask them to
discuss their hidden emotions and deep relationship issues.
Dreaming together is much more than simple rapport or trust.
This shared dreamtime allows us to access a shared sense of
being that includes our memories, each other and our potentials.
Dreaming together provides a space within which we can all transform.
(See also Chaos Coaching)
During these shared dreams, many people laugh and cry (often
together) as they describe being intensely present and sensitive to their
feelings, environment and relationships, and to an awareness of,
"How am I choosing to live my life
this moment?" And this eternal moment can last forever.
Can you hear what people cannot say?
Words often disturb true listening.
Words attempt to fill the intimate void offered by silence.
A major block to dreaming together is self-talk or internal dialog
- your imagined commentary about the meanings or implications of your
thoughts and experiences. Examples are worrying, self-criticism or repeating a
hallucinated song in your mind; all inner chatter that you may be unable to stop.
If you pay attention to your internal dialog, you may find that it
is rather repetitive and boring. But who are you when you stop talking to
yourself? Who are you without your memories, your education, your expectations,
your beliefs and your thoughts?
Who would you be right now - without your illusions of past and future?
What happens to your life when you stop describing it?
This can be wonderful - or scary. Experiencing who you are - rather than telling
yourself who you might be - can take you into a strange world where everything changes
while everything stays the same. For many people it is an ecstatic state of
freedom, and for some few it can
be the essence of terror.
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The Vijnana Bhairava Tantra (a text of Kashmir Shivaism) teaches that every
person has an infinite dimension. One way to access it is to imagine that your
body is totally empty, and that your skin is a thin shell. Imagine that your
breath moves in an empty space, like a wind that can blow away your thoughts,
memories and expectations. |
When you finally stop the chatter - you may
forget what you were doing and why. It's easy to get lost in
the void. We recommend that you ask an experienced coach to accompany you, to ensure
your safety and help your orientation to resonance,
reception and actualization.
You can use dreamtime to take mini-vacations from your
personality.
Resonance & Sharing
Create yourself out of nothing!
Make up your mind!
Does it seem that you attract people with
your own problems? Yet people's problems are rarely so different ...
and neither are their solutions. When someone describes their life challenges, you may
automatically recall some events in your own life that seems to match their
situations, and then you may choose to withhold or share your sense of resonance.
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You showed me a space in which I could change.
I didn't have to learn your theories, follow your directions or adapt to your
methods. I just changed. |
By sharing, we choose to relate more as equals. If we share our experiences,
we can seek ways to move forward together. And, if both we and our
clients change a shared unproductive situation, we can often generalize this
success to change other situations in our lives. Sharing dreams is not only
integrated into our work, it is already integrated into how we cooperate as
human beings.
Reception & Silent Listening
We often teach by questioning and silent listening. Listening
is another integral part of Soulwork coaching.
Silent listening ... accepting without editing ... is
difficult for many Western people (although monks at a monastery
in Nepal told me that such not-doing is the easiest thing in the world).
Silent listening can also evoke a timeless emptiness - a
void of nothing with the potential for everything. The void is full - full
of potential! Sometimes the void seems to contain possible
answers for every question, and potential solutions for every situation.
Many people spontaneously experience these timeless moments
during our coaching as they step towards
the Soul of Soulwork -
towards the experience that we call integrity. The void is a fairly
predictable experience or ecstatic state on the path to
integrity.
Actualization & Planning
Many people have told us that they experience such states briefly, from time
to time. Stabilizing this experience seems to require that you
clarify your relationships, dissolve your conflicts and resolve your emotional blocks
- your hardly-conscious objections and limiting beliefs.
Here is a paradox - How can you access this awareness to
resolve the issues that prevent you from accessing this awareness?
Our answer is
implicit within our coaching methodology. We take time to listen, and to create a
space between us from which can emerge solutions. From this space we
identify and resolve emotional and relationship problems
and find lasting solutions for unwanted habits. From this space we help people dissolve
issues such as emotional entanglements,
family secrets and
bonded beliefs.
Issues & Complaints
People bring us a wide range of complaints ... obsessions;
sleep problems; fatigue; low energy; chronic emotions; weight issues; stress
reactions; compulsions; frightening dreams and other problems.
We help people explore the emotions that underlie their
complaints ... and the relationship issues that generate those emotions ... and
the relationship changes that can resolve the relationship issues that create the
emotions. Sounds simple, doesn't it? It usually is, when we dream together.
Which of your blocks represent
emotional issues?
Which of your emotions
reflect relationship issues?
Some of your emotions may be transient and others may seem constant or
chronic. Transient emotions may come and go and only last a few seconds, while chronic
emotions often indicate that some part of you is stuck in
abuse or other
trauma. We help many people
resolve these and similar situations.
(Some people seem stuck in a state of no emotions.
We call this identity loss.
The lights are on but nobody is really home. Such people may not ask for
help - they don't feel that anything is wrong.)
Do you want to manage your emotions and enjoy a happier life?
Browse our website and check if you might be interested in working with us.
Perhaps we can dream together with you ...
Soul of Soulwork .
Coaching in Chaos
Do you want to dissolve emotional blocks
and relationship issues?
Online Coaching, Training & Mentorship
Plagiarism is theft.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2012 All rights reserved.
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