|
Fear can be defined as an
emotional response to a known threat, and anxiety as a
diffuse, unpleasant, vague sense of apprehension.
[Kaplan and Sadock "Synopsis of Psychiatry", 8th Ed 1998
Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins.] |
You have more control over your emotions that you
might believe… you are emancipated from mental slavery – only if you
choose to do so. The sword of fear has at least two edges ...
increased protection and increased risk. Some common fears include:
-
Fear of death – do you fear that you will
not survive ... do you fear the experience of death? Fearing death may cause you
to avoid risks to prolong your survival ... or may cause you to
freeze in a dangerous place, which can greatly increase your risk!
-
Fear of meaninglessness – do you fear that
your life is empty ... pointless without meaning or purpose? A lack of meaning may
motivate you to find sense of life ... or may cause you to waste your life
chasing distractions.
-
Fear of loneliness – do you fear that you
will lose people who are important to you? Fearing such a loss may motivate you to value and enjoy your important relationships ... or may cause
you to damage your relationships with emotional clinging or childish behaviors.
Anxiety, Entanglement & Identification
Do you worry constantly, even when nothing seems wrong?
Anxiety is more than worrying. If you can't relax; if you always expect
the worst, you may suffer from chronic anxiety. And if you feel anxiety,
you may also feel depressed about feeling afraid. It's not your fault ...
and we may be able to help you.
If you worry a lot, people may call you irritable or
grouchy. Your muscles may get tense and sore, especially in the upper back and
shoulders. You will likely feel constantly tired.
It may be hard for you to concentrate, to relax or to sleep. You may not
even know what you are worried about. Your life may not make sense.
Anxiety may originate in childhood, but more often
starts during teenage years. More women seem to suffer from anxiety than
men. Some anxiety problems may be due to food allergies and food sensitivities;
while in our experience, most fears
represent entanglements and
relationship fixations.
Does chronic anxiety seems to run in your
family? Does someone in each generation suffer in this way? Anxiety may
indicate a cross-generational entanglement, if someone in each generation
is entangled with someone in the previous generation.
|
I always had good ideas, but I couldn't
make money ... I was too scared that bad things would happen. During our
coaching I realized that I was carrying my grandmother's fears. She often
worried about unknown problems.
After our sessions I realized that 90% of
my old fears were gone. |
Chronic anxiety is often associated with family
disturbances. If a person (usually a family member) does brave or courageous
acts, yet is criticized or condemned by the family for those acts, someone else in the family,
usually a child, expresses the fear of the brave person - the perceived hero.
Such anxiety may be a result of this identification
with a hero.
The primary symptom is fear - often fear of change. Our systemic coaching
offers powerful ways to end this form of identity loss, a chronic display of fear.
(A paradox is - if you are afraid of change, you may be afraid of
change-workers.)
Obsessions
and Compulsions . Addictions
Health Anxieties
Do you feel constant anxiety about your health? Do you interpret body sensations as evidence of
serious disease (hypochondria)? Do you invent medical symptoms to
avoid work, to qualify for disability payments or to evade military
service (malingering)? Do you lie about your health
(sometimes called Munchausen's) to influence or manipulate people?
Few medical professionals
seem to recognize health anxiety. They may accuse
you of exaggerating - or they may call
you a hypochondriac, a malingerer or a liar.
Do you invent medical symptoms to help you get what you want?
Do you enjoy deceiving medical professionals? Health anxiety is also associated
with post-traumatic stress and eating disorders. It is common amongst people who
feel neglected or who want more control.
Trauma and PTSD
. Eating Disorders
. Psychosomatic
Hypochondria: Worried Sick?
Hypochondria means persistent
irrational fear that you have, or will have, a serious
medical condition. You may believe that you have a serious disease and that your doctor is not
working
hard enough.
You may feel dizziness, swelling, palpitations or pain.
But if you distrust medical professionals, you may interpret normal signs (like headache, dizziness, fatigue etc) as
dangerous. This may be connected to
loneliness, depression, guilt or a preoccupation with death.
If you believe that your body is defective or
deformed - you may be labeled as having Body Dismorphic Disorder. Endless reassurance or even plastic surgery are unlikely to ease your
unpleasant feelings about your body.
|
Most
hypochondriac people will never go to a psychiatrist. They'll say, 'I don't
want to talk about this, I want another biopsy, I want that CAT scan
repeated.'
Dr Arthur Barsky (Harvard Medical School). |
Phobias & Social Anxiety
Phobias may be called obsessions and compulsions, and
irrational. We find that many phobias are examples of one-shot accelerated learning! Something happens that a person cannot forget. We can
help most people dissolve phobic reactions in a few sessions.
You may be labeled with social phobia
(social anxiety) if you dread being judged, criticized, and evaluated.
You may be told that your fear is irrational; yet anxiety persists.
If you have social phobia
you find it difficult to be with people ("What are they thinking
about me; maybe they don't like me"). You may attract attention to
yourself or even try to be a center of attention ("If they're going to
talk about me, I'll give them something to talk about!").
GAD - Generalized Anxiety
Are you
constantly worried or afraid? Do you even worry in
your dreams? You may have muscle pains and headaches, you may feel
constantly tired and yet you cannot seem to relax. You may sweat a lot,
even at night. You may feel that you might vomit.
If you have generalized anxiety
you may find it difficult to leave your home. (Something terrible might
happen). You may be afraid of losing it in public. You may feel
insecure in all parts of your life and you may be diagnosed as having agoraphobia.
Solutions for Chronic Anxiety
Anxiety often follows imbalances in a family,
such as a divorce or premature death. Or if a family member takes risks,
for the benefit of the family, and is ignored, another family member
may identify with that perceived hero - and express
the fear that the perceived hero could not express.
|
I coached a woman who was extremely anxious and
afraid of change. She told me that when she was a child, her older sister had
worked as a prostitute to support the family, but her (religious) family told
people that a rich relative was sending them money.
She became anxious and fearful of any
change, but didn't know why. Anxiety drugs, she said, only made her afraid of
doctors too. I helped her replace her chronic anxiety with peaceful
motivation. When we met by chance two years later, she was still peacefully
motivated, also happy, and successful. |
We help people enjoy more peace,
change
their disturbing thoughts, manage their motivations and get what they want.
We coach people to change deep emotions and limiting beliefs how they think about, and react to,
situations in which they feel anxious or fearful - how they respond
to life.
Doctors often treat anxiety with
antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs (benzodiazepines
& beta-blockers). Please consult your physician about anxiety
symptoms or other medical conditions.
|
We coach people to improve
relationships and manage
their emotions
as drug-free steps to achieving their goals. |
Online Coaching for Fear and Anxiety
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2012 All rights reserved
