Explore Sense of Life - Soul and Integrity

This was one of my first articles about coaching. A meaningful life seems to require access to a stable resource - an ongoing sense of integrity or connectedness that can be experienced in any life context. I once referred to this stable experience of connectedness as Soul and called the process Soulwork. The names stuck.

In Germany in the late 1980's, I worked with Annegret Hallanzy (a family therapist near Munich) to find ways to enjoy more meaningful lives ... ways that could help other people do the same. We developed what became a basis for what Annegret later called VoVa (VisionsOrientierte Ver�nderungsArbeit) or Vision Oriented Changework and for what I called Soulwork Systemic Coaching. We sought effective ways to help people end self-sabotage, solve emotional problems and achieve life goals.

Does this sound simple? It requires that people clarify their relationships, dissolve their conflicts, resolve emotional blocks, unconscious objections, relationship issues and limiting beliefs. These are steps to experiencing a stable sense of life that Annegret called Vision and I first called Soul.

The resulting sense of life or experience of integrity or attentive presence need not diminish over time (like fun or motivation) nor depend on one's environment, or on the behavior of other people or on the possession of things. This state is, however, influenced by a class of deep beliefs about oneself or one's world.

Annegret and I found that this stable experience, once accessed and stabilized, can inspire people from diverse cultural backgrounds to improve their lives, resolve past disappointments and choose and fulfill important goals. Yet what we call Soul or integrity is neither an altered state nor dissociation (as commonly sought in drugs or hypnosis); and it is neither a value nor a set of behaviors.

During this experience of integrity, most people describe being intensely present and sensitive to their feelings, environment and relationships, and to a deep awareness of, "How can I fulfill my life?"

When people describe their experience of integrity, they seem to interpret their experience through their beliefs, and they expose their emotional maturity. They may use spiritual words such as "Spirit talks through me"; religious descriptions e.g. "I am within Christ"; or abstract metaphors such as �I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean� or �I am a child of the universe�.

Most adults whom we coached to experience Soul usually agree with any of these metaphors, while people who have not may try to interpret such words literally or analytically, and build philosophical arguments. I cannot describe this experience ... yet it's obvious once you have experienced it yourself.

Integrity is a useful first step to changing emotions, beliefs and false identifications.

Have you found your personal vision? Have you experienced integrity?
See: Psychobiology of Soul and Chaos Coaching

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integrity

What is soul? I can't answer this question for other people. Rather, I help people explore the meaning of soul for themselves. For me, the Soul of Soulwork refers to a stable experience, not to a theory, dogma, philosophy, personality or altered state. Some people called this experience �the real me� or �my true self� - although not egotistically. I help people* access and stabilize this experience of connectedness to become part of their everyday lives.

(* In my experience, motivated adults are unlikely to include children, immature adults, people suffering brain damage, dementia or psychosis, addicts, dedicated members of cults or cult-like organizations, or people with identity loss ... at least not until until they resolve those issues.)

Soul as a Stable Experience of Connectedness

Soul includes an experience of connectedness. People describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to all people, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may say sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the whole is part of me". I help people sort through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences and altered states to find integrity.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integration

People often act as if they are fragmented. They may say �I don�t like the part of me that...� or "Part of me wants to ... but part of me doesn't". We help people integrate these identity fragments or personality parts to access the identity that existed before fragmentation. And we can help motivated adults acknowledge and integrate the wisdom from which they created these personality parts.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Identity

During Soul experience, people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and choose how to maintain relationships that support their sense of life. Ego becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made with integrity.

Soul experience can guide Meaningful Life

People may describe Soul experience as the true me or my highest potential. Some people visualize a path to a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.

The experience I call Soul seems to bridge the abstraction of connectedness with the details of everyday life. Unlike static transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to integrity for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions. Integrity can become a wonderful compass when making decisions.

Soul experience can evaluate Relationships

Many people feel connected to family members by limiting beliefs and fixations, which often represent conditions for relationships (e.g. I can only stay with you if I feel too stupid to leave), although many people avoid recognizing their fixations and bonds to important people (I often call these taboo bonds).

We coach people to evaluate and change their beliefs, fixations and bonds, and gain relief from strong, unpleasant emotions, enmeshments and unwanted habits.

Soul experience can evaluate Life Events

I help people enjoy lives that make sense. Each life experience, no matter how apparently toxic or abusive, can become a valuable learning opportunity. People can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use past unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of important goals.

Soul experience can guide Life Purpose

If you have important, congruent goals (i.e. no objections) , you may find that each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling human relationships and fulfilling a sense of purpose in our human lives.

What Soul (of Soulwork) is not ...

The experience of integrity that I call Soul has little in common with the many psychological, metaphysical or philosophical theories that I have read or heard. In the context of our coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... including soul music, soul food and esoteric entities ...

Soul experience is not a philosophical concept

I do not try to persuade people to accept any theory or philosophy. This experience of integrity seems to be only available to responsible adults who have (or who have regained) access to their own identity that might have been lost through relationship disappointments, cult membership, trauma, or etc.

Living with integrity is forever a choice - I cannot push people to choose wisely or to find their purpose, although I may provocatively point out some of the consequences of ignorance.

Soul experience is not a personality part

Soul is closer to that which connects or underlies ego-states, inner children or parts. It is closer to a connectedness that is neither you nor another person or thing. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance if you and another person choose to love (respect, accept etc) both yourselves and each other.

I might describe Soul or Integrity may as a multi-dimensional experience that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and the experience of feeling connected.