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Do you want to prevent marriage problems, resolve emotional issues and
change bad habits?
Do you need Premarital Coaching?
Probably. Your love for each other, however heavenly, will be
grounded by your relationship skills and life experience. Our premarital counseling
and marriage coaching can help you build a strong foundation for your committed
partnership together. Some key issues are: leaving your parents, establishing
roles and finding partnership goals.
Most young adults want happy partnership, yet they may
not understand how sexual attraction and infatuation can fade, and how
to build shared values and companionship. We see partnership as
intimate teamwork, where two people create an intimate space in which
they can nourish yourselves, and provide a home for children or
important projects? If either of you lack friendship or teamwork skills,
then your partnership will likely suffer until you develop them.
An important question you need to answer is,
"How can I be SURE that (s)he is right for me?"
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Women seem to have almost unlimited
capacity for forgiveness. (Since it is usually men who need
forgiveness, this must be a racial survival trait.) Robert Heinlein
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Soul Mates
. Predictable Partnership .
Space for Love
Our Couple Coaching
Partners are not property - partners who
think otherwise will suffer. But few people learn
from others' experience
- most people learn about partnership the hard way.
You can live and learn ... or you can forget about happiness.
Our couple and marriage coaching is effective. We find that six hours is
normal for premarital couples. Most couples use this time to clarify partnership
issues and to clean up their relationships with their parents and any past-partners.
Each year, few
couples decide that their beliefs, values and goals are incompatible for
long-term partnership - and choose friendship instead.
Our standard premarital couple coaching is for six hours. We
first focus on evaluating values and sharing
expectations. Our counseling includes increasing independence from
parents, finishing unfinished business with past partners and
dealing with unstable relatives or unsupportive friends. This includes evaluating
and combining individual and couple goals such as:
- changing or ending previous
relationships
- what is acceptable in extramarital relationships?
- are social goals are similar or at least compatible?
- evaluating mutual friends and unacceptable friends
- change or end habits more appropriate for single people
- how much time for entertainment and shared recreation?
- partnership roles: individual and shared tasks and
chores
- individual rights, (decisions,
boundaries, when to seek help)
- in-laws (separation; contact; celebrations & rituals;
financial help)
- finances (support; budget; decisions; savings; careers;
accounts)
- religion (importance; involvement; disagreement;
financial support)
- children (plans; limits; alternatives; child care;
discipline; education; handicaps)
Our couple coaching is not just discussing issues,
rather we provoke objections and doubts, and we help you define poorly
formed goals. We notice and help you explore your objections, abstract
goals, conflicts, negative goals and inappropriate bonds to parents or
past-partners. A few sessions of individual coaching can resolve many
entanglements, disappointments and guilt.
Evaluating
Partnership . Enjoying Partnership
. Hawaiian Wedding
Premarital Coaching 1
We can help you test your compatibility
by comparing your beliefs and values. We discuss many key
issues such as where to live, how many children and how you want to
raise them.
If you have only met each other in romantic
conditions, you might make some mild stress tests. Can
you discuss your differences - your different opinions about religion,
sex, politics and money? Can you discuss how to furnish a home together,
or put up wallpaper together without a fight?
If you know your strengths and weaknesses as a couple,
you can build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Many
weaknesses are due to relationship entanglements ... unhealthy enmeshments
with parents or ex-partners, etc, and to bad relationship habits.
Premarital Coaching 2
We can help you assess your entanglements with parents
and past-partners, etc, and help you disentangle. A coach can help you
check that your love for each other is not based on some wild transference to a
relative or media figure. We can help you resolve transferences, dysfunctional
habits and relationship bonds to parents or past
partners etc.
Entanglements . Mother-Son Bonds
. Father-Daughter Bonds
Systemic diagnosis is usually fast,
and fun for both of you, and prepares you for ...
Premarital Coaching 3
Our marriage coaching can help you explore your
relationship strengths and challenges, not only now but also in the
predictable future. We can help you explore the long-term aspects of
not only living together but sharing a lifetime together - and avoiding
becoming a single parent.
Couple Coaching
and Testimonial
More practically, you can develop a workable budget and
financial plan, develop your personal, couple and family goals and get
ready to resolve other issues that usually arise.
Make an Appointment
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
2004-2012 All rights reserved. |
