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It's easier for most people to
use drugs as a substitute for change. Self-medication with alcohol or nicotine,
or with anti-depressants and stimulants, are easier than applying intelligence,
focus and analytical skills to complex relationship situations ... and more profitable.
The long-term consequences of ignoring emotions,
together with the side-effects of psychoactive drugs, are unacceptable
to an increasing number of health professionals ... and their patients.
Crisis, Trauma & PTSD Coaching
Have you experienced or witnessed an event that involved
injury, abuse or serious loss? Did you suffer a serious accident or a
life-threatening disease? Do you since experience anxiety, or helplessness,
or perhaps horror? Do you feel disturbed when something reminds you of that
event? Do you try to avoid anything that reminds you of it?
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What are Crisis, Trauma and Abuse? |
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In our Systemic Coaching, crisis refers
to an event in which a person has not yet re-gained emotional stability,
although much time may have passed.
In our Systemic Coaching, trauma
refers to events that cause a person to fragment their personality,
typically to manage overwhelming emotions that cannot be rationalized.
Following trauma, split-off partial personalities (parts) are typically
age-regressed (childish).
In our Systemic Coaching, abuse refers to
trauma that, in the opinion of the victim,
was deliberately
caused with an intent to create harm or suffering. |
Did you cut off and hide some part of yourself? Are you
depressed following a traumatic event or series of events? Do you feel
detached or fragmented or dissociated? Do you have panic or anxiety attacks?
Can you concentrate - or does your attention wander? Do you feel exhausted,
yet you cannot sleep properly? Do you suffer from unpleasant
emotions or recurring nightmares? Are you depressed?
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Military Intelligence: Between Iraq and a Hard Place |
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Mental health problems
are part of warfare. A survey of 1000 US troops returning from the
Middle East and Iraq in 2005 found that 30% had anxiety, depression,
nightmares, irrational anger and an
inability to concentrate. A 2004 survey of combat troops in Iraq
combat zones showed that about 13% experienced significant
mental-health problems. Stress-related problems are often worse for
National Guard members, who try to return to civilian life after
active military duty. |
Unresolved trauma, from a stressful event or a series of
events, can cause flashbacks and nightmares. You may feel emotionally numb or
you may hurt yourself and others with explosive emotions and mood swings. You
may be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress (PTSD) or
depression.
Trauma & Crisis Coaching
We help people heal the consequences of
trauma in war, terrorism, prison, accidents, rape, military service,
domestic violence, childhood abuse or surgery. If you wish, we can
coach you to help yourself with our unique coaching.
In our
Systems 4 training, we teach coaching
strategies to resolve the consequences of abuse and trauma. To accelerate this
return to health, we may help people resolve their emotional and relationship
issues that existed BEFORE their trauma and personality fragmentation.
Stress
. Depression
. Insomnia
. Anger Management
Forgotten, Taboo & Repressed Memories
You may have symptoms associated with
trauma, but not remember a trauma. You may have strong unpleasant emotions but
only remember a minor incident. You may have forgotten that you forgot some
traumatic or abusive event. Perhaps you were young or perhaps the trauma
involved important people. We can coach you to safely remember traumatic
events and resolve and abusive memories.
A common effect of trauma is identity loss,
in which you may feel you have lost part of your sense of self, your sense of
integrity or your sense of life. Identity loss seems to have four main varieties -
identification, identity conflict, lost identity and identity beliefs or
bonds. Such split off parts are often associated
with emotions and beliefs that could not be rationalized during the crisis or
stress.
If you were abused, or if you participated in or witnessed
something that you could not assimilate, then you may have "split off"
part or parts of yourself. These split-off parts are usually age-regressed and
motivate childish emotions and immature behavior. We help people pull
themselves
together.
Your
identity has been shaped by your parents, by ethnic or religious
values, by political propaganda and by education. Your
identity may involve your culture, such as a racial or a minority
group. To maintain important relationships, you may claim to believe things that
you know are not true.
Consequences of Stress, Trauma & Abuse
If you experienced stress, trauma or abuse, yet do not
resolve it, you are less likely to stay employed or married, and you are
more likely to feel depressed, aggressive or violent. You may suffer
lowered well-being and self-esteem - and you may only relate to people
who suffered stress or trauma.
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Common Symptoms following Stress,
Trauma & Abuse
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- anxiety / hypochondria
- apathy / lethargy
- chronic or phantom pain
- depression / guilt
- digestive problems
- dissociation
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- hopelessness
- isolation / withdrawal
- mood swings
- panic attacks
- phobias
- promiscuity
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- risky relationships
- self-harm
- sleep disorders
- substance abuse
- volatile emotions
- worthlessness
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If you have split off part of yourself during stress,
abuse or trauma, you may feel and act like a wounded child whenever something
reminds you of those events. We can help you recover, nurture and
integrate parts of you stuck in compulsions and obsessions during our online
coaching.
The consequences of abuse can include a sense of childish helplessness
or inability to make decisions or to act; shame, guilt, self-blame; a sense of
being dirty or defiled; a sense of complete difference from others (may include
feeling special, alone or separated).
Relatives, especially children, may try to carry your burden.
Your decreased sense of life and mood swings may be interpreted as
victim or unable to love. Your helplessness may motivate
your children to protect you as they would protect a wounded child. (This is
often repeated across generations).
Resolving Stress, Abuse & Trauma
Some symptoms associated with abuse and trauma can be
managed with medication. But if the underlying identity loss is not
restored, then the symptoms will return, often in other forms, perhaps
precipitating long term dysfunction that is most evident in
relationships.
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I was a soldier during Croatia's war with Serbia.
My unit was in a village attacked by the Yugoslav army. I saw people
being butchered ... and I ran. I found a hole in a field and I stayed
in it for 3 days. Part of me died in that hole. Since then I could not
concentrate and I could feel shocked to tears by sudden loud noises.
During coaching, I found the younger me who I thought had died in that
hole. I can concentrate better - for the first time in years.
Zagreb, Croatia |
If you have suffered severe stress, abuse or trauma, you
may try to distract yourself with alcohol, drugs, sex or food.
We can help you regain your values and live with integrity. Drugs and obsessions
can evaporate as you rebuild your identity and realign with your life
purpose. You can recover your self-respect
- as you learn to live and love again.
Addictions
. Sexual Issues . Review by
a Medical Doctor
Going APE: Assimilate Problematic Experiences
The APES model (William B Stiles, 1990) describes
easily recognizable stages of change as people assimilate problematic emotions,
experiences or inner conflicts. Our coaching can accelerate progress through
these stages. Here is a summary ...
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Assimilating Problematic Experiences (APE) |
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0 |
Dissociated: A person is unaware of a problem; unpleasant
thoughts
and feelings are silent or rapidly silenced. |
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1 |
Avoidance: A person avoids thinking about an experience.
Thoughts and feelings can be unpleasant but are scattered, diffuse, unfocused
or
unclear. |
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2 |
Emergence: A person cannot describe the problem clearly
but is aware
of emotional suffering or panic associated with an
unpleasant experience. |
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3 |
Clarification: A person can recognize potential solutions
and can
manage their unpleasant emotions and inner conflicts without panic. |
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4 |
Understanding: A person can describe the experience and conflicts
with some unpleasant feelings and with some
pleasant surprises. |
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5 |
Application: A person can set goals to solve problems.
The person
becomes more optimistic in this context. |
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6 |
Resourceful: A person uses problematic experiences as
life resources
for solving problems. The person feels generally optimistic and satisfied. |
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7 |
Integration: A person generalizes solutions. The
unpleasant experience
can be used as a resource
for resolving other situations and problems. |
We offer solutions for stress, trauma and abuse.
Do you want better relationships?
Do you want to recover lost parts
of yourself? Do you want to feel more complete?
Online Coaching following Abuse and
Trauma
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2012 All rights reserved.
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