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Some crab fishermen say that there is no need to cover buckets of live crabs.
If one crab starts to climb out of a bucket,
other crabs will pull it back.
Few crabs ever escape ... most will be cooked and eaten.
Are YOU trapped in a crab bucket?
Are you holding others back?
Consider your family, colleagues and friends. Do
the people you live, work and relax with support you to fulfill your goals?
Do they support you - or do they attempt to block your happiness and success? Do you feel trapped in
a crab bucket?
Whichever way you wish, we can offer you
a helping claw.
Do some people prefer to limit your choices rather than
encourage you to fulfill your dreams? A Philippine client uses the phrase
crab mentality to mean, “If I can't have it,
neither can you!”
Many people raised in unhealthy families consider
their families to be normal, and repeat their family's behaviors.
Their lives may seem to reflect their family's disappointments.
We help people manage their emotions, dissolve the consequences of their relationship
disappointments and move on with their lives.
Does your family only pretend that they
are
happy and healthy? Do your colleagues try to dictate how other team members should
behave? Is obedience, compliance and power more important than accepting and
encouraging each other? You already understand the crab bucket.
People trapped in crab buckets often value obedience more than happiness.
Common Myth-Takes
Are you creating your life - or clinging to
childish myths? When you try to
climb out of your crab bucket, are you pulled back by other crabs? Have
you given up? When your children try to climb out of your crab bucket -
will you try to pull your children back?
Freeing yourself of myths often requires that you reject those myths. Other
people may try to stop you of
course, they may even prefer that you suffer. They may use threats
and guilt to obtain your compliance. Leaving an unhealthy family
or a symbiotic team may not be so easy.
But if you want to live your own life, you will
probably leave the comfort of your parents' home. If you want to build your own
business you will probably leave the security of organizational teams. And, as you build your own life, you can create your own
home and teams that suit you.
Is your future held hostage by
your relationships?
We perceive families and teams as living
systems of people - not just groups of individuals. We evaluate relationships in terms of roles and responsibilities, and we
solve problems by exploring how people can better
work together rather than trying to fix individual members.
If you do not resolve problematic
traditions or habits, you can expect your fixations, obsessions and
habits - and their consequences - to
be repeated by your children or employees. We sometimes talk about this
family or team karma ... people who try to carry other people's
emotional baggage.
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You don't have to be this way
... we can help you change.
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Relationships
Your life includes coping with predictable relationship
problems: e.g. premature deaths, illnesses, missing family members, accidents
or other events. These events not only impact the daily life of your family
members - and if handled poorly they can upset descendents for generations.
Families include shared feelings, beliefs,
responsibilities and goals. Family behavior is strongly affected by the
members' perceptions of their behaviors, beliefs, values and justice.
Often, the meanings given to events seem to be more important than
the events themselves.
If a family member is rejected (for any reason)
- this may not only hurt and humiliate the rejected members. Other family members,
even in subsequent generations, may try to bring back the excluded family
members, either by adopting or marrying substitutes for those missing people, or by identification
- by expressing the emotions and feelings of the missing people.
You can take steps to prevent the unpleasant events and
tragedies of your ancestors being repeated by your children - and their
children. You can prevent cross-generational family enmeshment and
intergenerational fixations. We can show you how.
Medical Doctor's Perspective
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Identifications
We coach motivated adults. We help individuals families
and teams change how they behave together. We can help you and your
family or team cope with a changing world.
Partnership .
Predictable Partnership .
Evaluating Partnership
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Most remedial approaches deal only with symptoms, and not with
systemic roots. Following such interventions, the system renews the
symptom or creates another, continuing to express the dysfunction.
People can be ill from the same illness repetitively, or from
successive similar diseases. Systemic coaching resolves the
fundamental imbalance; until the symptom spontaneously disappears.
Rooted in relationships are: physical illnesses,
compulsive-addictive behavior, mental blocks and repetitive life
crises. Ana Pejcinova, PhD |
We cannot help everybody. Our coaching may
be too intense for people with medical or psychological disorders,
or for children. Other people
who are unlikely to benefit much from our coaching include:
- people who cannot or will not
participate
- people who risk an emotional or
psychological crisis
- people with cultural or religious
values opposed to counseling
Some of our Coaching Resources
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