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Your emotional maturity is a blessing for
your colleagues, your partner and your children.
Do you enjoy life - or do you live in hope for
better future that doesn't come? Do you actively pursue your goals, or do you
give up quickly? Do you make wise choices - do you or let other people decide
for you? Your happiness and success depend on your
decisions - and your decisions depend on your emotions and beliefs.
An emotional block is like a mind virus that can
affect you outside your awareness. They often reflect relationship
disappointments or embarrassing experiences. They are often attached to
unpleasant limiting beliefs (e.g. "I am bad" or "the world
is dangerous") that allow you to feel connected to important people -
hence we often refer to them as bonds.
The emotional consequences of a crisis include
your own emotional reactions and the emotional reactions of other people.
Emotional first aid can start with deep breathing, filling your lungs to the
bottom, and then releasing the air. Some people do this spontaneously, while others may
pant.
If you feel that life sabotages you - perhaps you
are sabotaging yourself? Do you approach difficulties as lessons and challenges, or do
you take them as proof of some unpleasant beliefs? The history of success is
full of people who experienced worse difficulties than you - and succeeded
anyway - primarily because of their clarity, persistence and sense of purpose.
Some people believe that their possibility of
success is predestined ... if it's meant to be it will happen. Others
believe that their blocks are created by external influences such as esoteric
energies, energy vampires or planets. People try to understand and explain
irrational blocks in many ways. Some reasons might be obvious to people who know
you, but not to you ... they are hidden ... unconscious.
Origin of Emotional Blocks & Limiting Beliefs
Psychologists noticed that babies and toddlers
are much more sensitive to nonverbal communication than adults (at the beginning
of the 20th century it was believed that babies were not aware of physical pain,
let alone emotional suffering). Children accept their experiences - including
pain and suffering - as normal. Then they create conclusions (often
exaggerated and generalized ideas) that become beliefs.
Babies have no prior experience by which to
assess their world. They are more like sponges that absorb experience ... week
after week, month after month, year after year. By the time they are adults,
they won't remember their early experiences well ... they remember their emotions
and beliefs.
That is why it's so difficult to understand what
created these issues. Many people believe that having emotional blocks means
having been intentionally abused. But in most cases, children create
emotional blocks and limiting beliefs based on the behavior of family
members, especially parents.
Many times we hear people say, "I don't
remember anything unpleasant about my childhood" or "My parents
always cared about me." And they are probably right! Still, we live in a
challenging world and every baby will experience some unpleasant situations. Our
parents grew up in more limited society, with much less knowledge, and might not
have known what their children needed. Many unhealthy behaviors, emotions and
beliefs are spontaneously transferred from generation to generation.
Was your mother was warm and caring - but full of
anxiety or guilt? Chances are that you believe that anxiety and guilt are
normal. Was your father responsible, but didn't express emotions? Perhaps
you believe that all men are like that. Maybe something was missing in your
family - happiness, motivation, self-esteem, fun? As a baby, you learned to live
in a similar way. You might have always felt that something important was missing
- and the missing qualities may later manifest as obsessions.
Observe your reactions, and notice what
repeatedly causes you to feel limited, discouraged or in other ways unpleasant.
Chances are, once you recognize your patterns, they will remind you of early
family experiences.
Here is where we can help. We developed focused
and effective ways to help people uncover and change what lies in their
subconscious minds. We help people clear up a wide range of emotional and relationship
issues - not only trauma, but unconscious fixations and identifications, long-term conflicts
and unhealthy relationships.
Blocks, Beliefs & Goals
Your limiting beliefs and self-sabotage may
become painfully obvious as you step towards your most important goals. This
is why many people - unconsciously - avoid making clear goals.
Emotional blocks can prevent you being peaceful,
happy and successful - and if you are successful - prevent you from enjoying
your success. Most emotional blocks are rooted in trauma, even blocks
about a current problem or some potential crisis that hasn't happened -
and maybe will never happen.
By emotional blocks we mean unpleasant feelings
such as frustration, boredom, anxiety, sadness and irritation. People spend a
lot of money trying to avoid these feelings ... enough to support multi-billion
dollar industries that provide drugs and distractions.
Emotional blocks can create relationship and
health problems. If you want to lead a full, integrated life and create the life
experiences you truly want, you can learn to explore and transform the feelings
that you have avoided or kept bottled up for many years.
When you feel unable to handle a crisis, do you
feel emotions such as fear, anger, confusion, anxiety, guilt, or
inadequacy? If in these moments you feel immature, you cannot think clearly
about the crisis, and you may be unable find appropriate solutions. See
Emotional Maturity
Limiting Beliefs
Emotional blocks are often intertwined with
limiting beliefs. We often hear people say things like "I feel bad because
I know I can't succeed; and I can't succeed because I feel so bad".
Exploring emotions and changing beliefs needs either a lot of practice or
help from an experienced coach.
An internal dialog is normal.
Does your internal dialog include beliefs about your ability to cope
with events and situations? Internal dialog often includes self-fulfilling
prophecies and self-criticism.
If you pay attention to your inner dialog (self-talk),
you may find beliefs that can
lead to anxiety, irritation and depression. Such beliefs can
sap your motivation and hinder or prevent you from finding creative solutions to your
problems.
Positive and Negative Emotions?
In 20 years of helping people change emotional blocks,
I have never found a negative emotion. I have met plenty of people with
unpleasant emotions and feelings that they tried to get rid of or forget. But never a
negative emotion. I find nothing negative about anger, sadness fear or
guilt, etc.
So-called negative emotions are supposed to include
feelings such as: apathy, grief, fear, boredom, hatred, shame, blame, regret,
resentment, frustration and hostility. Yet each emotion has at least one purpose and each
has at least one
blessing - in appropriate situations.
All your emotions will be right and justifiable in some
context - and irrational in other contexts. So called positive emotions
such as interest, enthusiasm, laughter, empathy, action and curiosity can get you
into deep trouble in an inappropriate context.
Are you still carrying unpleasant emotions
and limiting beliefs from your childhood?
Your Parents
Your parents were probably doing the best
they knew how to do, entangled with their own parents and trying to give
their children whatever they lacked when they were young. And with the best of
intentions, they may have given your some emotional blocks.
Emotional blocks refer to feelings, emotions,
attitudes, habits and beliefs ... and although little may be conscious
- they can have huge consequences. Do you feel bad about your parents' partnership,
or remorse about lost opportunities? We can help you unpack, explore and
organize your emotional baggage. Ignoring
it may delay your personal growth and damage your relationships.
Mature people know what they want, how
they feel and why they feel that way. They find solutions to problems quickly.
They have similar challenges to less happy people - but healthy people
deal with them much faster. Healthy people don't get stuck for long ...
they rarely sabotage themselves.
Emotional blocks and limiting beliefs can
hurt you and the people you love. Entangled relationships with parents,
grandparents, etc, can cause chaos and suffering. These enmeshments can
diminish your ability to enjoy your life and your relationships.
Appropriate Emotional Reactions
We help people
explore their emotional blocks and
limiting beliefs. Emotional blocks can include
cultural and family values, beliefs and attitudes that motivate or demotivate
action. We often refer to these consequences as Pandora's Box,
emotional baggage or just stuff.
Some strong emotions are desirable and even
entertaining ... many people will pay for emotional experiences in safe
environments. Consider thriller and horror movies, fairground rides and
dangerous-looking sports such as parachuting or white-water rafting. Parts of
you like expressing emotions!
Over the years we have developed many effective
ways to help people safely untangle their emotional baggage and sort out
their stuff. We help people dissolve or replace their legacy of limiting
beliefs, irrational emotions and unwanted habits ... with compassion ... and
usually with humor.
Don't Recycle Emotional Blocks ... Change Them!
Emotional blocks affect maturity and
responsibility. People with emotional blocks often entangle
other people in webs of confusion - and they may not know how else to relate.
The consequences of emotional blocks and limiting beliefs
often worsen over time, causing relationship and health problems.
Your willingness to untangle your emotions and
beliefs reflects your emotional maturity and mental health! The benefits of
dissolving these issues include an increased feelings of wellbeing, relief,
confidence and motivation.
We can help you find solutions
for emotional blocks and self-sabotage.
Online Coaching for Emotional Blocks
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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers & Kosjenka Muk 2010 All rights reserved. |
