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Many people use drugs
as a substitute for change. Alcohol or nicotine,
or anti-depressants and stimulants, seem easier than applying
intelligence and analytical skills to complex situations. Drugs
seem cheaper for the patient (in the short term), and more profitable
for health professionals.
But the long-term consequences of ignoring emotions,
together with the side-effects of psychoactive drugs, are unacceptable
to an increasing number of health professionals and to their patients.
Crisis, Abuse, Trauma & PTSD
Have you experienced or witnessed an event that involved
injury, abuse or serious loss? Did you suffer a serious accident or a
life-threatening disease? Do you since experience anxiety, or helplessness,
or perhaps horror? Do you feel disturbed when something reminds you of that
event? Do you try to avoid anything that reminds you of it?
Your emotions will influence your thoughts, beliefs, values, decisions and
behavior. Although some emotions are called negative, we continually find
that emotions, even unpleasant or irrational emotions, have purpose. Anger,
compassion, fear, courage, sadness and joy can provide inner guidance - if you can
accept it.
Dr. Sigmund Freud, suggested that
childhood trauma is a key factor in emotional adjustment. If true, the way you were
nurtured as a child provided a structure for your beliefs and
values - which affect your personality, happiness and maturity. Does your early
childhood nurturing support you now?
Many people survive trauma and abuse by splitting off or
hiding parts of themselves. Have you hidden some of your emotions? Do you feel
detached, fragmented or dissociated? Do you suffer panic or anxiety attacks at
odd moments? Can you focus and concentrate - or does your attention wander?
Do you feel exhausted, yet you cannot sleep? Are you
often depressed or numb?
Does your life feel meaningless? Unresolved abuse, trauma and stress can cause
flashbacks and nightmares. Might you hurt yourself and others with explosive
emotions or mood swings? Post-traumatic stress (PTSD) or
depression, (see
identity loss) may be caused by events that happened many years ago
but may be triggered by tiny events.
Coaching after Trauma & Abuse
We help people resolve the consequences of trauma ...
whether from war, terrorism, prison, accidents, rape, military service,
domestic violence, early childhood events or surgery. We coach people to find
relief and feel well again. (We teach our systemic strategies for resolving
the consequences of abuse and trauma in our
Systems 4 training.)
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Military Stress & Military Intelligence |
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2005 BBC News A survey
of 1000 US troops returning from the Middle East and Iraq in 2005
found that 30% had problems such as anxiety, depression, nightmares,
irrational anger and inability to concentrate. A 2004 survey of
troops in Iraq combat zones showed that about 13% experienced
significant mental-health problems.
2010
BBC News,
Fort Lewis, Washington As troops return home, experts warn of depression,
isolation, stress, anger, divorce and suicide. Scott Swaim, a Gulf War veteran and
a therapist in the US state of Washington, says troops coming home go through a
honeymoon period, but cannot leave their memories behind. "The depression is
huge and suicide rates are off the charts" says Mr Swaim.
2010
McClatchy Newspapers The military discharge troops who suffer from combat stress, instead of
providing treatment, according to US Senator Christopher Bond. Many soldiers
discharged for adjustment disorders could be afflicted with post-traumatic
stress disorder or brain injury, and have left the military without official
medical diagnoses nor any chance for medical benefits.
2010
LA Times Every 36 hours, a member of the American armed forces
commits suicide, according to the U.S. Department of Defense ... the
numbers of suicides among active-duty personnel has reached record levels in
every branch of the armed services. |
We coach people to resolve many emotional and relationship
issues, to define their goals and to make practical plans to achieve them.
Forgotten, Taboo & Repressed Memories
You may have symptoms associated with trauma, but not
remember a trauma. You may have strong unpleasant emotions but only
remember some minor incidents. You may have hidden the memory and
forgotten that you forgot ...
perhaps you were young or the trauma involved family members.
We can help you recover and resolve traumatic memories, and stop
projecting prejudices onto people.
A common effect of trauma is identity loss,
in which you feel you have lost or hidden part of yourself, your sense
of integrity or your sense of life. It is so common that we define trauma -
not as how severe we think it was - but rather as "events that
motivate
people to split-off parts of their identity".
If you were abused, or if you participated
in or witnessed something that you could not rationalize, then you may
have split off some part of yourself. Later, to maintain an important
relationship, you may hold limiting beliefs that you know are false. We can
help you pull yourself together.
Your identity was shaped in part by
your parents, by your parents' religion and politics, by your culture, by mass marketing
and by your education. Your identity probably includes your culture,
especially if you are a member of a racial or a minority group. We can
help you assimilate any shadows from the past and become all of who you are.
Consequences of Stress, Trauma & Abuse
If you experienced severe stress, trauma or abuse, yet
do not resolve it, you are less likely to stay employed or married, and
you are more likely to feel depressed, aggressive or violent. You may
suffer lowered well-being and self-esteem and you may only relate
to people who suffered stress or trauma.
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Symptoms that may follow Stress,
Trauma & Abuse
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- accident prone
- anxiety and hypochondria
- apathy
- chronic or phantom pain
- dangerous relationships
- depression
- digestive problems
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- dissociation
- hopelessness
- hyperactive
- isolation and withdrawal
- mood swings
- panic attacks
- phobias
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- promiscuity
- self-harm
- sleep disorders
- startles easily
- substance abuse
- volatile emotions
- worthlessness
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If you split off some part of yourself during stress,
abuse or trauma - and you are motivated - we can help you recover, nurture and
integrate that part of you. Until then, you may feel and act like a
wounded child whenever something triggers repressed emotions or reminds you of that trauma.
Close relatives, especially children, may try to carry your
emotional baggage. Your decreased sense of
life and mood swings may be interpreted as victim or unable to love.
Your helplessness may motivate
family members to try to protect you as they might protect a wounded child.
Dissolving Stress and Trauma
Some symptoms associated with abuse and trauma can be
managed with medication. But if the underlying identity loss is not
restored, then the symptoms will return, often in other forms, perhaps
precipitating long term dysfunction. Adult dysfunction is most evident in
their relationships.
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I was a soldier during Croatia's war with Serbia.
My unit was in a village attacked by the Yugoslav army. I saw people
being butchered ... and I ran. I found a hole in a field and I stayed
in it for 3 days. Part of me died in that hole. Since then I could not
concentrate and I could feel shocked to tears by sudden loud noises.
During your coaching, I found the young me who I thought had died in that
hole. Now I can concentrate and focus - for the first time in years.
Zagreb, Croatia |
If you have suffered severe stress, abuse or trauma, you may
have distracted yourself with addictions,
sexual issues or food. We can
help you regain your values and live with integrity, rebuild your identity
and realign with your life purpose. We coach people to recover their self-respect
- as they learn to live and love again.
Going APE: Assimilate Problematic Experiences
The APES model (William B Stiles, 1990) describes stages
of change as people accept problematic emotions, experiences or inner
conflicts. These stages are often readily recognizable, and progress through
them can be accelerated by effective coaching. Here is our summary ...
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Assimilating Problematic Experiences (APE) |
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0 |
Dissociate: People are unaware of their problems;
they silence unpleasant thoughts and dissociate unpleasant feelings.
They forget that they have forgotten something ... |
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1 |
Avoid: People avoid remembering or considering
certain experiences. Their unpleasant thoughts and feelings are scattered,
diffuse, unfocused or unclear. |
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2 |
Accept: People cannot describe their unpleasant
experiences clearly and are aware of emotional suffering or panic
associated with the experiences. |
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3 |
Clarify: People can recognize potential
solutions and they can manage unpleasant emotions and inner conflicts
without suffering or panic. |
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4 |
Understand: People can describe their experiences,
conflicting thoughts and difficult consequences with some unpleasant feelings
and some pleasant surprises. |
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5 |
Apply: People can set goals to solve problems,
using their conflicting thoughts and feelings to change life problems,
becoming more optimistic in these contexts. |
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6 |
Benefit: People use their problematic experiences as
resources for solving problems. They enjoy flexible thoughts and
feelings and feel generally optimistic and satisfied. |
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7 |
Integrate: People generalize solutions.
The unpleasant experiences can become resources
for resolving other experiences, situations and problems. |
Renewal
We coach people to assimilate their emotions, rebuild their lives and renew their
relationships - including relationships with people who are missing or dead. We
help people recover lost or hidden parts of themselves, reclaim their
integrity and move on with their lives.
Program
Overview
. Review by a Medical Doctor
Please consult a physician about
any opinions about medical conditions.
Online Coaching for Abuse &
Trauma
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2012 All rights reserved.
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