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Many young adults seem to be entangled or enmeshed with their
parents' and teachers' beliefs, values and habits. Teenagers may feel torn between their parents and
the desires of their friends.
We can help teenagers untangle their lives and develop their path to success.
Teenagers
. Troubled Teenage Girls .
Coaching Children
Many young adults have idealistic and unrealistic
ideas about independence. Teenagers often focus on freedom from parental and
school restrictions, where they've often spent so many hours doing
things they disliked. More demands and criticism are unlikely to motivate teenagers
to enjoy maturity.
Maturity - Past & Present
Perhaps maturity used to be simpler.
In our history, opportunities were fewer and required much less education. Childhood
once ended with adolescence and
most young adults followed their parent's footsteps. Teenage girls became wives and
mothers while teenage boys participated in the family
farming, trade or they went to fight in some war.
Most young adults lived with their parents until they
partnered. Often, even after choosing a partner, young adults lived with their parents until
they could create a home of their own. And then, they often stayed
near their families, giving each other emotional and practical support. Things
have changed.
Coaching Teenagers & Young Adults
We perceive young adults as people aged 16-24 years old,
who are making decisions
about values, and goals and life purpose. Our systemic coaching can help young adults make
these decisions, accept responsibility for their actions and learn from their successes
... and from their failures.
Active listening, provocation and reflecting
are useful skills when coaching youths and
teenagers. Our systemic coaching includes many other innovative and useful tools for
helping young adults.
Relationship Coaching for Young Adults
Many teenagers obsess about games and sex. Young adults seek
healthy potential partners who want to commit to partnership, and move on with
adult lives. Mature young adults want healthy partnership and healthy children, yet they may not
understand or believe that sexual attraction will fade.
Young adults often need coaching and mentorship on how to
develop sexual attraction with shared values,
partnership goals and lasting companionship.
Emotional
Incest . Premarital Coaching .
Emotional Maturity
Coaching Others is Coaching Self
Young adults can help each other through teenage emotions and
passions. Relationships are a popular discussion topic for young adults
especially about finding potential partners, how to maintain partnership and
dealing with ex-partners. They can, perhaps during relationship break-ups
or parental separations, acquire important social skills such as empathy
and understanding, They can learn to coach themselves as they
learn to coach others ... and to be coached by them.
Learning Disorders: ADD & ADHD
Learning disorders can delay maturity. Adolescents
with attention deficit disorder often need
3 to 5 more years to mature than their less enmeshed friends and peers. Their
paths to maturity are more likely have speed bumps; and they are more
likely to need assistance moving from school to work.
Coaching &
Learning Disorders
Coaching & Success
Although success has many meanings,
success for
young adults seems to be whatever supports independence or indicates
status. For children a bicycle and a private bedroom are practical symbols of
limited independence. For young adults a cool automobile, an apartment,
cool clothes are important.
As committed partnership and a desire to parent
children becomes stronger, whatever impresses people becomes more
important. Beauty, wealth and power are powerful aphrodisiacs, and a lot of
effort may be expended to have (or to pretend to have) these assets. Young adults seem
especially susceptible to advertising, much of which is targeted at their
pliable
emotions.
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People often borrow money they can't
afford to pay back, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they
don't like. Bank Manager, Fredericton, Canada |
Especially after the birth of children, many
young couples find themselves in debt, with incomes insufficient for their
lifestyle. Some people become depressed, and some partners separate because of
the gap between their finances and their dreams.
Do they go deeper into debt ...
do they budget and live within their means ... or do they try to increase their income?
After so many movies watching rich American teenagers, many young adults are
trapped in get-rich-quick schemes - including those that require illegal
activities such as burglary or selling drugs.
Explore Relationships
Most children over the age of about ten consider their friends
to be extremely important. Most teenagers consider potential boyfriends or
girlfriends to be extremely important. Here are some tools that we use to help
young adults explore relationships:
- Try to
understand each others' viewpoints.
- Reveal and describe your underlying emotions.
- Share feedback calmly, not in heated discussions.
- Recognize complaints, criticism, justifications and blame.
- Separate the content of messages from how they were
communicated.
- Interpret what each other has communicated. Identify what
may be missing or inferred.
- Try to identify your underlying values and find how each
of you benefit from the problem.
- Check if you're more interested in blaming, punishing, or
winning than in communicating.
- Stay with a problem, watch its dynamics and follow the
fears, without trying to change it.
- Note emotionally sensitive topics and habits - no matter
how reasonable they may seem.
Loving relationships are the path and the goal of of love;
and lasting love requires unusual clarity. We help adults find and build bridges across forever - bridges to integrity.
Do you want to dissolve success blocks and relationship issues?
Do you want to build healthy and happy
relationships?
Online
Coaching & Mentorship
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2003-2011 All
rights reserved
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