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Coaching Solutions for Single Parents
Maturity & Responsibility ... Alone © Martyn Carruthers

Be a Better Single Parent


Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer the consequences of childhood abuse? Do you suffer from your parents' drama or your children's demands?
We help single parents untangle their emotions and reclaim their freedom.


Single Parents (continued from Single Parenting)

As a single parent you may have many challenges, including some that you cannot solve. You may lack knowledge or resources for fulfilling parenthood. As a custodial parent, you have the practical problems of parenthood, while as a non-custodial parent, you may suffer from not being with your children.

Healthy parenthood requires intensive effort from both parents. Caring for children, from their physical health, though their schooling to their social behavior, requires intense commitment. Lack of parental support may precede future arrogance, aggression, withdrawal and dysfunctional behavior!

Do you believe that your children create their own reality; do you allow your children to deal with their life challenges without guidance? Do you forget to care, especially during a difficult separation? Do you use your children as bargaining pawns (see parental alienation syndrome).

For whatever reason, some people may be unable or unwilling to care for a child. Perhaps they divorced or perhaps a partner died or left. Perhaps the pregnancy was accidental (although, if you didn't arrange an abortion, you avoid unpleasant consequences of abortion.)

We coach single parents to deal with deep overwhelming emotions and recover inner strength. You can do this in workshops, individual meetings or with telephone support. We present Single Parenting workshops, and we provide single parent coaching and consultations.

Everybody told me to give my children support and love. But I felt miserable about my divorce and almost crazy from guilt about an abortion. During your coaching, I cleaned up my relationship habits - and now I can love and support my children. Innsbruck, Austria

Parent Coaching . Partnership Coaching

Single Parenting

Pregnancy and the birth of children represent an awesome responsibility - and an awesome potential for joyful fulfillment - and an awesome loss of freedom. Your children probably enjoy a more permissive childhood than you did, which can provoke predictable challenges.

Although single parent families and blended families are more common and accepted now, your challenges as a single parent may be very different to your parents' challenges. If you feel overwhelmed - if you don't know how to cope - we offer support. Some basic rules are:

  1. Take care of your children ... and yourself
  2. Balance your time with your children's time
  3. Enjoy a loving relationship with your children
  4. Help your children grow to independent adulthood

Many single parents still care for their ex-partners. If a partner has died, we can help you through the grief. If you have separated, we can help you understand your partnership breakdown, dissolve your entanglements and move on.

Our coaching can help you create wonderful relationships - and solve problems.

Single Parent Coaching

Our single parent coaching helps single parents solve parenting problems. Single parent coaching can recognize and support your individual and your family happiness. Single parent coaching may be best in personal sessions, backed up by telephone or Skype support. We offer you easy access to coaching support and you can enjoy another perspective as you cope with difficult situations.


Single Mothers

A study of nearly 3000 mothers found that single mothers have a 40% higher incidence of depression, with depressive episodes lasting an average of about a year.

If you feel depressed, we recommend that you visit a medical doctor or clinical psychologist. We refer people with signs of depression to appropriate professionals.

The two primary events that may trigger a single mothers' depression are increased stress and decreased support. Yet you may feel that you lack time to reduce your stress and increase your support. We can help you.


Single Fathers

Many men have a "fix and protect" attitude. Men may listen long enough to identify a problem, and then focus on solutions or protection. Children may not want ready-made solutions; they often prefer coaching that helps them protect themselves and solve their own problems.

If you overprotect or over-fix, your children may rebel against you or become dependent on you. You can allow or encourage limited risks that help your children learn confidence as they learn to succeed.


Single Parents

Like most single parents, you are probably creative and resourceful! You have to be. It's love, duty, hard work and often enough, little sleep for single parents. We can help you:

  1. Keep a sense of humor.
  2. Befriend your inner critics.
  3. Forgive yourself and others.
  4. Seek help for any guilt or depression.
  5. Let your children do what they can for themselves.
  6. Avoid clutter and recycle household items. Get your kids involved.
  7. Remember deep breathing, taking mental holidays, enjoying a shower etc
  8. List your stressors. Decide what you can control and focus, first. Learn to let go.
  9. Accept ALL the help you can get - if people offer help, accept! If you need help, ask!


Single Parents & Dating

After your partnership ended, you may feel that you lack time and energy for dating. And, if your children do not want a new parent, they may sabotage your efforts. Also, some charming male predators (often mother's boys) target single mothers for short-term sexual activity.

A few questions ...

  1. Have you healed? A new relationship may be tempting, especially to avoid the pain of a break-up. Give yourself time to heal and to rebuild your life.
  2. Have you family routines? Children enjoy consistency. Family routines can increase security.
  3. Who is most important? Children may resent your new relationship if they feel ignored.
  4. Is there long-term potential? Assess a relationship before you introduce a new person to your children, consider their confusion and sense of security.
  5. Can you go slowly? Perhaps introduce the children to a new potential partner before arranging family activities. A person worth having in your life will understand your need to be careful.
  6. What about sex? Avoid disturbing children with this side of your life.
  7. How can you feel ready for potential friends and partners? We can coach you.

(Continued from Single Parenting)

Be a Better Single Parent

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, All rights reserved 2004-2010


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SOLUTIONS for Emotional and Relationship Problems

Hawaii, USA: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
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46 Albert Road North, Reigate, Surrey RH2 9EL, UK
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: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia

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Good Questions

Good Answers

Training

1. Where are you now? Assess relationship bonds and entanglements Systems 1
2. What are your life goals?  Identify your life goals ... and what blocks you Systems 2
3. How to reach your goals?  Use your conscious and unconscious resources Systems 3
4. What stops you?  Dissolve abuse and trauma to rebuild motivation Systems 4
5. What else stops you? Change your limiting beliefs to end dependence Systems 5
6. What else stops you? Resolve identity loss to recover qualities and skills Systems 6
7. What else stops you? Heal mentor damage and find quality mentorship Systems 7
8. What about your partnership? Build happy partnership (or separate peacefully) Systems 8
9. What about your children? We coach parents to resolve family problems Systems 9
10. What about your success? We coach team leaders and teams ... together Systems 10
11. What about your community? We coach community leaders and communities Systems 11
12. What about complex goals? Specialty coaching & training for unusual goals Specialty

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We help people define and achieve goals, resolve emotional blocks and improve relationships. This information is for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Don't steal ... ask Martyn for permission to post or publish his work.