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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer the consequences of childhood abuse?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your children's demands, your
boss's moods? We can help you untangle
your life and reclaim your freedom.
As a single parent you have many challenges, including some
that you cannot solve. You may lack knowledge or resources for fulfilling your duties. As a custodial parent, you have the practical problems of parenthood,
while as a
non-custodial parent, you may suffer from not being with your children.
Healthy parenthood requires intensive effort from both
parents. Caring for children, from their physical health, though their schooling
to their social behavior, requires intense commitment.
Lack of parental support may precede future arrogance, aggression, withdrawal
and dysfunctional behavior!
Do you believe that your children create their own reality;
do you
allow your children to deal with their life challenges without guidance? Do you forget
to care, especially during a difficult separation? Do you use your children as
bargaining pawns (see parental alienation syndrome).
For whatever reason, you may be unable or unwilling to
care for a child. Perhaps you divorced or perhaps a
partner died. Perhaps the pregnancy was accidental (although, if you didn't arrange
an abortion, you avoid unpleasant
consequences of abortion.)
We coach single parents to deal with deep overwhelming
emotions and recover inner strength. You can do this in workshops, individual meetings
or with telephone support. We present Single Parenting workshops, and we provide
single parent coaching
and telephone consultations.
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Everybody told me to give my
children support and love. But I felt miserable about my
divorce and almost crazy from guilt about an abortion. During your
coaching, I cleaned up my relationship habits - and then I
could love and support my children. KP, Innsbruck, Austria |
Parent Coaching
. Partnership Coaching
Single Parenting
Pregnancy and the birth of children represent an awesome
responsibility - and an awesome potential for joyful fulfillment - and an
awesome loss of freedom. Your children probably enjoy a more permissive
childhood than you did, which can provoke predictable challenges.
Although single
parent families and blended families are more common and accepted than in the
last 500 years, your challenges as a single parent may be very different to
your parents' challenges. If you feel overwhelmed - if you don't know how to
cope - we offer coaching support. Some basic rules are:
- Take care of your children ... and yourself
- Balance your time with your children's time
- Enjoy a loving relationship with your children
- Help your children grow to independent adulthood
Many single parents still care for their ex-partners. If a
partner has died, we can help you through the grief. If you have separated, we
can help you understand your partnership
breakdown, dissolve your entanglements and
move on.
Our systemic coaching can help you create wonderful
relationships - and solve problems.
See Dating, Partnership &
Sexual Compatibility and Dealing with Affairs.
Single Parent Coaching
Our single parent coaching helps single parents solve parenting
problems. Single parent coaching can recognize and support your individual
and your family happiness. Single parent coaching may be best in personal
sessions, backed up by
telephone or Skype support. We offer you easy access to coaching support and you can
enjoy another perspective as you cope with difficult situations.
Single Mothers
A study of nearly 3000 mothers found that single
mothers have a 40% higher incidence of depression,
with depressive episodes lasting an average of about a year.
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If you feel depressed, we recommend that you
visit a medical doctor or clinical psychologist. Please refer people with signs of
depression to appropriate professionals.
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The two primary events that may trigger a single mothers'
depression are increased stress and decreased support. Yet you may
feel that you lack time to reduce your stress and increase your support.
We can help you.
Single Fathers
Many men have a "fix and protect" attitude. Men may
listen long enough to identify a problem, and then focus on solutions or
protection. Children may not want ready-made solutions; they often prefer coaching
that helps them protect themselves and solve their own problems.
If you overprotect or over-fix, your children may rebel
against you or become dependent on you. You can allow or encourage limited risks
that help your children learn confidence as they learn to succeed.
Single Parents
Like most single parents, you are probably creative and
resourceful! You have to be. It's love, duty, hard work and often enough, little sleep
for single parents. We can help you:
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Befriend your inner critics.
- Forgive yourself and others.
- Seek help for any depression.
- Let your children do what they can for themselves.
- Avoid clutter and recycle household items. Get your kids
involved.
- Remember deep breathing, taking mental holidays, enjoying
a shower etc
- Accept ALL the help you can get - if people offer help,
accept. If you need help, ask!
- List your stressors. Decide what you can control and
focus there, first. Learn to let go.
Single Parents & Dating
After a partnership ends, many single parents feel that you lack
time and energy for dating. Further, if your children do not want a new parent,
they may sabotage your efforts. Also, some charming male predators (often
mother's boys) seek single
mothers for short-term sexual activity. A few questions ...
- Have you healed? A new relationship may be tempting,
especially to avoid the pain
of a break-up. Give yourself time to heal and rebuild your life.
- Have you family routines?
Children enjoy consistency. Family routines can increase security.
- Who is most important?
Children may resent your new relationship if they feel ignored.
- Is there long-term potential? Assess
a relationship before you introduce a new person to your
children, consider their confusion and sense of security.
- Can you go slowly? Perhaps introduce the children
to a new potential partner before arranging family activities. A person who is worth
having in your life will understand your need to be careful.
- What about sex? Avoid disturbing children with
this side of your life.
- How can you meet potential friends and
partners? We can coach you.
(Continued from Single
Parenting)
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, All rights
reserved
2004-2010
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