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Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions?
Do you suffer from childhood abuse?
Do you want to untangle from your parents' drama or your partner's demands?
We also mentor helping professionals to work with difficult clients.
Single Parenting (Continued in Single Parents)
Single parenting is sometimes a challenge, accepted with good
intentions (look how strong I am!). Later it may become overwhelming. People
deciding to raise children alone need financial resources, emotional stability
and wisdom to fulfill one's own life and a parental role.
Good intentions are rarely enough. Many single parents lose
themselves in duties and challenges, and often lack parenting skills. They
may need to learn how to make enough money, how to talk with children, how to share
with other parents, how to deal with their own strong emotions.
Many people offer abstract or ineffective advice to
single parents, advice which may be quite useless ... we focus on identifying
and teaching missing skills
- How can you teach a child to love a missing parent?
- How can you end a crisis and come back to normal life?
- How can you feel good about your dead or
missing partner?
- How can you stay joyful, if you cry hours before
the children come home?
- How can you honor the other parent - while you feel
anger, sadness, or indifference?
- How can you act motivated when you lack the energy
to cook a meal or talk to your children?
Solutions for Parents
Answers for these questions are not easy and there
are no foolproof recipes. Each family is unique. Problems need specific,
appropriate solutions. Not all fathers who leave a family are monsters, not all
mothers are the best choice for raising children, and not all coaches offer
systemic solutions.
Sometimes parents seem less mature than their children.
Sometimes good parents of young children cannot cope with teenagers. In our systemic
coaching, we look carefully for long term solutions, which enable parents raise
their children, even if separated from each other. We coach people to find new
shapes of love - between the partners and for the children.
Many parents who leave the family stop expressing love toward
the children because of guilt. Many parents who stay with children feel unable
to express love toward another parent because of anger (I lose my freedom and
you get it back).
Many children cannot express love to a parent who leaves a
family - feeling blocked by the parent who raised them (Mom might be angry if
I feel good about Dad)
| I didn't know how to talk to my
daughter about her father. I felt so angry that I could only criticize
him. After two sessions with you, I could tell her good stories
about her father ... My daughter relaxed a lot. She can now
smile and laugh with her Dad. Thank you! Harlow, Essex |
Children of Single Parents
Some people, after separation or a partner's death, are so
overwhelmed by their emotions that they do not support their children,
especially when their children are quiet.
Your children may distract themselves and say little,
which you may interpret that the children don't understand or don't care about
what's happening. Yet withdrawal often means that the children are in
deep distress, pretending disinterest while hoping for miracles. Few children
can verbally express their feelings about their parents' separation, or about
the absence or death of a parent.
Children need patience and wisdom and
special care when their parents split. Many people ask their parents or
relatives to look after the children for a time, while they sort out their
finances and emotions.
Compare this California report with your
hopes for your children's happiness ...
- 63% of youth suicides are from
fatherless homes
- 85% of all youths in prison are
from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts are from
fatherless homes
- 71% of teenage pregnancies are to
children of single parents
- 75% of children in single-parent
families will experience poverty
- 85% of all children with
behavior disorders are from fatherless homes
- 90% of all homeless and runaway
children are from fatherless homes
- 75% of all adolescents in chemical abuse
centers are from fatherless homes
Divorce Coaching
. Children of Divorce
Regain Normality
First remember who you are ("Who am I when
I stop being a husband or wife?"). We can help you heal
emotional baggage
and deal with any sadness, anger, anxiety and other unpleasant emotions.
If you first recover your strength for supporting your children - then
you can build relationships on your assets.
Do you want single parent coaching or coach training?
Continued in Single Parents
Online Coaching
& Mentorship
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers,
2004-2011 All rights reserved
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