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We offer coaching and training on relationship happiness,
resolving family chaos, and
solving relationship problems.
What is Partnership?
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Martyn's note: 10 March 2010, when I typed
"mature partnership skills" into Google a moment ago, I read: No results
found for "mature partnership skills". What does this say about the
perceived importance of maturity and partnership to helping professionals?
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Whenever I attempt to define partnership, I come up with
different answers, although the following answers seem to remain more or less constant.
- Partnership is a committed relationship to achieve
mutually important goals.
- Partnership requires acceptance, commitment, gratitude
and responsibility.
- Partnership goals can only be achieved by two people
working together.
- Committed partnership implies active engagement
in fulfilling partnership goals.
What do you Want?
I and my colleagues coach partners to enjoy partnership,
which includes letting go of past partners.
As both partners contribute to relationship problems,
both can learn to resolve and prevent relationship problems. We coach
partners to communicate better, set partnership goals and accept responsibilities.
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I really loved him once, although now I can hardly remember why. He
treated me very badly. But I stayed with him ... I couldn't stop caring for the
lost boy in him ... And now, finally, it's over, thank God ... and thank you
for your help! Kailua-Kona, Hawaii |
Our premarital coaching helps people ensure that they
are compatible. Our couple coaching helps current partners understand and love each
other. Do you wish to improve your relationships? We also coach some couples to separate or
divorce peacefully - and prepare for healthier relationships.
As unresolved issues from past partnerships usually
show up in subsequent partnerships, our couple coaching helps people
resolve emotional bonds with past partners. (Sometimes a past partner may be
a parent - Father-Daughter Bonds and
Mother-Son Bonds are common forms of
emotional incest.)
What Happens when it's Over?
Following an intimate partnership, one partner will usually orient
to another potential partner, while the other partner
(even if he or she initiated the breakup) may cling to the old relationship. An
ex-partner who continues to feel love or tries to express love to the other,
often experiences
crisis if and when the other communicates that these expressions of love are not
appropriate nor wanted.
If you are emotionally entangled with a past-partner, you
are probably clinging to what that person represented - not to who that
person was.
Entanglement seems inevitable if your past partner represented success
or stability; or was a substitute for a
parent, a sibling or a previous partner.
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My wife was my world. When we broke up,
I felt that she had stolen my life. She was my friend
and my lover - and she was my mother, my daughter and my
mistress ... since our separation coaching I know I can love a different
woman - differently. Cardiff, Wales |
What are Partnership Goals?
The fulfillment of partnership goals requires relationship
skills - especially friendship skills, team skills.
Partnership skills are required for both successful
parenthood and project management.
Partnership &
Couple Coaching . Partnership Breakdown
What is a Partner?
When in a partnership, you become sensitive to your partner's behavior. You
will notice if your partner keeps his or her promises, supports mutual decisions and brings
resources into the relationship. You will react if your partner abuses,
betrays or abandons you.
Enjoy Partnership . Evaluate
Partnership . Predictable
Partnership
If you partner a person, then that person's actions and
reactions may influence your behavior long after separating.
The behavior of a past partner may inspire you to find
another partner with similar or quite different qualities, or a past
partner may inspire you to avoid other partnerships.
Divorce . Children of
Divorce . Parental Alienation
Substitutes for Partners
Some people prefer an animal substitute for a
partner to the reality of sharing a part of life with another human
being. Common partner-substitutes include pets,
automobiles, houses, televisions, computers, sports and boats. If you want to stay
single - you can maintain these priorities.
Another type of partner-substitute are people who are
not partners. A series of brief affairs, for example, may reduce
your need for committed adult companionship.
Some substitutes for partners are parents, siblings and friends.
Other substitutes could include most addictions.
When Parents partner Children
If a parent loves a child in special ways that can be mistaken for
partnership, a child may enjoy the special attention and
love. Later in life, however, a child may have difficulty finding a
relationship with anyone except a substitute for the
partner-parent - someone who knows the special love. See
emotional incest and single parents.
Parent-bonded adults may sabotage their own attempts
at partnership. This sabotage may motivate common dysfunctional behaviors,
which can be grouped under reclusive
and promiscuous.
Emotions & Past Partners
If an intimate partnership ends because of abuse, betrayal or
abandonment, then the betrayed partner is likely to express
strong emotions (see affairs) and react childishly. The abusive
or betraying partner is likely
to age-regress to some childhood trauma. See
Abusive Relationships
Many people have emotional issues about past partners.
Some are objective - for example an ex-wife wants
more alimony or an ex-husband stalks his ex-spouse. Yet the majority of
past-partner problems concern emotional bonds. See
Self-Sabotage and
Pheromones
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I
felt that he was always around me ... everything reminded me of him.
I would meet friends and feel bad that they were not him.
I tried sleeping with other men - hell I tried everything - but I
couldn't get him off my mind. I thought I was crazy. You
helped me move on. Leeds, UK |
Feeling entangled with a past partner may drain your
energy and sabotage your peace. You may feel desperate, anxious and empty. If
old bonds are still active, contact with an entangled past partner can
re-awaken unresolved emotional pain, and damage any present or future partnership.
Do your thoughts of a past-partner:
- cause you to feel guilty or depressed?
- prevent you enjoying another partnership?
- encompass you, or seem to surround you?
- make you sick with anger, worry or remorse?
Is it time
to end your entanglements to past partners and regain your life? We can help you heal a
past marriage or partnership so that you can better move on towards lasting
happiness.
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2003-2010 All rights reserved.
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