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It's easier for health professionals and most patients to
use drugs as a substitute for change. Self-medication with alcohol or nicotine,
or with anti-depressants and stimulants, are easier than applying intelligence,
focus and analytical skills to complex relationship situations. Drugs seem cheaper
for the patient (in the short term), and more profitable for health professionals.
The consequences of ignoring emotions,
together with the side-effects of many drugs, are unacceptable
to an increasing number of health professionals and their patients.
Inner Child Part 2: Emotional Maturity
Abuse, Trauma & Inner Child
We define trauma as events that cause a person to
dissociate or split off overwhelming emotions. If an event was
deliberately caused by another person - we call it abuse. Abuse and
trauma cause people to split off emotions or hide parts of themselves.
Such a personality part is often called an inner child.
We find that dissociated parts usually maintain the same age
and the same emotions as in the originating event. Traumatic events
usually involve injury, abuse or loss. Did you suffer a serious accident or
life-threatening disease? Do you still experience anxiety, or helplessness,
or perhaps horror? Do you feel disturbed when something reminds you of that
event?
Did you split off and hide some part of yourself? Are you
depressed following a traumatic event or series of events? Do you feel detached or
fragmented or dissociated? Do you have panic or anxiety attacks? Can you
concentrate - or does your attention wander? Do you feel exhausted, yet
you cannot sleep properly? Do you suffer from recurring unpleasant emotions
or violent nightmares? Are you a href="depression.htm">depressed - yet
you do not know why?
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I was afraid of men - I only dated
timid men so that I could feel safe. You helped me explore my fear
- I watched my father hurting my mother when I was six - that six-year old me
seemed frozen - she was still under the kitchen table - we helped her
come out and grow up.
I am now a different woman - I am more me!
Hawaii |
Unresolved emotions from stressful events can cause flashbacks
and nightmares. You may feel emotionally numb or you may experience strong
emotions and mood swings. You may be diagnosed with depression
or chronic anxiety.
We can help you heal the consequences
of war, terrorism, prison, accidents, rape, military service, domestic violence,
childhood abuse or surgery. We can help you heal yourself.
Stress .
Depression .
Insomnia .
Anger Management
The Shadow
You may not remember any abuse or trauma.
You may have strong unpleasant emotions but only remember a minor incident.
Some people call this side of you the shadow. Perhaps you were young
or perhaps the trauma involved important people. We can help you recover the
younger-you that you lost.
If you were abused, or if you witnessed something that
you could not rationalize, then you may have "split off" part
of yourself. We can help you pull yourself together. Sometimes your
maturity will cause relationship problems if other people prefer you to be
immature.
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I married my wife because she loved the
child in me. She wrote letters to the little boy in me who got lost when my
parents broke up. I loved her so much ... but when you
helped him (me) grow up and become whole, my wife left. She can only relax
with needy men and did not want to change ... now she lives with a man who
has bipolar. London, UK |
Your
identity has been shaped in part by your parents, by ethnic or religious
values, by political propaganda and by your education. Your identity may
involve your culture, such as a racial or a minority group. We can help
you accept, acknowledge and fulfill who you are.
Refugee Coaching .
Exit Coaching
Consequences of Trauma - Split-Off Parts
If you experienced stress, trauma or abuse, yet do
not resolve it, you are less likely to stay employed or married, and
you are more likely to feel depressed, anxious or violent. You may
suffer lowered well-being and self-esteem - and you may only relate
to people who also suffered trauma.
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Some Consequences of Split-Off Parts
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- accident prone
- anxiety and hypochondria
- apathy
- chronic or phantom pain
- dangerous relationships
- depression and guilt
- digestive problems
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- dissociation
- hopelessness
- hyperactive
- isolation and withdrawal
- mood swings
- panic attacks
- phobias
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- promiscuity
- self-harm
- sleep disorders
- startles easily
- substance abuse
- volatile emotions
- worthlessness
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If you split off part of yourself during stress, abuse
or trauma, you may feel, act and sound like a hurt child whenever something
reminds you of those events. We can help you recover, nurture and
integrate parts of you stuck in emotions, compulsions and obsessions.
The consequences of abuse can include a sense of helplessness
or inability to make decisions or to act; shame, guilt, self-blame; a sense of
being dirty or defiled; a sense of complete difference from others (may include
feeling special, alone or separated).
Your children may try to carry your burden.
Your depressed sense of life may be perceived as
victim or unable to love. Your helplessness may motivate
your children to protect you as they would protect a wounded child. (This is
often repeated across generations).
The consequences of ignoring unresolved confusion and
fragmentation can include
Toxic Bonds,
Learning Disabilities,
Depression,
Schizophrenia and
Bipolar Disorder in yourself or your children.
Integrate an Inner Child
Many health professionals manage the symptoms associated with
abuse and trauma with medication. But if the underlying identity loss is not
restored, then the symptoms often seem to return in other forms. The resulting adult
dysfunction is most evident in relationships. We offer solutions.
If you have suffered abuse or trauma, you may have
tried to distract yourself with alcohol, drugs, sex or food. We can
help you regain your integrity, rebuild your identity and realign with
your life purpose. You can recover your self-respect
- as you learn to live and love again.
Renewal
Systemic Solutions Overview .
Review by a Medical Doctor .
Coaching with Martyn
We offer systemic solutions for stress, trauma and abuse.
We can help you rebuild your relationship with an inner child as a basis for
integration. Do you want to recover an inner child? Do you want to recover
your integrity? Do you want to move on with your life?
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn
Carruthers 2007-2010 All rights reserved.
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