Emotional Maturity & Responsibility 1
Youth Fades - Immaturity Lingers © Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Do you suffer from immature habits? Are you enmeshed in negative emotions?
Do you want to solve relationship problems and reclaim your freedom?

Emotional Maturity: Part 2 . Emotional Maturity Test

Are you Growing Up - or just Growing Old?

Emotional maturity includes questioning your possibilities,
proving your abilities and challenging your parents' choices.

Many people seem to stop growing up at some age, and some adults often behave like children or teenagers (and in some countries that is normal). A useful question is, "How old do you behave in your relationships?"

Emotionally mature adults solve problems quickly. They cope with children, illness, divorce, parenthood, careers and unemployment. When they need help - they find help fast. To assess emotional maturity, we can ask:

1. Do you accept reality as it is?
2. Do you adapt to changing realities?
3. Do you solve your problems promptly?
4. Do you cope with losses and setbacks?
5. Do you take responsibility for your finances?
6. Do you live realistically, conscious of your mortality?
7. Do you accept your age and continue your development?
8. Do you concern yourself with social problems and solutions?
9. Do you feel good about your successes and enjoy your relationships?
10. Do you stay in integrity, despite temptations, compromises and conflicts?

Youth fades - immaturity lingers. Maturity is not a reward for good children or good students. Maturity isn't part of college graduation or military service.

Most young people have a sense of romance, a precursor of adult wisdom. Romantic idealism may be wonderful for teenagers - wisdom, clarity and wit form a basis for mature decisions. Most children want to play with toys, most teenagers want to have fun and most adults want to live meaningful lives. But some adults don't know how.

My husband acts like a teenager. He walks away unexpectedly, he demands that
I wait on him and he will not help with housework. We are both university professors
but he often acts like a first year student. How can I make him grow up?

Few people deliberately sabotage their own happiness. We find that childhood stress and relationship problems (such as parental alienation or covert incest) can cause disorders that persist into adult life.

Maturity doesn't just happen. We coach people to mature.

Childish adults want toys, games and substitutes for parents. When immature people want help they may act like needy children or helpless victims. Immature people need mature mentorship and self-esteem but seek codependence and instant gratification.

You helped me settle things in my mind. You showed me that change is not
the end of the world. Most people do it. It's called growing up. Mexico

Maturity, more than fun, is a prerequisite for lasting happiness, and we associate it with self-esteem and integrity. Immaturity causes many relationship problems.

Youth Fades - Immaturity Lingers

We bend our theories to fit people - we do not bend people to fit our theories!

Immature behavior often seems to follow childhood abuse or inadequate parenting. Immature people often seem to be stuck at ages corresponding to their trauma. We coach people who want to manage their emotions and grow up.

A sign of maturity is that you can be right without needing to make others wrong.

Mature people can retain many of their youthful strengths. You can retain your capacity for wonder, pleasure and playfulness, your affiliation and curiosity, and your idealism and passion. We can help you recover and integrate these qualities with your adult maturity, wisdom, knowledge and responsibility - with your strength and vision.

Another sign of maturity is that you perceive your parents as ordinary people.

Keys to maturity include self-esteem, clarity and a stable sense of integrity. Then, manage negative emotions and find mentors for living the life you want. We can help you heal stress disorders, emotional problems and fixations.

Martyn, I better understand why my oldest son had such difficult marriages.
He's nearly 40 but he was just a teenager inside ... thank you for working with him.

Are you Emotionally Mature or Emotionally Retarded?

People often hide their feelings and deny their emotions. Many people have only seen immature or emotion-less behavior at home. They may not know what mature behavior and emotional expressions look like.

You can compare a person's emotional control, decision-making and relationship skills with the requirements of that person's relationships. See Emotional Maturity 2

Emotional Maturity: Part 2 . Emotional Maturity Test

Do you cause friends and family to suffer because you behave
in immature ways and you won't get help? Contact us.

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

We sincerely hope you found this page useful. If you know people who could benefit, please
forward this to them. We wish you happy relationships. Visit our Facebook Community

Manage Your Emotions & Solve Relationship Problems Have You Suffered Enough?  Where are you now? Assess your fixations, bonds and enmeshments What do you want? Know your life goals and how you sabotage yourself Do you feel resourceful? Find your lost resources by dreaming together Which emotions block you? End relationship problems and mentor damage Do your beliefs limit you? Change your limiting beliefs and end dependence Do you feel empty? Resolve identity loss to recover your lost resources Is your partnership happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully) Are your children healthy? Happy parents can better manage family problems Do you want team success? Team leaders and top teams can develop together Do you have other goals? Specialty coaching & training

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2013 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people solve emotional problems and relationship issues to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work.