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Our systemic psychology studies human relationship systems (such as families and teams).
We regard people and their environment as systems, rather than as
individual organisms in a disconnected environment. Groups and individuals are
considered as systems in homeostasis.
Human consciousness develops in human systems.
Human consciousness seems to be both general and local - every member has personal
consciousness as a subset of systemic consciousness. Shared consciousness is shown
by participation and cooperation in fulfilling shared goals.
We help people apply systemic psychology to
end emotional blocks and improve relationships
as they fulfill their goals.
Clarify Emotions & Relationships
A useful psychology would help people achieve their life goals,
which usually includes relationship and emotional goals. Do you want a better life?
Do you want better relationships? Do you want emotional freedom? Do you want to
change something? We offer you support, structure, and accountability.
We hold that healthy relationships support healthy lives.
Relationship problems seem to arise as an emergent property of systemic
interactions, although individual members may be blamed. Our couple and family
coaching include improving communication skills to increase cooperation and
manage any desire to criticize or blame.
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Partner 1: My
partner' is a psychopath and made my problems. I am a
victim.
Partner 2: My partner is
paranoid and blames me for whatever happens. I am a victim.
Children: Our parents fight
about us but never ask us what we want. We are victims. |
We help people turn vague dreams into detailed
plans, and take responsibility for their emotions. We offer
structure and support, reality checks and feedback to help people make
decisions and take actions towards shared goals. We motivate and provoke people to
solve whatever stops them moving ahead in their lives.
A systemic coach is part philosopher and
part alchemist; part detective
and part shaman ... and in all parts practical. Martyn
Stopping What Stops You
We often begin systemic coaching with a session
in which we together explore your goals and create an alliance to
help you achieve them. We can help you evaluate your life, focus on
your next steps, move on and maintain momentum. You
determine the agenda for each session. Perhaps you know what
you want, or perhaps you want to explore interesting possibilities ...
Human
relationship systems includes their structures, machines and toys. Martyn
Our Coaching Alliance
We can help you choose how much support you want on
each step toward your goals. You know how you work. You know what may
encourage or sabotage your success. You know what decisions you can make.
Only you can take action and follow through. We can stimulate you,
challenge you, provoke you and support you. We can help you cross your
'finish line'.
Our coaching alliance evolves as we together
discover what works best for you. Some questions
can help design and build our alliance:
- Where you are now ?
- Where you want to be?
- What goals do you want to focus on?
- What will convince you of your success?
- When do you want to start the next step?
- What is the best use of our coaching time?
We do not tell you how your life should have been,
or what you should have done. We help you define your goals and plans. We help you stay on track towards the life
that you want.
A systemic coach helps you enjoy
systemic success - exploring and increasing the adaptability and survival
potential of your
relationship systems such as your family and other organizations. Martyn
Breakthrough
Our sessions may result in a breakthrough for you. More often,
results come as lesser changes in your habits and ways of thinking, until you
plan and take all your own steps. Although mistakes may be the most certain way to
learn, your coach helps you limit mistakes.
Maybe you expect us to give you answers and
magic tips? We help you develop control and responsibility. You know
the rules you have lived by - and we can help you redefine and perhaps
challenge your rules. As you gain clarity about your goals, you gain
clarity about your actions.
Responsibility
A coach helps you evaluate how you are doing, what wastes
time, your evidence for success and your future steps. A coach expects you
to take responsibility for your barriers, and to develop enough flexibility
to pass them. As you express your desires, your coach may request homework.
Coaching homework is negotiable. You might say, "No,
we won't start family meetings, but we'll find ways to have more romantic
moments", and our coaching alliance evolves. If you
accept a task, your coach may hold you accountable for completing your
task, and may nudge you a little. Here's a simple example from couple
coaching.
Coach: Did you enjoy those
romantic moments that were last week's homework?
Client: Partly - we found that we could make intimate times
before the kids
wake up,
and after they go to bed.
Coach: How do those intimate moments affect your partnership?
Client: It was strange ... I felt like a fumbling
teenager!
Coach: Can we check your expectations about partnership and
parenthood? |
Do you wait for some external kick to motivate you to
take action? By agreeing to be accountable, we can set up expectations,
deadlines, reality checks and feedback loops. And we will not avoid
truth, even if the truth is not comfortable.
We can help you
evaluate your current situation, the consequences of your past actions, your
future goals ... and choose the most appropriate steps you can take.
Instead of
offering endless advice, we may explore, "How do you want to
do that?" or "What's your next step?" Over time,
you will find that you have the best answers to these questions. You will
find that you know what choices you want to make and what actions
you want to take. We generally avoid giving advice -
we prefer to help people find, develop and use their own wisdom.
Unrequested advice
is often called criticism. Martyn
Systemic Solutions & Goalwork
We always begin with goalwork. Defining your goals helps you
plan your steps and reality tests. Specifying goals also helps you identify your
objections, conflicts and limiting beliefs.
Exploring objections, conflicts and beliefs are important
aspects of systemic coaching.
This is part of our systemic diagnosis, as many objections, conflicts and beliefs
represent emotional baggage from previous relationship issues that we can resolve.
A desire to help you can get in your way. Do you
let someone prescribe techniques for you? Do you let people solve your
problems for you? You advance fastest when you choose your own solutions.
Many helping professionals obsess about poorly
understood techniques.
We coach people to define goals, consider consequences and dissolve problems!
We can take you beyond procedures, techniques and clearing. We can help
you turn your life around, manage your emotions and improve
your relationships. We can help you get what you want.
Online Coaching
& Mentorship
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2011
All rights reserved
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