Do you want to overcome success blocks and build relationships with love and passion? We coach people to build lives that make sense. A sense-full life seems to require access to a stable resource state - an ongoing sense of life and integrity that can be experienced in any life context.

Sense of Life - Soul and Integrity

As we developed the basis for what we later called Soulwork systemic coaching, we sought effective ways to help people evaluate their relationship goals; dissolve conflicts, objections and limiting beliefs and experience a sense of self or sense of life that we call integrity ... or connectedness ... or Soul.

As we coached people towards developing a meaningful life, we found that if we help motivated adults clarify six or seven key relationships, then the resulting sense of life or integrity need not diminish over time (like fun or motivation) nor depend on the behavior of other people.

Once accessed and stabilized, this experience of integrity can inspire people to improve their lives, to resolve past abuses and to fulfill life goals. Yet this experience is not an altered or dissociated state (as provided by drugs or hypnosis). During this experience, people describe being intensely present and sensitive to their feelings, environment and relationships.

When people describe this experience, they expose their emotional maturity - they interpret their experience through their beliefs. They may use esoteric words such as "Spirit talks through me"; religious descriptions e.g. "I am within Christ"; or abstract metaphors such as “I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean” or “I am a child of the universe”. (People who have experienced Soul usually agree, while people who have not may try to interpret such words literally or analytically).

Have you experienced integrity?
Other descriptions of integrity are at: Psychobiology of Soul and Chaos Coaching.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integrity

The Soul of Soulwork refers to an experience, not to a theory, dogma, philosophy or personality. You may call this experience “the real you” or “your true self” - although not egotistically. We offer ways that motivated adults* can access and stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of everyday life.

(*Motivated adults is unlikely to include children, immature adults, people suffering severe brain damage, dementia or psychosis, addicts, dedicated cult members, or people suffering identity loss, in our experience, until they resolve these issues.)

Soul as a Stable Experience of Connectedness

Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness. People describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to all humans, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the whole is me". We help people sort through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences and altered states to find integrity.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integration

People often act as if they are fragmented. They may say “I don’t like the part of me that...” or "Part of me wants to - but part of me doesn't". We help people integrate these "identity fragments" or "personality parts" to recreate the identity that existed before fragmentation. And we help people to acknowledge and integrate the wisdom from which parts were created and maintained.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Identity

During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and choose how to maintain relationships that support sense of life. "Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made with integrity.

Soul experience can guide Meaningful Life

People may describe Soul as “the true me” or my highest potential. Some people visualize a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.

The experience we call Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to integrity for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions. Integrity can become a compass during difficult decisions.

Soul experience can evaluate Relationships

Many people connect to family members with entangled and often toxic beliefs or bonds. These bonds represent conditions for relationships, although people often avoid recognizing their bonds (we often call them taboo bonds or thoughtforms). People can better evaluate their relationship bonds from integrity, and gain freedom from strong, unpleasant emotions, enmeshments and unwanted habits.

Soul experience can evaluate Life Events

We help people enjoy lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter how apparently toxic, can become a valuable learning opportunity. You can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of your goals.

If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling human life.

What Soul is not ...

The experience of integrity that we call Soul has little in common with psychological, metaphysical or philosophical theories. In the context of our coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... including music, food and esoteric entities ...

Soul experience is not a philosophical concept

We do not persuade people to accept some theory or philosophy. The experience of integrity seems to be only available to responsible adults who have not lost access to identity through brain damage, cult membership or trauma. Living with integrity is always a choice - we cannot push people to choose wisely (although we may point out the consequences of ignorance).

Soul experience is not a personality part

Soul is closer to that which connects or underlies ego-states or parts, and to a “connectedness” that is neither you nor another person or thing. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance if you and another person choose to love (respect, honor, accept etc) yourselves and each other.

Integrity may be described as a multi-dimensional experience of connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and your experience of being connected.

Soul experience is not inner dialogue (self talk)

The basic functions of inner dialog (self talk) seem to be to learn from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or even psychosis. When in Soul experience, people often say, “It’s quiet inside me!” or "The world has stopped!" (This is a goal of many transcendental meditations and Eastern philosophies.)

Soul experience is not a desire

You may have desires related to survival, family, power, success or community. You may have desires that you are afraid to fulfill because, "There would be nothing left to life for!". We can help you find “ultimate” desires, which you may describe as, “This is how I want to live my life!"

Soul experience is not ego

Ego can often be likened to an adolescent personality part, dissociated from identity. Soul might be described as the ego of the ego - a raw experience of life before educational filters and cultural traditions. Integrity may also be described as anti-ego - when in Soul experience, consciousness can be seen as a perceptual viewpoint that can move between members of human (or other) systems.