|
Do you want to overcome success blocks and build relationships
with love and passion? We coach people to build lives that make sense. A sense-full
life seems to require access to a stable resource state - an ongoing sense of life
and integrity that can be experienced in any life context.
Sense of Life - Soul and Integrity
As I developed the basis for what I later called Soulwork systemic
coaching, I sought effective ways to help people end self-sabotage
and define their goals. This may sound simple, but it requires
that we work together to dissolve inner conflicts, emotional blocks,
unconscious objections, relationship issues and deep limiting beliefs;
as steps to experience a sense of life
that we call integrity ... or Soul.
I sought ways to help people develop more meaningful lives, and
ways to train other people to do the same. Together, we found that if
motivated adults can clarify some key relationships, then the
resulting sense of life or integrity need not diminish
over time (like fun or motivation)
nor depend on the behavior of other people.
This experience of integrity, once accessed and stabilized, can inspire
people to improve their lives, to resolve past disappointments
and to fulfill important goals. Yet this experience of integrity is not an
altered or dissociated state (as provided by drugs or hypnosis). During this
experience, people describe being intensely present and sensitive to their
feelings, environment and relationships, and to a deep need of "How can I
fulfill my life?"
When people describe this experience, they expose their emotional
maturity - they interpret their experience through their beliefs.
They may use esoteric words such as "Spirit talks through
me"; religious descriptions e.g. "I am within
Christ"; or abstract metaphors such as I am a drop of
water in an infinite ocean or I am a child of the universe.
(People who have already experienced Soul usually agree, while people
who have not may try to interpret such words literally or analytically).
This experience is not easy to describe, and really hard to define .... and
totally obvious once you have experienced it yourself.
Have you experienced integrity?
See my descriptions of integrity at:
Psychobiology of Soul and
Chaos Coaching.
Soul as a Stable Experience of Integrity
The Soul of Soulwork refers to a stable experience, not to
a theory, dogma, philosophy or personality or altered state. You may call
this experience the real you or your true self - although
not egotistically. We offer ways that motivated adults* can
access and stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of everyday life.
(* In my experience, motivated adults is
unlikely to include children, immature adults, people suffering
severe brain damage, dementia or psychosis, addicts, dedicated
cult members, or people suffering identity loss, until they
resolve these issues.)
Soul as a Stable Experience of Connectedness
Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness. People
describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to
all people, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may
say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the
whole is me". We help people sort through the many varieties of
ecstatic experiences and altered states to find integrity.
Soul as a Stable Experience of Integration
People often act as if they are fragmented. They may say I dont like
the part of me that... or "Part of me wants to - but part of
me doesn't". We help people integrate these "identity
fragments" or "personality parts" to recreate the identity that
existed before fragmentation. And we help people to acknowledge and integrate
the wisdom from which these personality parts were created and maintained.
Soul as a Stable Experience of Identity
During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and
choose how to maintain relationships that support their sense of life.
"Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships.
Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made with integrity.
Soul experience can guide Meaningful Life
People may describe Soul as the true me or my highest potential.
Some people visualize a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of
conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those
called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.
The experience we call Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of
connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static
transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to
integrity for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions.
Integrity can become a compass during difficult or complex decisions.
Soul experience can evaluate Relationships
Many people feel connected to family members by limiting beliefs and
bonds. These beliefs and bonds often represent conditions for
relationships (e.g. "I can only stay with you if I feel too
stupid to leave"), although people often avoid recognizing
their bonds to important people (we often call these taboo bonds).
We help people evaluate and change their beliefs and bonds, and gain
freedom from strong, unpleasant emotions, enmeshments and unwanted habits.
Soul experience can evaluate Life Events
We help people enjoy lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter
how apparently toxic or abusive, can become a valuable learning opportunity.
People can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use past unpleasant
experiences to motivate the fulfillment of important goals.
Soul experience can guide Life Fulfillment
If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that
each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that
goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling human life.
|
Integrity, the Soul of Soulwork, is available as
an experience of connectedness and compassion that can help people make make
important decisions and fulfill life. Integrity provides a basis for
love without sympathy - not even sympathy for self. |
The experience of integrity that we call Soul has little in
common with psychological, metaphysical or philosophical theories.
In the context of our coaching; there are some things that Soul is
not ... including music, food and esoteric entities ...
Soul experience is not a philosophical concept
We do not persuade people to accept some theory or
philosophy. The experience of integrity seems to be only available to
responsible adults who have not lost access to their own identity through brain damage,
cult membership or trauma.
Living with integrity is always a choice - we cannot push people to choose
wisely (although we may point out the consequences of ignorance).
Soul experience is not a personality part
Soul is closer to that which connects or underlies ego-states
or parts, and to a connectedness that is neither you nor
another person or thing. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance
if you and another person choose to love (respect, honor, accept etc)
yourselves and each other.
Integrity may be described as a multi-dimensional experience of
connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness
- and your experience of being connected.
Soul experience is not an emotional state
If you accept your emotions as representations or symbols
of your inner personality parts and of your outer relationships, you need
not judge feelings as bad or negative. Rather you can recognize
that ignoring unpleasant emotions may result in unwanted behavior (e.g. alcohol,
substance abuse and physical abuse). Accepting emotions as valid communications
is a step towards Soul.
Soul experience is not inner dialogue (self talk)
The basic functions of inner dialog (self talk) seem to be to learn from
the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner
dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or
even psychosis. When in Soul experience, people often say, Its
quiet inside me! or "The world has stopped!" (This
is a goal of many transcendental meditations and Eastern philosophies.)
Soul experience is not a desire
You may have desires related to survival, family, power, success or
community. You may have desires that you are afraid to fulfill because, "There
would be nothing left to life for!". We can help you find
ultimate desires, which you may describe as, This is how I want to live
my life!"
Soul experience is not ego
I often liken ego to an adolescent personality part,
dissociated from identity. Soul might be described as the ego of
the ego - a raw experience of life before the raw experience is filtered
through the self-talk of family traditions. educational ideas and cultural norms. Integrity
may also be described as anti-ego ... when experiencing Soul, consciousness
is often described as a perceptual viewpoint that can move between members
of human (or planetary) systems.
Soul is not physical reality
A ruin, a mountain scene, a country garden or a home may
be places where you can look at the world with a sense of magic and mystery,
and perhaps better access a sense of self-in-life that we call Soul.
During the experience that we call integrity or Soul,
many people have told us that they can examine their lives and relationships with
intense passion and utter neutrality.
Or they may simply say, I am awake or
"I am back" or "I am here, now".
Click HERE for help
experiencing Soul
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. |