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Sense of Life - Soul and Systemic Coaching

Our goal is to provide ways that people can help each other enjoy lives that make sense. This seems to require that we can access a stable resource state - an ongoing sense of life that can be experienced in any life context without diminishing or becoming depleted. We looked for a long time.

As we developed Soulwork systemic coaching, we found ways to access and stabilize important life resources by helping people have good relationships. The sense of being that accompanies excellent relationships (even with problematic or difficult people) need not diminish over time (like fun or motivation) ... need not depend on others ... and can be experienced in any life context.

We coach people to evaluate their relationships and goals; and dissolve conflicts, objections and limiting beliefs until people find the stable experience we call integrity ... or connectedness ... or Soul.

Once accessed and stabilized, this experience of a sense-full life can be applied to clarify complex relationships, to review past abuse and trauma and to plan future goals, no matter how complex.

This experience is not an altered or dissociated state (as provided by drugs or hypnosis). People describe being intensely present and sensitive to their environment, relationships and intentions.

Many people describe Soul experience using abstract metaphors. “I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean” or “I am a child of the universe”. People who have experienced Soul may quickly agree, while people who have not may try to interpret such metaphors literally or analytically.

See descriptions of this stable resource at: Psychobiology of Soul and Chaos Coaching.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integrity

Soul refers to an experience, not to a theory, dogma, philosophy or personality. You may call this experience “the real you” or “your true self” - although not egotistically. Soulwork provides ways to stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of your everyday life.

During our systemic coaching, a first experience of Soul may be delightfully shocking. People are at a loss to describe it, except perhaps in abstract metaphors. A next step is to stabilize Soul experience so that it can be experienced at will, independent of a coach or anyone else.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Connectedness

Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness. People describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to all humans, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the whole is me". Soulwork helps people sort through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences to find integrity.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integration

People may act as if they are fragmented. They may say “I don’t like the part of me that...” or "Part of me wants to - but part of me doesn't". Soulwork can help people integrate these "identity fragments" or "personality parts" to recreate the identity that existed before fragmentation. With Soulwork, people can acknowledge and integrate the wisdom from which "parts" were created and maintained.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Identity

During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and choose how to maintain relationships that support sense of life. "Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made from Soul.

Soul experience can guide Meaningful Life

People may describe Soul as “the true me” or my highest potential. Some people visualize a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.

The experience called Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to Soul experience for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions.

Soul experience can evaluate Relationships

Many people connect to other family members with toxic relationship bonds. These bonds represent conditions for relationships, although people often avoid recognizing their bonds (we often call them taboo bonds or thoughtforms). People can evaluate relationship bonds from Soul, and gain freedom from strong, unpleasant emotions and unwanted habits.

Soul experience can evaluate Experiences

Soulwork helps people live lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter how apparently toxic, can become a valuable learning opportunity. You can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of your goals.

If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling a human life.

What Soul is not ...

The experience of integrity that we call the Soul of Soulwork has little in common with psychological theories, metaphysics or philosophical discussions. The Soul of Soulwork is a stable experience of integrity, integration and connection that can be used to guide life decisions towards lasting happiness.

However, the word Soul can be used in many ways. In the context of our systemic coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... (including music, food and winged entities).

Soul experience is not a philosophical construct

We have no interest or desire to persuade you to accept some theory or philosophy. The experience of integrity seems to be readily available to responsible adults who have not lost identity following brain damage or trauma. Living with integrity is always you choice - you cannot be pushed into integrity.

Soul experience is not a personality part

Soul seems closer to that which connects your parts, and connects you to other people. This “connectedness” is neither you nor another. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance when you and another person accept or love each other unconditionally.

Integrity may be described as a multi-dimensional experience of connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and your experience of being connected.

Soul experience is not inner dialogue

The basic functions of inner dialog seem to be to learn from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or even psychosis. In Soul experience, people often say, “It’s quiet inside me!” or "The world has stopped!" (This is a goal of many transcendental meditations and philosophies.)

Soul experience is not a desire

You may have desires related to survival, family, power, success or community. You may have desires that you are afraid to fulfill - because, "There would be nothing left to life for!". Soulwork Coaching can help you find “ultimate” desires, which you may describe as, “This is how I want to fulfill my life!"

Soul experience is not ego

“Ego” can be likened to an adolescent personality, dissociated from identity. Soul might be described as an ego of the ego - an experience of life before education and cultural traditions. Soul can also be described as anti-ego, in Soul experience human consciousness seems to be experienced as a perceptual viewpoint that can move between members of human (or other) systems.