Do you want to overcome success blocks and build relationships with love and passion? We coach people to build lives that make sense. A sense-full life seems to require access to a stable resource state - an ongoing sense of life and integrity that can be experienced in any life context.

Sense of Life - Soul and Integrity

As I developed the basis for what I later called Soulwork systemic coaching, I sought effective ways to help people end self-sabotage and define their goals. This may sound simple, but it requires that we work together to dissolve inner conflicts, emotional blocks, unconscious objections, relationship issues and deep limiting beliefs; as steps to experience a sense of life that we call integrity ... or Soul.

I sought ways to help people develop more meaningful lives, and ways to train other people to do the same. Together, we found that if motivated adults can clarify some key relationships, then the resulting sense of life or integrity need not diminish over time (like fun or motivation) nor depend on the behavior of other people.

This experience of integrity, once accessed and stabilized, can inspire people to improve their lives, to resolve past disappointments and to fulfill important goals. Yet this experience of integrity is not an altered or dissociated state (as provided by drugs or hypnosis). During this experience, people describe being intensely present and sensitive to their feelings, environment and relationships, and to a deep need of "How can I fulfill my life?"

When people describe this experience, they expose their emotional maturity - they interpret their experience through their beliefs. They may use esoteric words such as "Spirit talks through me"; religious descriptions e.g. "I am within Christ"; or abstract metaphors such as “I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean” or “I am a child of the universe”. (People who have already experienced Soul usually agree, while people who have not may try to interpret such words literally or analytically).

This experience is not easy to describe, and really hard to define .... and totally obvious once you have experienced it yourself.

Have you experienced integrity?
See my descriptions of integrity at: Psychobiology of Soul and Chaos Coaching.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integrity

The Soul of Soulwork refers to a stable experience, not to a theory, dogma, philosophy or personality or altered state. You may call this experience “the real you” or “your true self” - although not egotistically. We offer ways that motivated adults* can access and stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of everyday life.

(* In my experience, motivated adults is unlikely to include children, immature adults, people suffering severe brain damage, dementia or psychosis, addicts, dedicated cult members, or people suffering identity loss, until they resolve these issues.)

Soul as a Stable Experience of Connectedness

Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness. People describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to all people, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the whole is me". We help people sort through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences and altered states to find integrity.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Integration

People often act as if they are fragmented. They may say “I don’t like the part of me that...” or "Part of me wants to - but part of me doesn't". We help people integrate these "identity fragments" or "personality parts" to recreate the identity that existed before fragmentation. And we help people to acknowledge and integrate the wisdom from which these  personality parts were created and maintained.

Soul as a Stable Experience of Identity

During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and choose how to maintain relationships that support their sense of life. "Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made with integrity.

Soul experience can guide Meaningful Life

People may describe Soul as “the true me” or my highest potential. Some people visualize a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.

The experience we call Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to integrity for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions. Integrity can become a compass during difficult or complex decisions.

Soul experience can evaluate Relationships

Many people feel connected to family members by limiting beliefs and bonds. These beliefs and bonds often represent conditions for relationships (e.g. "I can only stay with you if I feel too stupid to leave"), although people often avoid recognizing their bonds to important people (we often call these taboo bonds). We help people evaluate and change their beliefs and bonds, and gain freedom from strong, unpleasant emotions, enmeshments and unwanted habits.

Soul experience can evaluate Life Events

We help people enjoy lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter how apparently toxic or abusive, can become a valuable learning opportunity. People can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use past unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of important goals.

If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling human life.

What Soul is not ...

The experience of integrity that we call Soul has little in common with psychological, metaphysical or philosophical theories. In the context of our coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... including music, food and esoteric entities ...

Soul experience is not a philosophical concept

We do not persuade people to accept some theory or philosophy. The experience of integrity seems to be only available to responsible adults who have not lost access to their own identity through brain damage, cult membership or trauma. Living with integrity is always a choice - we cannot push people to choose wisely (although we may point out the consequences of ignorance).

Soul experience is not a personality part

Soul is closer to that which connects or underlies ego-states or parts, and to a connectedness that is neither you nor another person or thing. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance if you and another person choose to love (respect, honor, accept etc) yourselves and each other.

Integrity may be described as a multi-dimensional experience of connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and your experience of being connected.

Soul experience is not inner dialogue (self talk)

The basic functions of inner dialog (self talk) seem to be to learn from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or even psychosis. When in Soul experience, people often say, “It’s quiet inside me!” or "The world has stopped!" (This is a goal of many transcendental meditations and Eastern philosophies.)

Soul experience is not a desire

You may have desires related to survival, family, power, success or community. You may have desires that you are afraid to fulfill because, "There would be nothing left to life for!". We can help you find “ultimate” desires, which you may describe as, “This is how I want to live my life!"

Soul experience is not ego

I often liken ego to an adolescent personality part, dissociated from identity. Soul might be described as the ego of the ego - a raw experience of life before the raw experience is filtered through the self-talk of family traditions. educational ideas and cultural norms. Integrity may also be described as anti-ego ... when experiencing Soul, consciousness is often described as a perceptual viewpoint that can move between members of human (or planetary) systems.

During the experience that we call integrity or Soul, many people have told us that they can examine their lives and relationships with intense passion and utter neutrality. Or they may simply say, “I am awake” or "I am back" or "I am here, now".

Click HERE for help experiencing Soul