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Systemic Solutions for Sexual Health
© Martyn Carruthers

Would you like to benefit from our experience?

We offer coaching and training on relationship happiness,
resolving family chaos and sorting out many issues of sexuality.

Sex & Motivation
Human motivation and creativity profoundly reflect human sexuality. We help people become emotionally mature, find healthy partners, become good parents, protect children and assist children to become independent. We also coach adults to unblock their sexuality.

As sexuality reaches almost every part of life, any issue connected to sexuality will likely generate emotional and political controversy. Also, while pornography and masturbation are often called victimless crimes, we find that the victims of pornography are the partners and future children of sex addicts; the children who will find themselves burdened with sexual blocks.

Repression predates Obsession
After millennia of sexual repression, many people are obsessed with sex, and express sexual behavior chaotically. For us, deviant sexual obsessions include urges to control the sexual expressions of other people. Megalomaniacs know that if you can control people's sexual behavior - you control them utterly.

Sex is often a forbidden obsession. Murder, robbery, pollution, corruption and wasted resources are acceptable themes for TV and cinema for young audiences, while some people obsessively strive to censor and control expressions of human sexuality.

The hypocrisy can be stunning. An exposed female breast during a football game can outrage a nation that supplies most of the world's pornography, a nation in which carrying guns is legal and where murder is acceptable children's television viewing.

In emotional climates in which children cannot discuss and assimilate thoughts, emotions and motivations about sex, those children may have to deal with obsessions during and following adolescence. The possibility of delayed sexual dysfunction is high for children who have been taught to associate sexual thoughts or behavior with dirtiness, guilt, punishment or disgrace.

Stress Disorders . Divorce and Children . Parent Alienation

Systemic Solutions
Sexual pleasure is now or will likely become a topic of importance to you and to those with whom you share significant relationships. The quality of your sexual relationships has great impact on your self-image and on your partnership. Any physical, psychological or emotional changes affect your relationships. Issues of sexuality can be addressed and resolved during the short and long-term.

Our relationship coaching can include the expression of sexuality in the following general forms:

  1. Sexual Happiness
  2. Sexual Harassment by Health Professionals
  3. Sexual Dysfunction: Impotence and Frigidity
  4. Sexual Abuse
  5. Solutions for Sexual Abuse
  6. Sexual health issues are also described at Sexual Solutions.

We support and encourage people to achieve goals and resolve problems. We can provide coaching, exercises, homework to assist people through difficult situations. We also offer pre-abortion and post-abortion coaching to help people avoid the unpleasant consequences of abortion.

Relationship Diagnosis & Sexual Addictions
Relationship diagnosis is important for resolving sexual addictions. Many sexual issues involve obsessions - often to childhood fantasies about parents and family members, about unrequited love and about past-partners.

Many adults cling to fantasies from adolescence or early adulthood ... we find that such fantasies can damage later intimate relationships. We can coach people to dissolve old fantasies and refocus on their current or potential sexual partners.

I am 64 and I have never married. You asked me if I was ever in love, and I told you about my teenage romance. You asked me if I had ever let go of that girl - and no - I never did. I have always felt her in my arms - always beautiful - always wanting to ... play. I was shocked to realize that holding on to her stopped me being intimate with a real woman. Chicago, USA

We identify if a person is in crisis, and then make a relationship diagnosis. We address issues of guilt, mentor damage and conflicts, as we help people define goals with integrity. We coach people to resolve relationship bonds and emotional trauma, resolve old fantasies, and provide mentorship.

What is Sex Addiction?
Sexual addiction can include many activities: excessive masturbation, internet pornography, using prostitutes, voyeurism, exhibitionism, multiple sexual affairs, serial relationships, and other sexual behavior. Casual behavior becomes an addiction if you repeat the activity without control, even when you suffer unpleasant consequences.

Do you use sexuality as an escape from boredom or as a way to feel good? Sex can become an attempt to compensate for pain and feeling unworthy. Over time, sexual behavior may show the damaging consequences of addiction: preoccupation, compulsive behavior, despair and depression.

Are you a Sex Addict?
Has your work, education or relationships suffered because of your sexual fantasies or activities? Do you live a double life? Some signs are:

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual life from people you love?
  2. Do you feel compelled to have sex repeatedly in a short time frame?
  3. Does your need for sex cause you to visit places you would prefer to avoid?
  4. Do your sexual practices harm your happiness, social life, or sense of reality?
  5. Are you unable to stop your sexual behavior despite unpleasant consequences?
  6. Do you spend inordinate time obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sex?
  7. Do you want to get away from a sex partner after sex? Do you feel shame or guilt?

We help people change destructive sexual urges and find healthy ways to enjoy life. We help people change sexual compulsions and addictions - rapidly and usually with humor.

Sexual Harassment at Work
Sexuality in the workplace is a very touchy subject, and the number of lawsuits concerning sexual harassment are continually increasing.

We often offer Team Coaching at a retreat where a team can be together with minimal disturbances, or at the workplace. It is often cost-effective to invite a Soulwork Trainer to join an annual meeting or conference. We can offer a package of short workshops, team coaching and individual coaching sessions, usually over 2-5 days, often with a follow-up day after about 4-6 weeks.

Lesbians, Bisexual and Gay
Some women strive to fulfill their emotional needs and sexual desires through other women. Many women seek non-sexual intimate relationships with other women. And some women do not act upon their desires, yet fantasize lesbian activity.

I taught a few psychology classes at U of Nevada in Las Vegas. While there, I met people with sexual preferences that I had heard of ... and some that I had never heard of. Overall, I met some fascinating people, and it takes a lot more to surprise me now. Martyn

Some men seek other men for sexual pleasure. Whether this started as a search for a substitute for father or for an aborted brother or to avoid dark associations with mother, homosexual men are increasingly coming out of the closet, which may distress people who uphold certain religious dogma.

We have not met homosexual people who wanted to change their sexual orientation to heterosexual. These people often seek a sense of wholeness within real or imagined relationships with other people of the same sex. Human couples have predictable problems, not matter their sexual orientation ... we can provide both individual and couple coaching for gay and lesbian couples.

While few people want to change their sexual orientation, we can help women redefine and fulfill their relationship goals with their mothers, sisters, daughters etc - and with other women.

Couple Coaching
We offer individual and couple coaching where we delicately coach people to dissolve emotional, relationship and sexual problems. We don't give advice on your sexual choices with consenting adults - presuming that you do not hurt children - rather we can coach you to resolve emotional blocks and relationship issues.

Each stage of sexual arousal may be sabotaged - internally or externally. The stages of sexual response typically follow a period of flirtation and romantic preparedness. Without a period or romantic verbal foreplay, any sexual foreplay may be rebuffed - or sex may become businesslike, without romance and intimacy - which some people prefer.

You need not be alone as you ponder your way through a sexual labyrinth. Sex is not bad, wrong or disgusting - it's an essential part of human relationships that has been terribly distorted for centuries. When you have suffered enough, we can help you find emotional maturity at the end of your maze.

Enjoying Partnership . Evaluating Partnership . Predictable Partnership

Consult your physician about any opinions or recommendations concerning sexual health, medical symptoms or medical conditions.

We can help most motivated adults, from a teenager addicted to sex; a working mother who cares for a disabled parent; a single parent who copes with an ADD child; a college student who struggles with anorexia; a young adult who suffers from mental illness; a partner who mourns the death of a spouse; a family that seeks to solve conflict; and couples who want to improve their partnerships.

Would you like to benefit from our experience?

Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved



 

Space to Rent

 

 
Would you like to benefit from our experience?

America: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia
Email us at

Workshop

Systemic Coach Training

Systems 1 How to evaluate relationships and recognize common entanglements
Systems 2 How to define life goals, and identify blocks, objections & conflicts
Systems 3 How to continue goalwork using interactive metaphors and Dreamwork
Systems 4 How to dissolve the consequences of abuse and trauma and rebuild motivation
Systems 5 How to change limiting beliefs and codependence for emotional freedom
Systems 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systems 7 How to heal therapist or spiritual damage and provide inspirational mentorship
Systems 8 How to coach partners to build lasting happiness (and to separate peacefully)
Systems 9 How to coach parents to resolve family problems
Systems 10 How to coach team leaders and teams ... together
Systems 11 How to coach community leaders and communities
Specialty Advanced workshops and specialty training tailored to your goals

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We coach and train people to define and achieve goals, to resolve emotional blocks and to improve relationships. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. You must get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.