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Systemic Solutions for Sexual Health
© Martyn Carruthers

Click HERE to make an appointment!

We offer coaching and training on relationship happiness,
resolving family chaos and sorting out many issues of sexuality.

Sex & Motivation
Human motivation and creativity profoundly reflect human sexuality. We help people become emotionally mature, find healthy partners, become good parents, protect children and assist children to become independent. We also coach adults to unblock their creativity and sexuality.

As sexuality reaches almost every part of life, any issue connected to sexuality will likely generate emotional and political controversy. Also, while pornography and masturbation are often called victimless crimes, we find that the victims of pornography are the partners and future children of sex addicts; the wives and children who will later find themselves burdened with sexual blocks.

Repression predates Obsession
After millennia of sexual repression, many people are obsessed with sex, and express sexual behavior chaotically. For us, sexual obsessions include attempts to control the sexual expressions of other people. People who can control your sexual behavior - can control your life.

Sex is often a forbidden obsession. Murder, robbery, pollution, corruption and wasted essential resources are common themes for TV and cinema for young audiences, while some people obsessively strive to censor and control expressions of human sexuality.

The hypocrisy can be stunning. An exposed female breast during a football game can outrage a nation that supplies most of the world's pornography ... a nation in which carrying guns is legal and where murder is acceptable children's television viewing.

In emotional climates in which children cannot discuss and assimilate thoughts, emotions and motivations about sex, those children may have to deal with obsessions during and following adolescence. The possibility of delayed sexual dysfunction is high for children who have been taught to associate sexual thoughts or behavior with dirtiness, guilt, punishment or disgrace.

Systemic Solutions
Sexual pleasure is or will become an important topic to you and to those people with whom you share significant relationships. The quality of your sexual relationships has great impact on your self-image and on your family. Any physical, psychological or emotional changes affect your relationships.

Our relationship coaching can include:

  1. Sexual Abuse
  2. Solutions for Sexual Abuse
  3. Sexual Harassment by Health Professionals
  4. Sexual Dysfunction: Impotence and Frigidity
  5. Sexual health issues are also described at Sexual Solutions.

We support and encourage people to achieve goals and resolve problems. We can provide coaching, exercises, homework to assist people through difficult situations. We also offer pre-abortion and post-abortion coaching to help people avoid the unpleasant consequences of abortion.

Relationship Diagnosis & Sexual Addictions
Relationship diagnosis is important for resolving sexual addictions. Many sexual issues involve obsessions - often to childhood fantasies about parents and family members, about unrequited love and about past-partners.

Many adults cling to fantasies from adolescence or early adulthood ... we find that such fantasies can damage later intimate relationships. We can coach people to dissolve old fantasies and refocus on their current or potential sexual partners.

I am 64 and never married. You asked me if I was ever in love, and I told you about my teenage romance. You asked me if I had ever let go of that girl - and no - I never did. I have always felt her in my arms - always beautiful - always wanting to ... play. I was shocked to realize that holding on to her memory stopped me being intimate with real women. Chicago, USA

We identify if a person is in crisis, and then make a relationship diagnosis. We address issues of guilt, mentor damage and conflicts, as we help people define goals with integrity. We coach people to resolve relationship bonds and emotional trauma, resolve old fantasies, and provide mentorship.

What is Sex Addiction?
Sexual addiction can include many activities: excessive masturbation, internet pornography, using prostitutes, voyeurism, exhibitionism, multiple sexual affairs, serial relationships, and other sexual behavior. Casual behavior becomes an addiction if you repeat the activity without control, even when you suffer unpleasant consequences.

Do you use sexuality as an escape from boredom or as a way to feel good? Sex can become an attempt to compensate for pain and feeling unworthy. Over time, sexual behavior may show the damaging consequences of addiction: preoccupation, compulsive behavior, despair and depression.

Are you a Sex Addict?
Has your work, education or relationships suffered because of your sexual fantasies or activities? Do you live a double life? Some signs are:

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual life from people you love?
  2. Do you feel compelled to have sex repeatedly in a short time frame?
  3. Does your need for sex cause you to visit places you would prefer to avoid?
  4. Do your sexual practices harm your happiness, social life, or sense of reality?
  5. Are you unable to stop your sexual behavior despite unpleasant consequences?
  6. Do you spend inordinate time obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sex?
  7. Do you want to get away from a sex partner after sex? Do you feel shame or guilt?

We help people change destructive sexual urges and find healthy ways to enjoy life. We help people change sexual compulsions and addictions - rapidly and usually with humor.

Sexual Harassment at Work
Sexuality in the workplace is a very touchy subject, and the number of lawsuits concerning sexual harassment are continually increasing.

We offer Team Coaching at the workplace or at retreats where teams can be together with minimal disturbances. It is often cost-effective to invite one of us to join an annual meeting or conference. We can offer a package of short workshops, team coaching and individual coaching sessions a few days.

Lesbians, Bisexual and Gay
Some women strive to fulfill their emotional needs and sexual desires through other women. Many women seek non-sexual intimate relationships with other women. And some people fantasize homosexual activity but do not act upon their desires.

I taught a few psychology classes at University of Nevada in Las Vegas. While there, I met people with sexual preferences that I had heard of ... and some that I had never heard of. Overall, I met some fascinating people, and now it takes a lot more to surprise me. Martyn

Some men seek other men for sexual pleasure. We have seen this start as a search for a substitute father, a missing brother or vanishing twin ... and / or to avoid dark entanglements with mothers. Homosexual men are increasingly coming out of the closet, which may distress some people.

We have not met any homosexual people who wanted to change their sexual orientation to heterosexual. Like most adults, they often seek a sense of wholeness within their relationships and choose people of their own sex. But human couples have predictable problems, regardless of their sexual orientation ... we offer individual and couple coaching for gay people and lesbian couples.

While few people want to change their sexual orientation, we can help women redefine and fulfill their relationship goals with their mothers, sisters, daughters etc - and with other women.

Couple Coaching
We offer individual and couple coaching where we delicately coach people to dissolve emotional, relationship and sexual problems. We don't give advice on your sexual choices - assuming that you do not hurt children - rather we can coach you to resolve emotional blocks and relationship issues.

Each stage of sexual arousal may be sabotaged - internally or externally. The stages of sexual response typically follow a period of flirtation and romantic preparedness. Without a period or romantic verbal foreplay, any sexual foreplay may be rebuffed - or sex may become businesslike, without romance and intimacy - which some people prefer.

You need not be alone as you seek your way through sexual mazes. Sex is an essential part of human relationships - one that has been terribly distorted for centuries - mostly as a means of controlling people. When you are ready, we can help you find emotional maturity and quality relationships.

Consult your physician about any opinions or recommendations concerning sexual health, medical symptoms or medical conditions.

Click HERE to make an appointment!

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved


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SOLUTIONS for Emotional and Relationship Problems

Hawaii, USA: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
London: YogaAnanda
46 Albert Road North, Reigate, Surrey RH2 9EL, UK
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia

Good Questions

Good Answers

Training

1. Where are you now? Assess relationship bonds and entanglements Systems 1
2. What are your life goals?  Identify your life goals ... and what blocks you Systems 2
3. How to reach your goals?  Use your conscious and unconscious resources Systems 3
4. What stops you?  Dissolve abuse and trauma to rebuild motivation Systems 4
5. What else stops you? Change your limiting beliefs to end dependence Systems 5
6. What else stops you? Resolve identity loss to recover qualities and skills Systems 6
7. What else stops you? Heal mentor damage and find quality mentorship Systems 7
8. What about your partnership? Build happy partnership (or separate peacefully) Systems 8
9. What about your children? We coach parents to resolve family problems Systems 9
10. What about your success? We coach team leaders and teams ... together Systems 10
11. What about your community? We coach community leaders and communities Systems 11
12. What about complex goals? Specialty coaching & training for unusual goals Specialty

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We help people define and achieve goals, resolve emotional blocks and improve relationships. This information is for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Don't steal ... ask Martyn for permission to post or publish his work.