If a computer is programmed to say I love you - would you believe it? If a computer that looks like a human is programmed to say I love you - would you believe it? If a human is programmed like a computer to say I love you ... would you believe it?

What do you believe? Perhaps your answers will surprise you!

• Can you express your love effectively?
• How would you describe your ability to love?
• What would convince you that you are loved?
• What would convince you that you love someone?
• How would you recognize loving communications?
• How would you respond to loving communications?
• How would you describe your ability to express love?
• What would convince you that your love is accepted?
• How do you check how your loved ones want to be loved?
• How do your loved ones respond to your expressions of love?

The motivation to love has many facets. Whether your motivation is biochemical, social or spiritual, you are motivated to preserve your human body, to create descendents, to give your descendents advantages and / or to protect people you perceive as family - you may call your motivation "love".

Stress Disorders . Divorce and Children . Parent Alienation

Space for Love

What is the relationship between a person and a not-yet-met life partner? Between a parent and an unborn child? Between an artist and a not-yet-created masterpiece? Between a businessman and a yet-unrealized enterprise?

Dreams can motivate us to seek or create ways to express love. In these moments, we become aware of a potential for happiness that we wish to share in loving relationships.

To express love, we may first need to make "space" for love. If we focus our energy on one thing - there may be no space for other things, or at least no space without conflict.

Sometimes people confuse relationships - for example a child may perceive a full-time baby-sitter as a substitute mother (especially if a substitute expresses more love than a biological mother), or a person may imagine that a employer is like a father.

There are common examples of transference - of substitute relationships. Do you perceive bosses as parents? Some people perceive casual friends as life partners; pets as children; a random crowd as a community; a country as a substitute for "all-of-humanity"...

If we feel that someone important is missing, and a space seems empty, we may search to fill that space. If we lack children, we may semi-consciously perceive partners, parents, things or projects as substitute children - and attempt to express love to them as we want to love children.

Many relationship entanglements include perceiving a partner as a parent, or as a child, or perceiving a parent or child as a partner. The underlying pattern seems similar. We may perceive what we need to perceive to feel comfortable - as an attempt to feel that our lives have meaning or make sense.

We offer relationship solutions for most relationship and communication challenges. We coach people to improve their relationships as an integral part of defining and attaining important goals. Our training includes in-depth coaching for many relationship issues.

Predictable Partnership  Mother - Son Bonding  Father - Daughter Bonding

Encourage & Appreciate Love

I often describe love as having two modes of expression, active and passive. I refer to active love as enthusiasm, and passive love as appreciation. To actively love, I can choose to understand your desired future and I can choose to support your goals. To passively love you, I can choose to understand your past, and appreciate your actions.

Here are a few thoughts about human love ...

1. Accepting love is a powerful way to express love.
2. A person may choose to love anyone or anything.
3. maturity is the ability to express love appropriately.
4. People can participate in relationships for happiness and "sense-of-life".
5. The ability to fulfill relationships requires physical and emotional maturity.
6. Confusion of basic human relationships leads to suffering - to a lack of sense.
7. Our basic human relationships are: Original Family, Friendship, Teamwork, Partnership, Parenthood, Community and Humanity.
8. The skills required for each relationship type are a prerequisite for the next relationship type
9. Original Family: relationships with the family into which you were born or adopted
10. Friendship: relationships with people with whom you choose to work, rest or play
11. Teamwork: relationships with people with whom you co-operate to accomplish projects
12. Partnership: relationships with people with whom you create a stable, intimate team
13. Parenthood: relationships with children that you create or adopt
14. Community: relationships with people with whom you share interests (e.g. a neighborhood, professional associations, ...)
15. Global: relationships with other communities

You may be unaware of what you lack until you notice that some people are happier than you. Happiness is not luck. People who enjoy long-term happiness generally have high quality relationships ... and high quality relationship skills. Observe happy people ... notice what do they do that you don't do; and notice what they avoid doing.

Our relationship coaching and coach training offers a practical science of happiness - we coach individuals, couples and teams to build happiness through fulfilled success and fulfilled relationships.

Happy people seem to make the most of everything. Happiness may be reserved for people who can love appropriately and in full measure ... for people who can appreciate, accept and encourage other people who touch their lives.

Plagiarism is theft � Martyn Carruthers 2002-2012 All rights reserved