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Do you want private coaching, interactive workshops on
systemic coaching, relationship happiness, resolving family chaos
and relationship bonds? Contact us.
Do you need Premarital Coaching?
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Women seem to have almost unlimited
capacity for forgiveness. (Since it is usually men who needs
forgiveness, this must be a racial survival trait.) Robert Heinlein |
Probably. Your love for each other, however heavenly, can be
grounded by your relationship skills and life experience.
Our premarital counseling can help you build a strong foundation for your
committed partnership. Some keys are: leaving your parents, establishing
roles and finding partnership goals.
Can you see your partnership as intimate teamwork,
where you together create an intimate space in which you can nourish
yourselves, and provide a home for children or life projects? If
either of you lack friendship or teamwork skills, then your partnership
will likely suffer until you develop them.
An important question you need to answer is, "How
can I be SURE that (s)he is right for me?"
[ Soul Mates
] [ Predictable Partnership ] [
Space for Love ]
Systemic Couple Coaching
Partners are not property - partners who
think otherwise will suffer. But few people learn
from others' experience - most
people learn about partnership the hard way. Live and learn
or forget about
happiness.
Our couple coaching sessions are about two hours each,
and three sessions are normal for premarital couples. Most couples use this time to
clarify partnership issues and clean up relationships with parents and
past-partners. A few couples decide that their beliefs, values and intentions
are incompatible for long-term partnership - and choose friendship instead.
Premarital couple coaching is mostly about
compatibility - about sharing values and expectations and about letting go of
parents and past partners. This may include:
- individual rights, individual and couple goals (power,
boundaries, autonomy, help-seeking)
- partnership roles (individual and couple tasks and
chores)
- finances (support; budget; decisions; savings; careers;
accounts)
- sex (extramarital relationships; acceptable behavior;
initiating)
- in-laws (separation; contact; celebrations & rituals;
financial help)
- friends (mutual friends; unacceptable friends)
- recreation (how much time; planning; sharing)
- children (plans; limits; alternatives; child care;
discipline; education; handicaps)
- religion (importance; involvement; disagreement;
financial support)
- grounds for ending a partnership
Our systemic couple coaching is not just discussing issues,
rather we provoke your objections, doubts and poorly
formed goals. We notice and help you explore your objections, abstract
goals, conflicts, negatively worded goals and inappropriate bonds to
parents or past-partners. This may lead to a few sessions of individual coaching to clarify or heal entanglements,
disappointments or guilt.
[ Evaluating
Partnership ] [ Enjoying Partnership
] [ Hawaiian Wedding ]
First Premarital Coaching Session
We can help you test your compatibility
by comparing your beliefs and values. We discuss many key
issues such as where to live, how many children and how you want to
raise them.
If you have only met each other in romantic
conditions, you might make some mild stress tests. Can
you discuss your differences - your different opinions about religion,
politics and money? Can you discuss how to furnish a home together,
or put up wallpaper together without a fight?
If you know your strengths and weaknesses as a couple,
you can build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Many
weaknesses are due to relationship entanglements ... unhealthy enmeshments with
parents or ex-partners, etc, and to bad relationship habits.
Second Premarital Coaching Session
We can help you assess your entanglements with
parents and past-partners, etc, and help you disentangle. A coach can help you
check that your love for each other is not based on some wild transference to a
relative or media figure. We can help you resolve transferences, dysfunctional
habits and relationship bonds to parents or past
partners etc.
[
Entanglements ] [ Mother-Son Bonds ]
[ Father-Daughter Bonds ]
Systemic diagnosis is fast
and usually fun for both of you, and prepares you for...
Third Premarital Coaching Session
Our systemic coaching can help you explore your
relationship strengths and challenges, not only now but also in the
predictable future. A coach helps you explore the long-term aspects of
not only living together but sharing a lifetime together - and avoiding becoming
a single parent.
More practically, you can develop a workable budget
and financial plan, develop your personal, couple and family goals and
set appointments to resolve any issues that arose in Sessions 1 & 2.
[ Couple Coaching
Flowchart and Testimonial ]
Relationship Coaching ...
Systemic Coach Training ...
Your Next Step
Do you want relationship coaching or
systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve relationship
challenges? Do you want to coach people to fulfill their dreams? Contact us.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004, 2008 All rights reserved. |
Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
: Coach Training
: Specialty Training :
Corporate :
FAQ
or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682