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Premarital Coaching
Preparing for Marriage © Martyn Carruthers

Click HERE to make an appointment!


Do you want coaching to prevent marriage problems, or training on
how to resolve emotional issues and partnership problems?


Do you need Premarital Coaching?

Probably. Your love for each other, however heavenly, can be grounded by your relationship skills and life experience. Our premarital counseling and marriage coaching can help you build a strong foundation for your committed partnership together. Some keys are: leaving your parents, establishing roles and finding partnership goals.

Most people want a good partnership, yet they may not understand how sexual attraction and infatuation can fade, and how to replace it with shared values and companionship. We see partnership as intimate teamwork, where two people create an intimate space in which they can nourish yourselves, and provide a home for children or important projects? If either of you lack friendship or teamwork skills, then your partnership will likely suffer until you develop them.

An important question you need to answer is, "How can I be SURE that (s)he is right for me?"

Women seem to have almost unlimited capacity for forgiveness. (Since it is usually men who need forgiveness, this must be a racial survival trait.) Robert Heinlein

Soul Mates . Predictable Partnership . Space for Love


Our Couple Coaching

Partners are not property - partners who think otherwise will suffer. But few people learn
from others' experience - most people learn about partnership the hard way.
Live and learn ... or forget about happiness.

Our couple and marriage coaching is effective. Six hours is normal for premarital couples. Most couples use this time to clarify partnership issues and to clean up relationships with their parents and past-partners. A few couples decide that their beliefs, values and intentions are incompatible for long-term partnership - and choose friendship instead.

Premarital couple coaching is mostly about sharing values and expectations, and also about independence from parents, past partners and unacceptable friends. This includes evaluating and combining individual and couple goals such as:

  1. changing or ending previous relationships
  2. what is acceptable in extramarital relationships?
  3. are social goals are similar or at least compatible?
  4. evaluating mutual friends and unacceptable friends
  5. change or end habits more appropriate for single people
  6. how much time for entertainment and shared recreation?
  7. partnership roles: individual and shared tasks and chores
  8. individual rights, (decisions, boundaries, when to seek help)
  9. in-laws (separation; contact; celebrations & rituals; financial help)
  10. finances (support; budget; decisions; savings; careers; accounts)
  11. religion (importance; involvement; disagreement; financial support)
  12. children (plans; limits; alternatives; child care; discipline; education; handicaps)

Our couple coaching is not just discussing issues, rather we provoke objections and doubts, and we help you define poorly formed goals. We notice and help you explore your objections, abstract goals, conflicts, negative goals and inappropriate bonds to parents or past-partners. A few sessions of individual coaching can often resolve entanglements, disappointments and guilt.

Evaluating Partnership . Enjoying Partnership . Hawaiian Wedding


Premarital Coaching 1

We can help you test your compatibility by comparing your beliefs and values. We discuss many key issues such as where to live, how many children and how you want to raise them.

If you have only met each other in romantic conditions, you might make some mild stress tests. Can you discuss your differences - your different opinions about religion, sex, politics and money? Can you discuss how to furnish a home together, or put up wallpaper together without a fight?

If you know your strengths and weaknesses as a couple, you can build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Many weaknesses are due to relationship entanglements ... unhealthy enmeshments with parents or ex-partners, etc, and to bad relationship habits.


Premarital Coaching 2

We can help you assess your entanglements with parents and past-partners, etc, and help you disentangle. A coach can help you check that your love for each other is not based on some wild transference to a relative or media figure. We can help you resolve transferences, dysfunctional habits and relationship bonds to parents or past partners etc.

Entanglements . Mother-Son Bonds . Father-Daughter Bonds

Systemic diagnosis is usually fast, and fun for both of you, and prepares you for ...


Premarital Coaching 3

Our marriage coaching can help you explore your relationship strengths and challenges, not only now but also in the predictable future. We can help you explore the long-term aspects of not only living together but sharing a lifetime together - and avoiding becoming a single parent.

Couple Coaching Flowchart and Testimonial

More practically, you can develop a workable budget and financial plan, develop your personal, couple and family goals and set appointments to resolve any issues that arise.

Click HERE to make an appointment!

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved.


Training Centers
Hawaii

England 
Europe

 
SOLUTIONS for Emotional and Relationship Problems

Hawaii, USA: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
London: YogaAnanda
46 Albert Road North, Reigate, Surrey RH2 9EL, UK
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia

Email us at

Good Questions

Good Answers

Training

1. Where are you now? Assess relationship bonds and entanglements Systems 1
2. What are your life goals?  Identify your life goals ... and what blocks you Systems 2
3. How to reach your goals?  Use your conscious and unconscious resources Systems 3
4. What stops you?  Dissolve abuse and trauma to rebuild motivation Systems 4
5. What else stops you? Change your limiting beliefs to end dependence Systems 5
6. What else stops you? Resolve identity loss to recover qualities and skills Systems 6
7. What else stops you? Heal mentor damage and find quality mentorship Systems 7
8. What about your partnership? Build happy partnership (or separate peacefully) Systems 8
9. What about your children? We coach parents to resolve family problems Systems 9
10. What about your success? We coach team leaders and teams ... together Systems 10
11. What about your community? We coach community leaders and communities Systems 11
12. What about complex goals? Specialty coaching & training for unusual goals Specialty

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We help people define and achieve goals, resolve emotional blocks and improve relationships. This information is for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Don't steal ... ask Martyn for permission to post or publish his work.