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Do you want telephone coaching to prevent marriage problems,
or professional training on
quality relationship coaching and resolving
partnership problems?
Do you need Premarital Coaching?
Probably. Your love for each other, however heavenly, can be
grounded by your relationship skills and life experience. Our premarital counseling
and marriage coaching can help you build a strong foundation for your committed
partnership together. Some keys are: leaving your parents, establishing roles and
finding partnership goals.
Most people want a good partnership, yet they may not
understand how sexual attraction can fade, and how to replace it with shared
values and companionship. Can you see your partnership as intimate teamwork,
where you together create an intimate space in which you can nourish
yourselves, and provide a home for children or life projects? If
either of you lack friendship or teamwork skills, then your partnership
will likely suffer until you develop them.
An important question you need to answer is,
"How can I be SURE that (s)he is right for me?"
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Women seem to have almost unlimited
capacity for forgiveness. (Since it is usually men who needs
forgiveness, this must be a racial survival trait.) Robert Heinlein
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Soul Mates
. Predictable Partnership .
Space for Love
Systemic Couple Coaching
Partners are not property - partners who
think otherwise will suffer. But few people learn
from others' experience - most
people learn about partnership the hard way. Live and learn
or forget about
happiness.
Our couple and marriage coaching is effective. Six hours is
normal for premarital couples. Most couples use this time to clarify partnership
issues and to clean up relationships with their parents and past-partners. A few
couples decide that their beliefs, values and intentions are incompatible for
long-term partnership - and choose friendship instead.
Premarital couple coaching is mostly about sharing values and
expectations, and also about independence from
parents, past partners and unacceptable friends. This includes evaluating and
combining individual and couple goals such as:
- changing or ending previous
relationships
- what is acceptable in extramarital relationships?
- are social goals are similar or at least compatible?
- evaluating mutual friends and unacceptable friends
- change or end habits more appropriate for single people
- how much time for entertainment and shared recreation?
- partnership roles: individual and shared tasks and
chores
- individual rights, (decisions,
boundaries, when to seek help)
- in-laws (separation; contact; celebrations & rituals;
financial help)
- finances (support; budget; decisions; savings; careers;
accounts)
- religion (importance; involvement; disagreement;
financial support)
- children (plans; limits; alternatives; child care;
discipline; education; handicaps)
Our couple coaching is not just discussing issues,
rather we provoke objections and doubts, and we help you define poorly
formed goals. We notice and help you explore your objections, abstract
goals, conflicts, negative goals and inappropriate bonds to
parents or past-partners. A few sessions of individual coaching can often
resolve entanglements, disappointments and guilt.
Evaluating
Partnership . Enjoying Partnership
. Hawaiian Wedding
First Premarital Coaching Session
We can help you test your compatibility
by comparing your beliefs and values. We discuss many key
issues such as where to live, how many children and how you want to
raise them.
If you have only met each other in romantic
conditions, you might make some mild stress tests. Can
you discuss your differences - your different opinions about religion,
sex, politics and money? Can you discuss how to furnish a home together,
or put up wallpaper together without a fight?
If you know your strengths and weaknesses as a couple,
you can build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Many
weaknesses are due to relationship entanglements ... unhealthy enmeshments with
parents or ex-partners, etc, and to bad relationship habits.
Second Premarital Coaching Session
We can help you assess your entanglements with
parents and past-partners, etc, and help you disentangle. A coach can help you
check that your love for each other is not based on some wild transference to a
relative or media figure. We can help you resolve transferences, dysfunctional
habits and relationship bonds to parents or past
partners etc.
Entanglements . Mother-Son Bonds
. Father-Daughter Bonds
Systemic diagnosis is usually fast,
and fun for both of you, and prepares you for ...
Third Premarital Coaching Session
Our marriage coaching can help you explore your
relationship strengths and challenges, not only now but also in the
predictable future. A coach helps you explore the long-term aspects of
not only living together but sharing a lifetime together - and avoiding
becoming a single parent.
Couple Coaching
Flowchart and Testimonial
More practically, you can develop a workable budget and
financial plan, develop your personal, couple and family goals and set
appointments to resolve any issues that arise.
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved. |
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