|
We offer coaching and training on healthy relationships - including emotional
stability,
lasting happiness, better family relationships and emotional intelligence. While
older people often tell us that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, we
have a lot of success in helping older people relax and release emotional and
relationship issues that have hounded them for many years.
Coaching & Older People
We coach people to define and achieve their goals. We help people understand the benefits and consequences of
changing and of
ignoring their emotional blocks and relationship issues.
Sometimes a person's age is relevant to their ability to
change. We find that older people often need more time to assess information and
make decisions, and that they may forget their decisions and agreements.
Some older people
may remember their youth more clearly than the last session.
Senior citizens are not a homogenous group. We explore each
person's choices in the context of their goals and their age. See also
Disillusionment.
Coaching & Responsibility
Old age isn't
for the weak
We help people assess their emotions and make choices
about their relationships. We do not diagnose medical conditions,
nor give advice concerning the treatment of medical conditions ... unless we are
also licensed medical doctors.
Many factors may impair a person's capacity to make
decisions. Infections, a missing relative, a need for a toilet, the
presence of an intimidating authority, toxic relationship bonds - any
of these may temporarily reduce a person's ability to assess a situation
or make complex decisions.
Our coaching is of limited use for people who
are not responsible for their decisions, or who are unable to take care of
themselves. However, our coaching is more than useful for their caregivers.
Competence & Informed Consent
Here are useful maxims about consent and competence (from Thomas Grisso & Paul S. Appelbaum)
:
- Legal competence can change
- Legal incompetence refers to functional deficits
- Legal incompetence depends on consequences
- Legal incompetence depends on functional demands
- Legal incompetence is related to, but not the same as,
impaired mental states
Based on standards of informed consent, four
important abilities are:
- making voluntary choices
- understanding the personal impact of a treatment
- applying logical reasoning to received information
- understanding information relevant to the current decision
Incompetence can be defined as "functional deficits
judged to be sufficiently great that a person currently cannot meet
the demands of a specific decision-making situation, weighed in
light of the potential consequences of that decision."
As few coaches are also lawyers and medical doctors,
we prefer to err on the side of caution.
Consultation
Most people talk to friends, relatives and professionals
when making complex decisions. They may discuss the potential risks
and benefits, and possible effects on values and lifestyle.
Making decisions is often easier if information is
presented in simple, concrete language. It may be sufficient for an older
person to understand that coaching can help people feel better, or
help people change their relationship habits, or both.
Coaching the Elderly
Many senior citizens are slower at making decisions than
younger people. Older people have a lot more life experience, and may
have experienced unpleasant consequences of impetuous decisions. They may
also think slower - and they may forget key concepts or phrases in the
information.
A younger coach may feel frustrated and impatient with
slow responses to apparently simple requests. "Do you want to
feel better about your relationship with
your children?" A complete answer may not be as simple as
"Yes" or "No". Older people may want to
ensure you understand their situations.
Many people are confused by their emotions and
relationships - not only the elderly. Some people
- may be visually impaired and not mention it
- may continually drift off into daydreams or to sleep
- may have significant hearing loss - and may not tell you
- may not understand instructions which differ from their habits
- may not understand that relationships can be dramatically improved
Some key points when we coach clients who may have a
limited attention span:
- Listen carefully
- Break complex skills into simple steps
- Keep attention with eye contact and short sentences
- Break complex decisions into many simple decisions
- Test the person's understanding with simple questions
- Give information at a speed in which it can be understood
- Give overviews of possible strategies for achieving each goal
Our coaching often includes rehearsals for difficult
conversations.
Your success begins
and ends with you! Do not delegate your own development.
Our coaching and training can help you unlock your personal
and career success, your relationships and your life choices. Explore what motivates you, what inspires you, what are your
strengths and WHY you want your goals. ... as well as creating effective plans
to achieve them.
Do You Want Results?
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
2005-2011 All rights reserved.
|
