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Relativity(Martyn) You probably have about 10 - 30 living relatives that you know about. How many dead relatives do you have? Let's say 10 - 30 million, depending on how far back you consider your ancestors to be human. Your more recent ancestors - in the last hundred thousand years - were much like you - and at least as smart. They lived, maybe they had children and they died, and where are they now? As you might expect, most ghosts are - or were - ordinary people. They rarely have profound revelations. They may be peaceful, relaxed and supportive of their descendents. Or they may be depressed or obsessed, sometimes taking the concept of tunnel vision to extremes. They are scared more often than scary. Grateful Dead(David) As a retired psychotherapist, I had many living clients. When I had clients who could not speak Canadian, we had to work through a translator. Lately I have had dead clients, and we have to work through a trance-later. But work it is - working with dead people can be exhausting! (And although their gratitude can be tear-provoking, only one has known anything about a lost treasure ... and that's a good story about one of the greatest lost treasures of the world). (Martyn) With my background in physics, I never had time for nor much interest in ghosts ... until I started studying with native Hawaiian healers. Since then, I find that ghosts and ghost stories help explain and resolve relationship problems, and family karma (intergenerational entanglements) that transcend life and death. Whether you call them ghosts or imagination, they offer useful ways to increase the dynamic relationship harmony that gives sense to most human lives. Everybody wants to go to Heaven - but nobody wants to die(Martyn) In societies that are scared to death of dying, ghosts can be treated badly. In societies that accept death as an integral part of living, ghosts can be treated well. Many Catholic cultures honor the dead on special days, and light candles for them. Many Asians assume that family ghosts can be helpful and friendly, and regularly offer prayers, incense and food to their ancestors . (This behavior might be called schizophrenia in our intellectual West ...) The Living Dead or UndeadMany ghosts that we meet seem stuck between two time zones - between the zone of the living and the zone of the dead. Ghosts usually have the following qualities: 1. Ghosts are dead people(David) If this seems obvious - slow down. Some people who are still living have fully dissociated their "selves" - which may act as free agents. I remember a university professor - I knew him for years and I can't say I that ever met him. I met a very intellectual and logical "mind" - but I don't recall any sense of shared humanity. Ever. Where was his self? I thought that he haunted his classrooms - while still alive. (Martyn) A person may die unpleasantly. In my experience, pain wasn't much of an issue for ghosts - but suffering was. The suffering of being abandoned or deserted by family or friends, the suffering of living for an ideal which turned out to be hollow. The suffering of watching children and friends die. Many ghosts communicated that a painful end makes it easier to accept death; while dying in one's sleep or under the influence of psychoactive drugs can cause confusion during and after death. 2. Ghosts are disoriented(David) Some of the most disoriented ghosts that I have interviewed were the ghosts of murderers and suicides. They may describe horrible fantasies - but not deathly realities. Often these ghosts communicated that murder or suicide seemed to be an easy way out of some problem. Usually, it wasn't. (Martyn) Many ghosts seem to be confused. Many do not know that their bodies have died. They do not know what year it is, or what their body-name was. Some ghosts seem senile - they don't like where they are and they try to cling to somebody. Other ghosts are much like people with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), which seems to makes sense. I'm sure that dying can be traumatic. 3. Ghosts do not know that time has passed(David) A ghost may be unwilling to even consider that time has passed. It may cling to a fixed idea that in any moment he or she will wake up or be forgiven or that it will complete something important that it was doing at the time its body died. It's interesting to ask a ghost, "What year is this?" or "Who is ruling the country?". (Martyn) A ghost may be frozen in time. One year or a hundred years - there may be little or no difference. A ghost may say that it is waiting for someone to return, or waiting for something specific to happen - so that it can move on. 4. Ghosts may not know that their bodies have died(David) Many ghosts seem to be stuck in time warps at the time of their death, and, if time stopped before the moment of death, then the ghost may believe that it is still alive. A ghost may also believe that it was abandoned or betrayed and be quite angry, sad or scared. (Martyn) A ghost might be shocked to find that it has no living body. A ghost may call you crazy, stupid or misinformed. "How can I be dead? Are you an idiot? I am here ...!" This confusion seems more likely if a person died in their sleep or demented or under the influence of psychotropic drugs. If a ghost has no memory of dying - how can a ghost know that he or she has died? 5. Ghosts are entangled and cannot leave(David) Ghosts are often vague as to their next step. Some are scared of taking it, and try to cling to the life or world that they once knew. Others seem to have no idea what to do to move on. Others are held by the living, who cling to the dead person and may offer a warm human body for the ghost to call home. (Martyn) A ghost may say that it wants to leave, but that it cannot. A ghost may communicate that it has to say something, or do something, or prevent something - before it can move on. Some ghosts communicate that they need forgiveness. We find that ghosts are often entangled with physical and mental diseases (particularly with miscarriages and spontaneous abortions). 6. Ghosts have little leverage(David) Occasionally a ghost radiates energy that we call emotions - usually sorrow, anxiety, guilt or anger. Some highly motivated ghosts can move physical items or manifest strange noises, fluids, items etc - they may be called poltergeists. A few are called "energy vampires" and are accused of sucking energy from the living - but in my experience, most people freely give their life-energy to the dead, especially to their dead ancestors. (Martyn) A ghost may try to attract the attention of the living, but most of the time they just wait. Ghosts may be bonded to a location - to their places of death or to their graves, or may be bonded to their genealogy - to their ancestral homes or to their descendents' lives. I find that people are as likely to be haunted as places! Communicating with the Dead
(David) Many people communicate with ghosts - although often, these people do not recognize it. They refer to their communication as intuition or self-hatred, etc. Try this out - simply observe or pay attention to your thoughts - instead of responding emotionally to them. Is your inner voice inside - or outside; male or female; young or old ... who or what is speaking to you? Some people call them demons ... (Martyn) A profound method of communicating with ghosts is our Dreaming Together, which is inspired by Hawaiian healing. Expertise requires long experience or training in lucid dreaming and interactive metaphors - and in handling whatever comes up in the shared lucid dreams. Be aware that Dreaming Together can quickly bring unconscious "stuff" to consciousness - and that there may be reasons for keeping it buried! Sometimes dream content can be horrific. (We teach Dreaming Together in our Systemic 3 training.) Suicide . Identification . Systemic Magic Exorcism: Do your Daily Exorcises!(David) I find most exorcism to be brutal. Imagine inviting a confused and mentally distressed relative to stay in your home - and then paying a hit-man to destroy your relative, or to force him or her leave with no place to go. (Martyn) Perhaps exorcism is better than nothing - although most ghosts have agendas, in my opinion. Sometimes the person or family being haunted is in debt to the ghost, or hurt the living person who the ghost represents. And sometimes the entanglements cross many generations.
Demon-strations(David) I wrote about a Haunted House that had thee ghosts and two ... things ... from a separate reality. What we call demons are not ghosts of dead people, but entities from a normally inaccessible level of consciousness. Demons are not as easy to interview as ghosts (the trance-later may freak out). Some entities are frightfully toxic - feeding on human emotional energy. Psychotics and addicts may provide fast-food and all you can eat services for hungry demons. But even on their best behavior, visitors from seperate realities can cause confusion and chaos. The entities called demons seem to follow their own paths, uncaring about whatever chaos they cause us humans. (Martyn) A common way of inviting problems into your life is to ignore unfinished business with dead people. This is likely if a family member dies in such a way that you feel guilty and especially if the death is a taboo topic that cannot be discussed. Suicides and abortion seem the most common. We coach people to resolve entanglements with dead people - and with the undead. See Consequences of Abortion, Suicide and Vanishing Twins. (We have coached a few people who were entangled with dead pets ... and one person who was entangled with a dead tree!) Haunted House . Curses . Black Magic . Dead Person Identification . Demon
David J. Marsden is a retired psychotherapist living in Ontario, Canada. David investigates stories of ghosts and demons etc. Martyn Carruthers lives in British Columbia, Canada, and teaches Systemic Coaching internationally. We bring heart, science and humor into the complexities of relationships. Click HERE to make an appointment!
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