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In quantum physics, entanglement is a
relationship between two systems which influence each other. When the state of
one part of an entangled system is known, information about the state of the
other may be deduced without direct interaction. This also describes human
relationships. Contact us.
Are you Entangled?
Human entanglements (enmeshments) are
unconscious blocks and habits that can hurt you and people you love.
Entanglements can cause chaos and suffering. They reflect
your ability to enjoy your life and your relationships.
Entanglements are associated with guilt, injustice,
identifications, substitutions and transferences.
Most toxic entanglements are examples of
identity loss.
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Guilt |
You reduce your happiness following
abandoning, betraying or hurting someone |
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Injustice |
You dedicate part of your life to balancing
somebody's unjust behavior |
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Identification |
You identify with another human being and lose
your sense of self |
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Substitution |
You want emotional closeness with one person but attract
it from someone else |
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Transference |
You communicate with a person as if that person
were someone else |
Are you bothered by emotional reactions,
confusion or relationship patterns following events such as
codependence, emotional
incest and client abuse by therapists?
You can free yourself from entanglements with Systemic coaching. (See
Victim Identification and
Quantum Thinking)
Entanglement & Freedom
Do you sometimes act like a lost child or a
victim? Do you sometimes play victimizer, victim or rescuer roles?
These role-playing games can be intense ... have high
stakes. You bet your life.
Many families, organizations and cults encourage
entanglements to control the behavior of their members. There may be rules, but
some key rules are secret. And sometimes you can only lose.
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Signs of Entangled Relationships |
| Excuses |
Blaming |
Complaining |
Criticizing |
| Threatening |
Coercing |
Begging |
Gossiping |
| Don't say what you mean |
Don't take yourself seriously |
Claim everything is your fault |
Never say "No" |
| Don't mean what you say |
Tell people not to take you seriously |
Say nothing is your fault |
Never say "Yes" |
| Don't know what you mean |
Take yourself too seriously |
Avoid talking about yourself |
Lie, protect and cover up for people |
| Apologize for being alive |
Are never sure what is being
discussed |
Talk too much |
Talk in self-critical, or hostile ways |
| Only say what provokes people |
Only express
opinions when people will agree |
Claim to sacrifice your happiness
for others |
Cannot express emotions
appropriately |
| Compulsive spending |
Believe lies |
Tell lies |
Become workaholic |
Many people are manipulated by - and
may manipulate others by - sexual entanglements. The most common are in sales -
pretty young women can sell just about anything. Also common are people who
provide sexual pleasure - often without receiving pleasure - in return for some
benefit.
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Partnership & Sexual Entanglements |
- Do you have sex when you don't want to?
- Do you initiate sex when you feel bad?
- Can you ask for what you want in bed?
- Do you withdraw from your sex partner?
- Are you disgusted by your sex partner?
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- Is sex just robotic movements?
- Have you lost interest in sex?
- Do you invent excuses to avoid sex?
- Do you wish a partner would die?
- Do you consider sexual affairs?
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[ Sexual
Abuse ] [ Sexual Solutions ]
[ Sexual Issues ] [ Sexual
Affairs ]
Long-Term Entanglements
Many codependent entanglements and
dysfunctional disorders get worse over time, moving through symbiosis
towards codependence and disconnection. You may become
addicted to your own emotions - or addicted to hiding your emotions. What are
the consequences
of entanglements?
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Common Consequences of Codependence |
- feel lethargic, bored or low energy
- feel dejected and depressed
- feel hopeless, helpless &
worthless
- feel withdrawn and isolated
- abuse or neglect your children
- avoid your responsibilities
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- consider self-harm or suicide
- become aggressive and violent
- psychosomatic disease
- eating and sleeping disorders
- addictions to substances
- autoimmune disease symptoms
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A few questions about your emotions an indicate your level of
codependence ...
| Anger / Rage |
Fear / Anxiety |
Sadness / Melancholy |
- Are you afraid of your own anger?
- Are you frightened of other people's anger?
- Do you hide or swallow your anger?
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- Are you afraid of authorities?
- Are you afraid of being abandoned?
- Are you afraid of consequences?
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- Do you proclaim your sadness?
- Do you punish people who make you sad?
- Do you feel guilt for feeling sad?
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Human entanglements often include avoiding or overloading responsibility.
Entangled adults often appear immature and childish, or may be overly protective
(control freaks) towards other adults. Protection can be a small step from
control.
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Entanglements & Responsibility |
- Must you help people with problems?
- Do you give unwanted advice?
- Do you obsess about people's needs?
- Do you try to please other people (but not yourself)?
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- Are you attracted to needy people?
- Do you only attract needy people?
- Do you feel victimized?
- Are you overly responsible?
- Are you overly irresponsible?
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Do you want to change something? Or do you want
to continue suffering? We cannot change you or do your changework for you, but
we can coach you through it, step by step. Or we can train you to coach
other people to dissolve their emotional and relationship entanglements.
Do you cling to your
entanglements? See ... Entanglements 2
Relationship Coaching ...
Systemic Coach Training ...
Your Next Step
Do you want relationship coaching or
systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to
resolve emotional and relationship challenges? Do you want to coach people to
fulfill their dreams? Contact us.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2008 All rights reserved. |
Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
: Coach Training
: Specialty Training :
Corporate :
FAQ
or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682