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Do you want private sessions, or
workshops on couple coaching, affairs, toxic secrets and quality relationships?
Are you interested in couple coaching or systemic coach training?
This is for heterosexual or homosexual
couples, or for two people who work together. Few relationship problems are
about sexual preferences - most are about differences between people.
Systemic Couple & Partnership Coaching
Is your marriage or partnership in trouble? Or is it great
and you want to make it better? Or do you wonder if you should split? Or do
you want to find a partner? Is your partnership a major cause of stress? Our
couple coaching can help you. Here are some simple
communication exercises.
Couple coaching helps partners resolve personal and
partnership issues and achieve their goals. Our systemic couple coaching
integrates and transcends marriage counseling and business consulting.
Our couple coaching includes elements of systemic family therapy;
team coaching and community coaching. Systemic couple coaching also includes
individual life coaching (to resolve individual objections,
conflicts, identity issues and trauma etc).
Our couple coaching includes pre-marital counseling and help
for people considering long-term partnership or mutual effort. We can help you solve
partnership problems. We can help you evaluate and change your
goals, roles, patterns, rules and beliefs. We can help you sort out
relationships with your parents, parents-in-law, past-partners and other people
who adversely affect your partnership.
As you and your partner evaluate your relationship,
we help you identify and solve your problems. Soulwork couple coaching can help you
define your partnership goals and partnership responsibilities.
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Soulwork Systemic Couple Coaching: Our Story |
Dear Reader ...
Martyn Carruthers asked me to share our experience with you.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years with two adorable
daughters; I am a human resources director and he is a therapist. We
think of our relationship as fulfilling in every aspect and we are happy
to have each others commitment, trust and
love. We could communicate constructively and sort out most of our stuff.
However, there were "small" and "big" issues that we
could not sort out ourselves. We were too involved with our own processes
to concentrate on our partnership and long term consequences.
Some two years ago we decided we wanted professional support to enable
us to live towards our common goals, as well as our
personal and professional goals.
Both of us are psychologists
and we know many therapists who offer marriage counseling, but we did not feel
comfortable with their standard approach which tries to fix people. For
two years we searched for someone with a deep understanding of relationships
as well as a straight-to-the-point-and-no-bullshit-approach.
A few months ago we met Martyn Carruthers in Zagreb and we both sensed he could be the guy we could work
with ... this was our introduction to systemic couple coaching.
Some "big issues" turned
out to be symptoms of "small issues" and we resolved issues that we
suffered for years in a couple of sessions, while gaining deep insights. We not only
resolved issues, we explored what was happening "backstage" so we gained
valuable perspectives and experience.
Martyn's couple
coaching showed us how to be more sensitive to each other's
perception and interpretation, and to the consequences of our deeds and
ambitions. It also gave us clarity in our other relationships with our other
family members.
Our couple-coaching sessions were dynamic,
goal-orientated and inspiring. Sometimes, there were tears, sometimes
deep dialogues and, what surprised us most, many times we had good
and healthy laughter, even over serious issues. We value this
as clients and as professionals.
We believe that no matter how good a
relationship is, it can always be better, and both of us want to
continue to grow not just as two individuals, but as a couple and as a
family. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and
to our daughters. We are now both attending Soulwork coach training.
KH & MH, Croatia, April 2004 |
Systemic Couple Coaching
If you feel plagued by problems, you will probably
consider its causes. You may seek explanations within popular psychology,
traumatic experiences or decide that we're just not meant to be together.
Usually, the most motivated partner contacts a Soulwork coach.
This may be the partner who suffers most, or the partner who most wants to end
a problem, or the one who most wants happiness. After the initial contact,
Soulwork couple coaching begins with an assessment:
- Where are you both now?
- What do you each want to change in yourselves?
- What do you each want the other to change?
- What gets in the way of your happiness together?
- What else could stop you both being content?
- What do you argue, quarrel or fight about?
- How do you want to make decisions together?
These simple questions may bring profound discussion and
unexpected answers. Exploring these questions together can help you accelerate
couple coaching (see Couple Coaching Flow Chart 1).
The second phase is complex, as described in the Soulwork
Coaching Manual; with structure, details and examples of Premarital
Coaching, Post-Abortion Coaching, Reconciliation and
Divorce Coaching; with tools for resolving guilt, transferences,
relationship bonds, trauma and mentor damage etc.
Systemic Couple Coaching Flowchart
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Couple Coaching |
<Image: Flowchart CC1>
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[ Individual
Coaching Flowchart ] [
Family Coaching Flowchart ]
Couple Coaching Phase 2
On completion of Phase 1, both partners decide whether
they want to continue together, or if they prefer to separate, or if they
want to participate in a trial reconciliation period.
Testimonial:
"My wife and
I attended marriage counseling last year. We discussed how our life together
might be better. But we wanted more than the counselor could provide. A lot
more. Couple coaching with
Martyn Carruthers helped us sort out some really tricky issues. We could end
our bad feelings about our abortions, my wife's abuse by her uncle
when she was ten years old and my sexual experiments when I was a teenager.
It was definitely soul-work. We cleared up
my issues about my first wife's death and my new wife's fascination
with a man she works with. We also realized I was too close to my new wife's
teenage daughter - my wife didn't like that we were so close but she didn't know how to deal
with it. Now I'm just our daughter's step-Dad and not her special friend.
So much is behind us now. Even better than
clearing up past issues, we both feel we can help each other handle pretty
much anything life throws at us.
JP & SP, 2004, London, England |
The second phase of our couple coaching explores appropriate
ways for a couple to resolve objections, conflicts and old relationships etc,
while developing and building mutual respect and restoring intimacy. Couple
coaching phase 2 resolves complex relationship entanglements, and coaches both
partners to coach each other. (Systemic couple coaching is taught in Systemic
8.)
[ Enjoying Partnership ]
[ Father-Daughter Bonds ]
[ Mother-Son Bonds ]
Systemic coach training can help you unlock your
personal and career success, your relationships and your life choices.
Live an inspired passionate life!. Discover what motivates you, what
inspires you, your strengths and WHY you want your goals. Make it all real
by helping others. Interested?
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Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
: Coach Training
: Specialty Training :
Corporate :
FAQ
or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682