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Summary

Marriage Counseling & Couple Coaching
Solve Partnership Problems © Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching & Mentorship

Did you think that you left your parents' influence behind you when you grew up?
Most people seem to choose partners that are much like Mom or Dad.
We can help you change your relationship habits.

Escape the parent trap and change destructive habits!
We can help you untangle your lives and reclaim your happiness.

Is Your Partnership Under Attack?

You become a couple when you stand together before your friends and relatives and say that you are. Wedding ceremonies are legal contracts that symbolize commitments.

You are surrounded by toxic role models on TV and at the cinema. The lyrics of love music often sing of symbiosis, dependence and codependence. Advertisements try to persuade you that your happiness requires their products. The result? How many couples do you know who enjoy happy partnership?

Some companies make huge profits by selling expensive short-term distractions. Politicians and cult members may try to persuade you that you  can only be happy if you support their their philosophy. Your independent long-term happiness may not help them achieve their goals.

Immature people have a special word for a happy partnership ... they call it boring! Immature people often prefer drama to health, distraction to peace, and short-term fun to lasting happiness. If you grew up in a family where drama and distraction were normal, you may be damaged - unable to enjoy committed partnership and parenthood.

Drug dealers do not prosper when their customers are healthy. They must convince you that you have a drug deficiency or wait for you to feel sick! But they don't have to wait long - most diseases are consequences of unhealthy lifestyles and unhappy relationships. Unhealthy has become normal!.

Partnership Problems

If you try to create your marriage or partnership based on the role models offered by TV, movies etc, you will probably suffer partnership problems until you find yourself considering separation or divorce. Only after you have suffered enough from partnership problems, are you likely to seek couple coaching.

Real partnerships have predictable problems. Are you having problems with your marriage or partnership? Should you find a marriage counselor or a relationship coach? Marriage counseling and couple coaching are not the same. Your choice may reflect the state of your marriage or partnership and the emotional state of you and your partner.

We can help you define your goals, explore blocks to those goals and dissolve them during intensive sessions. Our coaching is often a better fit for couples who have busy work and family lives.

Marriage counseling can help you solve problems and understand your emotions. Our coaching can help you resolve underlying fixations, relationship bonds and identity loss; and improve your partnership skills. We want you and your partner to enjoy happy and healthy relationships without further coaching. Our goal is that you learn to coach yourselves! (Sounds easy doesn't it?)

Partnership Conflicts

People who work or live together will have conflicts! And people can learn to resolve conflicts about goals, about what is good for children, about past trauma, betrayal, lost trust, lost intimacy, diseases, disabilities and relationships with important people, such as a partner's family.

Conflicts will happen, and most can be resolved. Rather than hiding conflicts and hoping that they will go away, we coach people to resolve most internal and external conflicts, by dissolving the emotional basis of conflicts (entanglements, transference, relationship bonds and trauma).

Hidden Emotions & Identity Loss

Do you or your partner hide conflicts and emotions to protect yourself? Do you pretend that you feel OK? Do you try to avoid breaking up your family over your disappointments or suffering? Are you depressed, hiding your pain, hiding your fears, sadness and anger ... hiding much of who you are?

Do you feel like some parts of you have disappeared, and you don't know how to bring them back? Sooner or later will you explode with emotions or become sick? Good intentions are not enough.

Marriage counselors can offer practical advice and help you understand your issues. Counseling can help you make decisions and encourage behavior change. But many problems have emotional roots. Partners disappointed by betrayal may not recover until the trauma is resolved and trust is rebuilt.

We do not advise people to fight their own emotions, rather we coach people to resolve relationship conflicts, so that unpleasant emotions disappear and make space for dynamic happiness and sense of life. A common alternative is to passively accept counterfeit love or turn to medication.

We can coach partners to find and build a "Together Vision", using systemic skills which we developed. We help partners discuss difficult topics while honoring and respecting each other. We coach people to resolve blocks, and find ways to fulfill life that are wonderful for both. We coach people to live with integrity and fulfillment. Couple coaching works.

Most couples, even with huge emotional baggage, even with horrendous situations, can build a happy partnership - if they decide that they both want happiness and are willing to work toward it. It may not be easy. It's almost always possible. We can help you achieve it.

1. Do you both want a stable, happy partnership?
2. Can you both commit to achieving your shared goal?
3. Are you both willing to explore how to create happy partnership?
4. What will convince you that you have a stable, happy partnership?
5. When do you want to build this stable, happy partnership of your dreams?

Couple Coaching or Marriage Counseling?

Couple coaching and marriage counseling attract people with different needs. Couple coaching is great for people who want to change destructive habits (which are often family traditions), while marriage counseling may be better for people who want to understand their problems and get good advice.

Good advice can be wonderful if you are in crisis with few resources and social problems. Good advice may help you feel better, at least for a while. But advice rarely changes habits. It is easy to advise you, for example, to "be brave" when you are suffering from sexual or physical abuse.

Good advice may not help if you feel overwhelmed by emotions, such as anger, fear or sadness, if your communication is poor or if either of you feels stressed or under duress.

And, with best of intentions, prayer, meditation and esoteric advice may only have temporary results. The consequences of short-term results include frustration, disappointment and mentor damage; you may decide that all potential mentors and helping professionals are manipulative, immature or liars.

Couples coaching Couples

We can help you and your partner enrich, renew and strengthen your partnership. We can support your individual growth and self-development. Are you willing to build your emotional intelligence and develop your partnership maturity? Are you ready to be happy?

We can help you realize your potential - both in what you choose to do, and your impact in the world. If you are committed, we can support your goals. Without your commitment ... well ... maybe you can find happiness some other way. We wish you well.

Online Couple Coaching & Mentorship

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2007-2011 All rights reserved.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2011 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks, improve relationships and achieve goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... ask for permission to post, publish or teach this work.