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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? Systemic coaching can help you untangle
your life ... and you can help other people reclaim their freedom. Contact us.
Abusers always have Excuses
Inquisition priests would torture you for the good
of your soul. Sales people may manipulate you to help you buy. Employers may bully you to
increase your productivity. Interviewers may pry into your life for the benefit of
their organization. Most abusers will justify their abuse and
violations of your trust.
Abuse is about dominance and control. Abuse may be
accompanied by emotional displays, threats, lies, broken promises and
humiliation. Many abusers lack
emotional maturity. Many abusive adults themselves experienced abuse and
emotional incest. They may
try to enmesh you into their fantasies.
Although abusers hurt millions of people, relatively few cases are
reported, often due to shame or lack of legal knowledge. Our systemic
coach training can help you end relationship abuse and heal the consequences of
abuse in your and your family's life.
What is Physical Abuse?
Physical abuse is a violent act that is carried out with the
knowledge that the likely consequences of it will be physical injury or pain to
another person. Examples of physical abuse are hitting, shoving, pinching,
pulling hair, bruising, kicking, twisting arm, biting, burning, restraining,
scratching, stabbing, shooting and slapping.
Domestic violence is the threat, attempt, or physical harm
made against you or a member of your family by another family member or by
someone you live with, or have lived with (as if you were related). Domestic
violence may have worse consequences than physical abuse by a stranger.
Dealing with Abuse
You are not alone. We can help you remain
emotionally mature, responsible and flexible.
Do you know when are you responsible
for another person's actions? Can you manage (not just
dissociate) your own emotions? Can you be alert, strong yet flexible under
stress?
Abusive relationships can range from parental criticism
and school-teacher sarcasm to interrogation and
kidnapping. The consequences of abusive relationships can include
psychosis, stress disorders (PTSD),
depression and anxiety.
Many cults and
cult-like organizations (including some training organizations,
businesses, multi-level marketing (MLM) companies, military
& paramilitary groups) abuse their members. Yet many people are unable to leave
these
organizations because of the effectiveness of psychological coercion.
[
Training Abuse ] [ Exit
from Cults ] [
Sexual Abuse ]
Some trainers abuse their students. Some health
professionals abuse their patients. Some gurus abuse their devotees. They may
prescribe programs that they would not use themselves. They may show sadism,
incompetence, immaturity, identity loss or codependence ... and a need to
dominate.
[ Abuse by Therapists ]
[ Mentor Damage ] [
Marriage Counseling ]
Abusers want to intimidate and manipulate. Domestic,
employee and sales abusers want to benefit personally.
Interrogation, interview and elicitation specialists
want information to use against you.
Domestic Abuse & Child Abuse
Domestic abuse includes physical or emotional harm
to relatives. Physical violence or threats may accompany hurtful communication. You
may feel afraid, angry, confused and dependent. Soulwork systemic coaching can
help you maintain your integrity and make healthy decisions.
Many domestic and child abusers have mental health
problems. They are often easily frustrated and
moody. They may not feel guilt about hurting you. Systemic coaching
can help them, too.
[ Addictions
] [ Child Sexual Abuse ] [
Parent Coaching
] [ Children of Divorce ]
Employee Abuse
Managers who are entangled
may abuse their staff if they see their employees as substitutes
for parents, partners or children. Such managers may abuse
their workers - and later refer to employee
abuse as effective management.
Employees who tolerate abuse may not understand
office politics or systemic power. Abusive managers are often incompetent or
perfectionist. They want status, recognition,
self-esteem and power. Soulwork systemic coaching can
coach managers to improve their management skills,
and can help employees cope with difficult managers.
[
Managing Difficult
Employees ] [
Downsizing ] [
Verbal Aikido ]
Abusive Partnerships
Some people are shocked if
a partnership becomes abusive, while others may start a partnership
expecting it to become abusive. Abusive people are often emotionally entangled
with abusive family members or family victims.
Most abuse starts with good intentions.
[ Couple
Coaching ] [ Predictable
Partnership ]
Sales Abuse & Violation of Privacy
Some salespeople are trained in
deception, intimidation and hypnotic language. They try to build
rapport, prolong negotiation and
wear down resistance until you buy something you don't want. Some abusive
sellers are trained in NLP and covert hypnosis. Some sales people learn elicitation techniques, to covertly
learn from you things that you may not want to share.
Elicitation allows passive-aggressive people to read your mind without your
permission.
To gain rapport (your compliance with their agenda),
they may mirror your posture, paraphrase what you say and
mimic your way of talking. They want you to trust them. They want
to invade your privacy and influence your behavior.
You can prevent or stop abusive sales
techniques - some simple ways are:
Ask friends to be
present when you want to make a substantial purchase Discuss the details of a
contract with a trusted relative, friend or advisor before signing it If you feel stressed,
leave - or make the salesperson leave Many abusive
people rely on your need to be nice. Maybe scream instead.
Elicitation - Detecting Lies & Deceit
You may deny, minimize
and rationalize your behavior. You didn't do it, well, only
once, long ago, because everybody else was doing it too. People trained in
elicitation expect you to lie. They ask:
- Control questions
- they want you to lie - they want to see how you lie
- Irrelevant questions - they want to see how
you tell the truth
- Relevant questions - they carefully note how
you answer
Adults who knowingly tell lies try to keep still and look at
the eyes of the questioners. Self-aware liars avoid common
gestures like touching their noses or hair, or shaking their heads. How to
lie congruently is taught in many communication, acting and
interview-preparedness trainings.
More subtle nonverbal cues cannot be so easily controlled,
allowing people to violate your privacy without your knowledge and against your
desire. If you try to avoid certain topics, then those topics may be
sensitive. You can learn to control your facial skin color, pupil size,
perspiration and pulse. Systemic coaching can increase your self-awareness
and reduce elicitation.
Kidnapping & Interrogation
Interviews
and elicitation are relatively gentle ways to obtain information. A
primary goal of kidnapping and interrogation may be to intimidate you and cause you to
age regress - to feel like a lost child. Your capture and
detention may be to soften you for exploitation by an interrogator.
Although the United Nations Convention Against
Torture prohibits the use of physical or mental pain to obtain
information; you may be disconnected from your family,
friends and society. Legal kidnappers may use your sexuality, family and religion against
you. Illegal kidnappers may do anything they wish.
Kidnappers may replace your sense of self with a
confused sense of doom. They may besiege you with illogical but horrible statements.
As you try to make sense of terrible nonsense, you may say anything to
end the confusion. Without preparation, you may age-regress; and behave like
a distressed child.
Interrogation tactics can range from mind
games to torture. Interrogators are paid to get information, and
some experiment with torture, sexual humiliation, hypnosis or
drugs. Some Western governments allow interrogation to include anything
that does not cause death or damage vital
organs.
[
Psychological Operations ] [
Trauma & PTSD ]
A kidnapping is often planned for maximum shock -
often in the early morning. You are expected to experience deep distress. If
you are put in solitary confinement, expect unpleasant hallucinations.
Interrogation Techniques
|
- You may be strip searched and your possessions
taken
- You may be isolated, perhaps for days,
perhaps without sleep
- You may be denied clean food, clean
water, toilet or bedding
- You may be repeatedly asked irrelevant questions
- You may be promised leniency if you confess now
- You may be imprisoned with one or more informers
- You may be threatened with physical abuse or torture
- You may be physically abused or tortured
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Summary
Our relationship coaching and systemic coach training can help
you deal with abusive situations, and you can help people who have
been abused. You may never be fully prepared for relationship abuse, but
systemic coaching can
help you stay resourceful during chaos, crisis and manipulation.
We welcome friendly people who are emotionally
stable. Do you want to coach people to gain clarity, dissolve emotional and
relationship blocks to success, and find their own sense of life? Do you want to
help people build and maintain quality relationships? Contact us.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2001 - 2008 All rights reserved. |
Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
: Coach Training
: Specialty Training :
Corporate :
FAQ
or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682