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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from childhood abuse?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your children's demands, your
boss's moods? Soulwork systemic coaching can help you untangle
your life and reclaim your freedom. Contact us.
Single Parenting (Continued in Single Parents)
Single parenting is sometimes a challenge, accepted with good
intentions (I am strong enough!). Later it may become overwhelming. People
deciding to raise children alone need financial resources, emotional stability
and wisdom to fulfill own life and a parental role.
Good intentions are rarely enough. Many single parents lose
themselves in duties and challenges, and sometimes lack parenting skills. They
need to learn how to make enough money, how to talk with children, how to share
with other parents, how to deal with own strong emotions.
Many people may offer you logical advice, which may be quite
useless for your emotional reality.
- How can you act motivated when you lack the energy to
cook a meal and talk to your children?
- How can you stay joyful, if you cry hours each day and
pretend a smile, when the children come back from school?
- How can you honor the other parent - while you feel
anger, sadness, despair or indifference?
- How can you teach a child to love a missing parent?
- How can you feel good about your dead or missing partner?
- How can you end a crisis and come back to normal life?
Answers for these questions are not easy and there are no
foolproof recipes. Each relationship is unique. Problems need specific,
appropriate solutions. Not all fathers who leave a family are monsters, not all
mothers are the best choice for raising children. And few coaches offer
systemic solutions.
Sometimes parents seem less mature than their children.
Sometimes good parents of young children cannot cope with teenagers. In systemic
coaching, we look carefully for long term solutions, which enable parents raise
their children, even if separated from each other. We coach people to find new
shapes of love - between the partners and for the children.
Many parents who leave the family stop expressing love toward
the children because of guilt. Many parents who stay with children feel unable
to express love toward another parent because of anger (I lose my freedom and
you get it back).
Many children cannot express love to a parent who leaves a
family - feeling blocked by the parent who raised them (Mom might be angry if
I feel good about Dad)
| I didn't know how to talk to my
daughter about her father. I felt so angry that I could only criticize
him. After two sessions with you, I could tell
her good stories about her father ... My daughter relaxed a lot. She can now
smile and laugh with her Dad. Thank you! AM, Essex |
Children of Single Parents
Some people, after separation or a partner's death, are so
overwhelmed by their emotions that they do not support their children,
especially when their children are quiet.
Your children may distract themselves and say little,
which you may interpret that the children don't understand or don't care about
what's happening. Yet withdrawal often means that the children are in
deep distress, pretending disinterest while hoping for miracles. Few children
can verbally express their feelings about their parents' separation, or about
the absence or death of a parent.
Children need patience and wisdom and
special care when their parents split. Many people ask their parents or
relatives to look after the children for a time, while they sort out their
finances and emotions.
Compare this California report with your
hopes for your children's happiness ...
- 90% of all homeless and runaway
children are from fatherless homes
- 85% of all children with
behavior disorders are from fatherless homes
- 85% of all youths in prison are
from fatherless homes
- 75% of children in
single-parent families will experience poverty
- 75% of all adolescents in
chemical abuse centers are from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts
are from fatherless homes
- 71% of teenage pregnancies are
to children of single parents.
- 63% of youth suicides are from
fatherless homes
Divorce Coaching
. Children of Divorce
Regain Normality
First recover your identity ("Who am I when I stop
being a husband or wife?"). Heal your trauma and deal with your sadness,
anger, anxiety and other emotions. If you first recover your strength for
supporting your children - then you can build relationships on
strength instead of dependence.
Do you want single parent coaching or systemic
coach training?
(Continued in Single Parents)
Do
you want to coach people to dissolve success and relationship
issues? Do you want to coach people to enjoy success and quality relationships?
Do you want to help people fulfill their dreams?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers & Teresa Mocna,
2004-2008 All rights reserved
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