|
Do you enjoy an emotionally satisfying life?
Can you express love and practice kindness; share
happiness and help humanity survive?
|
Victor Frankl
Man's Search for Meaning |
Ultimately, man should not ask
for the meaning of his life, but rather must recognize that
it is he who is asked. Each man is questioned by life; and he
can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life
he can only respond by being responsible. |
Does Life Make Sense?
My meaning of life or
life purpose or sense of life has changed many times during my
life, in more or less predictable
ways. In particular, my sense of life changed as I gained experience during my relationships
with people.
If you are truly starving, you may find practical meaning of life in a potato. If
you are in love, you may find a sweet meaning of life in your first home
together. If you are in business, you may find financial meaning in
a strategic tax-deductible gift to a charity selected by your accountant.
As my happiness and well-being seemed to require
that I adopt or create a life philosophy, I am alert for questions to
measure progress. Do you also seek satisfactory answers to questions
about the meaning and sense of your life? Some questions I may ask during
coaching are:
| Why are you here?
What do you want?
Who do you want to be? |
What fulfills you?
What is your purpose?
What are your life goals? |
What is true?
What is important?
What does death imply? |
Mentorship
. Is Soulwork "New Age"?
. Spiritual Evolution
We often help people assess their meaning of life by enquiring into
their needs, perception,
values and relationships. We help people assess their answers according to the research of
Abram Maslow, Gregory Bateson and Clare Graves.
Maslow: Hierarchy of Needs
Abraham Maslow, a professor of
psychology, wrote that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs,
and that certain needs must be satisfied before higher needs. He believed that people are
basically trustworthy, self-protecting and self-governing. My summary if his
hierarchy of needs is
| Physiological |
Your need for basics such as air, water, food,
sleep, touch, etc |
| Safety |
Your need for stability: the security of
a home and safety for your family |
| Belonging |
Your need to belong to a family, clubs,
work groups, religions, etc, where you can accept others and feel
accepted by them |
| Esteem |
Your need to esteem yourself, perhaps following
competence at a task, and your need for recognition from others |
| Actualization |
Your need to become "everything that you can
become." You seek knowledge, experiences,
self-fulfillment, oneness, etc |
Bateson: Hierarchy of Logical Types
Gregory Bateson, an anthropologist, applied systems
theory to psychology and anthropology (see Steps to an Ecology of Mind).
His description of Logical Types define a hierarchy of abstraction from
physical objects to universal principles - here I apply his hierarchy to meaning of life:
|
Place |
You visit locations
that you find meaningful. These may be places with unusual geographic
features; places where special people died or were buried; or where
unusual events happened. |
|
Things |
You venerate
objects of unusual meaning, beauty or scarcity. This may include
possessions or parts of people who you consider as special. |
|
Behaviors |
You repeat body
movements that you find meaningful. This includes
repeating words that symbolize a relationship
with an esoteric agency. |
|
Beliefs |
You believe ideas
that cannot be proven. Important beliefs often lack factual basis yet concern
meaningful things, people or places. |
|
Values |
You value meaningful
abstractions that cannot be measured or assessed in ordinary reality (e.g.
beauty, charm, happiness ...) |
|
Identify |
You identify with places,
things, behaviors (e.g. a job), beliefs, values, other people or human systems. |
|
Transcend |
To transcend
identity is
a goal of many spiritual paths, although
some people may dispute whether or not you have actually transcended. |
Graves: Hierarchy of Values
Clare Graves, a post-doctoral student of
Abraham Maslow, described values as a basis of human
development. His model of societal evolution predicts the behavior of
individuals, groups and organizations. In this table I loosely
interpret Dr Graves work in terms of meaning of life:
|
Survival |
Your meaning of life is
to survive long enough to raise children |
|
Tribal |
Your meaning of life
is to survive in small communities with the help of
friendly esoteric agencies |
|
Power |
Your meaning
of life is to enjoy power - to be a warrior - to discover and conquer
new worlds for your immediate gratification |
|
Stability |
Your meaning of
life is to enjoy stability - to establish and regulate civilization for
the security of your peers |
|
Success |
Your meaning of
life is to enjoy success - to increase your individual worth in a competitive
market |
|
Community |
Your meaning of
life is to enjoy community - to share your feelings in a protected group
and to protect the group's integrity |
|
Systemic |
Your meaning of
life is to participate in complex systems - to find interconnections
that benefit all members of all systems |
|
Global |
Your meaning of life
is to value and nurture all living things as part of an complex global
super-system |
Graves Levels
1 - 3 . Graves Levels 4 - 6 .
Graves Levels 7 - 9
Carruthers: Hierarchy of Relationships
Some relationships give meaning to your life, and
life without those relationships may be depressing. I postulate that most people develop a
hierarchy of relationships that supports meaningful lives.
The relationship types that I consider most likely to affect your meaning of life probably
include:
| Early Family |
Your sense of connection to members of
your family, living and dead, in which you learn basic life
skills and family rules as a basis for forming relationships with family members |
| Friendship |
Your sense of connection to special people with
whom you share experiences, feelings, personal details and advice, as a basis
for future relationships with people who are not family |
| Teamwork |
Your sense of connection to
people with whom you work together towards shared goals
for mutual benefit, as a basis for
committed co-operation |
| Partnership |
Your sense of
bonding to a special person with whom you create a long-term relationship to
experience love and intimacy, and prepare for nurturing children and / or
community projects |
| Parenthood |
Your sense caring and responsibility
about your children, child substitutes (e.g. pets) or long term projects that
you create and nurture |
| Community |
Your sense of responsibility to members of your
community, whether geographical, political, professional or
through other shared interests |
| Humanity |
Your sense of connection to members of
your race, including your acceptance of their countries of origin,
and their diverse cultural backgrounds, values and beliefs |
People who are confused about life may also be confused about
their relationships. They may respond
to parents as if to partners, or to clients as if to lovers, or to employees as
if to children ... or any of a myriad other permutations. Such relationship confusion appears
to be a basis for endless human suffering and emotional problems.
People who disconnect from other people often have a depressed sense
of life and perhaps feel lost in life or even suicidal.
This identity loss seems to underlie many
unpleasant symptoms. People who do not know how to form healthy relationships
often prefer unhealthy relationships to no relationships at all.
I find that people who enjoy fulfilling their
relationship responsibilities usually enjoy an intense sense of meaning in
life. Hence part of our work is helping people assess and clarify
their relationships. As we do this, we are guided in part by the above hierarchies.
Before you die - are you likely to say with integrity
"I fulfilled my life"?
Emotional Intelligence
. Accelerated Learning
The Soul of Soulwork
is integrity - a joyful expression of life filled with insight and understanding.
Do you want to untangle difficult relationships and find emotional
maturity?
Would you like to
benefit from our experience? |
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