Sexual Solutions: Impotence & Frigidity
Emotional Blocks to Sex © Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching & Mentorship for Sexual Issues

Are you entangled in relationship disappointments or painful emotions?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama or your partner's moods?
We help people untangle their lives.

Partnership Problems

Male impotence and female frigidity are common partnership problems, referring to an inability to enjoy normal sexual activity, or to experience the pleasure and release of orgasm. These and other sexual dysfunctions are often consequences of earlier relationship disappointments.

We help people resolve sexual issues. If ignored, sexual problems can increase the likelihood of a partner's sexual affairs ... or divorce. The causes of such problems include emotional incest, promiscuous behavior, unresolved past partners, affairs and abortions.

I find that the emotions underlying sexual dysfunction often center on guilt, anger and anxiety, which generate and sustain limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging inner dialog:

• betrayal of own past partner (guilt)
• betrayal by own past partner (anger)
• emotional incest (son with mother - guilt)
• past sexual abuse (anger / guilt / anxiety)
• consequences of abortions (guilt / anxiety)
• emotional incest (daughter with father - guilt)
• promiscuous behavior (sexual affairs - guilt / fear)
• power struggles between partners (anger / guilt / fear)

(Note: the only people that we have met with Freud's classic Oedipus, Electra and penis envy complexes had been psychoanalyzed or had been trained in Freudian psychodynamic therapy).

Sexual Dysfunction

As sexual dysfunction often reflects emotional conflicts, we have helped many people achieve lasting results by helping resolve those conflicts. Specific physical conditions predisposing sexual dysfunction can be treated medically. We help people resolve sexual dysfunctions such as:

• Hypersexuality (sex addict) - constant sexual arousal;
• Erectile dysfunction - a man cannot sustain an erect penis;
• Vaginismus - a woman's vaginal muscles contract during intercourse;
• Dyspareunia - a woman experiences significant pain during intercourse;
• Anorgasmia - inability to achieve orgasm despite normal sexual stimulation;
• Hyposexuality (inhibited sexual excitement) - sexual arousal only with difficulty;
• Premature ejaculation - a man ejaculates before or shortly after entering a vagina;
• Ejaculatory impotence (inhibited male orgasm) - a man cannot achieve orgasm in a vagina (although he can sustain an erection and may reach orgasm by other methods).

The Angle of Dangle ... Male Impotence

Approximately 10% of all men will one day be unable to achieve or maintain an erection, which means that they are unable to participate fully in sexual intercourse.

• Common risk factors for male impotence include age, anxiety, stress & relationship conflicts.
• Some drugs have side effects that can contribute to impotence. These include diuretics, tricyclic antidepressants, beta-blockers, and hormones.
• Physical causes of impotence include trauma and disease such as: diabetes; pelvic surgery; spinal injury and glandular problems.

Erectile dysfunction may be expressed in early adolescence as an inability to achieve erection; but more commonly consists of adult onset after years of normal function.

Ejaculatory impotence is a male inability to ejaculate within a sexual partner's vagina. An erection may be maintained for long periods, even after the partner has achieved orgasm. Ejaculatory impotence usually has an emotional (relationship) basis.

Female Frigidity

Women who are not aroused during sexual intercourse may be accused by men of being frigid. Such frigidity has three distinct symptoms:

• cannot achieve orgasm (anorgasmia)
• can achieve sexual arousal only with difficulty (hyposexuality)
• does not enjoy sexual activity (either with specific partners, or generally)

Female frigidity may be caused by sexual abuse, emotional incest, trauma, vaginal spasms (vaginismus) or pain (dyspareunia) during attempted intercourse. As with men, female sexual response may be impaired by relationship disappointments and other emotional causes, or can be triggered by emotional conflicts, anxiety or other stresses.

Emotional Blocks and Beliefs

Emotional blocks that affect sexual pleasure can take many forms. Many unpleasant emotions are combined with limiting beliefs to form mental habits, such as:

1. I can't ...
2. I am helpless
3. I am worthless
4. I must be certain
5. I am afraid of failure
6. I worry about change
7. I am scared of success
8. I must punish my partner
9. I am afraid of making mistakes
10. I am angry about past disappointments

Emotional beliefs often seem to dictate or predict what people experience. Changing emotional beliefs can allow people to experience more of life. Most people can only do or achieve things that are within their emotional belief system.

Such emotional beliefs are often relationship bonds ... ways of feeling connected to family members or other authorities. We help people to change limiting beliefs and dysfunctional bonds.

Solutions for Sexual Issues

Left unresolved, sexual dysfunction increases the likelihood of partnership problems and symptoms associated with depression. Our systemic coaching can help alleviate mental discomfort or sexual dysfunction, especially if the dysfunction involves strong emotions or difficult relationships.

An important tissue is self-esteem ... if you dislike yourself, perhaps due to guilt or shame following betrayal or abandonment, you may feel preoccupied with some past event and unable to enjoy the present moment. We help people explore and change unpleasant emotions.

Paradigm Shift - Systemic Coaching

We can help many people who suffer from relationship issues, including sexual challenges. We also help partners change emotions such as anxiety, guilt, conflicts and trauma. We usually focus on helping people resolve emotional conflicts and relationship issues to improve partnership pleasure and cooperation, including sexual intimacy.

Online Help with Sexual Issues

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2012 All rights reserved

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Systemic Coaching & Training What can you accomplish when you recover your resources? Act quickly for our spring special: US $80 / session or US $300 / month   Have You Suffered Enough?  Where are you now? Assess your fixations, bonds and enmeshments What do you want? Know your life goals ... and your blocks to success Do you have the resources? Find your hidden resources by dreaming together Which emotions block you? End relationship disappointments and mentor damage Do your beliefs limit you? Change your limiting beliefs and end dependence Do you sometimes feel empty? Resolve identity loss to recover your lost resources Is your partnership happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully) Are your children healthy? Happy parents can better manage family problems Do you want team success? Team leaders and top teams can develop together Do you have other goals? Specialty coaching & training

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2012 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks and improve relationships to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work.