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When you are with other people, you act differently to when you are alone. You act differently in different types of relationships. Much human behavior that may seem irrational or even insane can become both obvious and predictable when the rules of the relationships are known. Do you sometimes act like a parent or like a child - with people who are not related to you? Do you sometimes act like a manager - with your family? Do you sometimes want space or time away from those people you love most? A systemic perception of relationships can bring significant change (a paradigm shift) in the way helping professionals diagnose problems and help people change. Systemic diagnosis exposes underlying dynamics which, if not resolved, can be expressed as misery, disease, accidents and criminal behavior. Systems coaching is for helping professionals who wish to help people improve their relationship ecology - the consequences of their actions upon their relationships. Successful relationship ecology is shown as behavior which leads to a sense of wellbeing. Systems Coaching & Relationship EcologyA human system is a group of people that attempt to accomplish goals together. Many human systems include smaller groups (sub-systems) that may strive to achieve their own goals at the expense of the larger systems. (E.g.: an overly close relationship between a mother and her son may lead to the alienation of the son's father and disruption of the son's life). If human systems are perceived in terms of hierarchies and boundaries - then systemic goals will show similar hierarchies and boundaries. Sub-groups may sacrifice their members in the service of larger goals - and others may condemn or ignore larger goals in favor of their more limited perspectives.
Changing Human SystemsSystems thinking can help you look at people in families, teams and communities with a wider perspective than only individual behavior. Systems theory can identify and interpret repeated patterns (habits) and predict the consequences to couples, families, teams and communities. A family, team or community can include wonderful people who may operate well by themselves but do not integrate well. A family, team or community may suffer from any lack of integration. A systemic coach can recognize the functions of a family, team or community, and their interrelations, and can diagnose problems by recognizing the patterns of interaction. They focus on provoking behaviors that determine future goals -- rather than reacting to past disappointments. Systems Theory, Systems Analysis & Systems CoachingSystems theory, systems analysis and systems thinking are major breakthroughs that are often ignored in favor of older, statistical models. Systems thinking helps people view the world, including its organizations, from a perspective of structures, patterns and events, rather than the events themselves. Systems analysis helps to identify the causes of issues and how to change the issues ecologically. Systemic ExamplesFamily behavior depends on its entire structure (not the sum of its parts). A family structure determines member's behavior, which determine family events. Too often, people only see and respond to events. We miss the broader scheme - the systemic scheme offered by relationship diagnosis. Too often in families (and in training programs), we think we can break up the system and only have to deal with its parts; or that we can focus certain topics (e.g. performance) independent from other topics (e.g. children). There seem to be optimum sizes for each type of human system, from friends to countries. A larger system may try to break itself up into sub-systems to achieve stability. Pre-systemic models (e.g. esoteric or statistical models) used to fix human systems may hasten the disintegration of the system. Some principles that apply to families are:
A family may experience the same problems repeatedly - many problems seem to recycle over time. Family members typically recognize the patterns of behaviors, rather than the underlying dynamics. As children mature and become parents, they recognize the phases their children pass through. You may know less about your own family dynamics than those in any other family that you observe. Systemic Family BehaviorFamilies have predictable patterns of interactions (cultural and family traditions) that are passed and replicated across generations. Family interactions can modify but rarely end these cross-generational entanglements. External observation and assistance is often needed - and can be provided with systemic coaching. Each family member affects all other members of a family. Parental moods and actions affect children and other relatives. Family members respond to each other's emotions in predictable ways. Many solutions create new problems - and often a solution is worse than the problem. Systemic family coaching finds solutions that benefit all members. Systemic & Quantum CoachingWe incorporate concepts from quantum physics - particularly from Dr Werner Heisenberg (founder of matrix mechanics and the Uncertainty Principle), Dr Erwin Schrödinger (all possibilities exist until a system is observed), Dr Enrico Fermi (the absence of a part describes the part), Dr Albert Einstein (all change is relative to an observer). You cannot know what a human system is doing NOW. You can only know what its members were doing previously - and then only from well-defined temporal and perceptual positions. Violation of systemic rules in human systems can lead to dysfunctional behavior - and tragedy in subsequent generations. Cross-generational entanglements underlie many personal and professional problems. Restoring balance and harmony to a family system or management team can resolve physical symptoms of its members, not only emotional and mental suffering. See quantum coaching. While family systems may create problems - problems can also create family systems. Do problems exist independently of an observer who defines them? We coach people to change their family structure, rather than attempting to change individual compensation behavior. When family systems are honored; when guilt is healed and duties clarified; members usually feel enormous relief. They can move forward with a sense of life instead of a burden of depression and guilt. Would you like to benefit from our experience? Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003-2010 All rights reserved. |
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