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Do you follow family traditions that you cannot be
happier than your parents? We can help you understand and heal toxic family
traditions - or we can train you to help other people.
You won't build a happy life without
being happy ... remember to be happy!
Happiness: Being Happy
Most people search for what they believe they lack. Yet
what they really seek is often what they overlook ... and undervalue. A
search for wealth, especially if accompanied by guilt, is a poor substitute
for the state of well-being and contentment that we call being happy.
Like love, happiness has many meanings and synonyms.
A dictionary might define happiness as a stable state of well-being.
Happiness includes a sense of being in the right place, ranging from contentment
to intense joy. Happiness refers to enjoyment of or pleasant satisfaction in life,
with security and the ability to fulfill one's wishes.
Another definition of happiness: "a continued sense of
delight, contentment, and joy emanating from a sense of self-goodness, sense of
life and sense of destiny".
This is worth watching ....
We find that happiness is different to fun. We
use the word happiness to talk about long-term satisfaction, and the word
fun to refer to short-term pleasurable distractions.
YOUR Happiness is YOUR Choice!
Early research on happiness
described and compared the happiness of people in demographic groups
such as sex, income, education, and age. In later research, theoretical models
were explored that emphasized temperament, goal
fulfillment, adaptation and social comparison.
In our telephone coaching, we help people find eight
flavors of
long-term happiness:
- Clear relationships without guilty
entanglements
- Clear goals and plans, without inner
objections
- Living with integrity, without
self-criticism or inner conflict
- Using your qualities, expertise and skills
in service of life
- Healthy relationships without limiting
beliefs or emotional bonds
- High motivation without unresolved
emotional trauma
- Finding inspirational mentorship and ending
toxic mentorship
- Enjoying partnership and inspiring children
by living with integrity
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Questions about sustaining relationship
happiness have grown crucial, given financial, social, and emotional costs
accrued by frequent partnership breakdown.
Yet knowledge about constituents of relationship happiness is sparse.
Dr Janet Reibstein |
Relative Happiness
Lasting happiness seems to be about about quality relationships -
including your relationship with yourself. Relationship happiness is
about enjoying who you are and sharing yourself with other people.
Child happiness seems to revolve around being loved,
exploring and preparing for independence. Adult happiness seems to
balance between taking care of self and taking care of others.
Unhappy people are often obsessed with trying to change each
other's behavior or deny each other's
emotions. If you are responsible for your own happiness, you have no use for
coercion. If you do not need to coerce others, you can fulfill your goals in
ways that include freedom and independence.
If you take responsibility for your own happiness, you
reduce the likelihood of coercing others. If other adults in your
life share this assumption and establish rules based upon it, then
you and they can enjoy independence and intimacy. Such independent
intimacy is a strong basis for happy relationships.
Examples:
- "Each of us is responsible for our actions,
reactions and use of resources."
- "I am responsible for how I feel and
how I use my time."
- "We are
together only when we both want to be together."
Counter-examples may seem codependent and cult-like:
- "Each of us is responsible
for the actions and reactions of the others"
- "People should not express unpleasant feelings"
- "People must not spend time alone"
Such rules may satisfy people who prefer dependence or
codependence, but could motivate healthy people to rebel and leave.
Relationship Intelligence
Authentic happiness includes everyday
set-backs. We can help you explore your
mistakes, symptoms and goals. You can enjoy shifting your sense of life
direction.
We offer unique models of relationship
coaching. What are your "gifts" in relationships? Explore the
links between happiness, family history and everyday life. Explore your
relationship intelligence.
Do you focus on academic intelligence? If you
have a high relationship intelligence, you can listen to and understand people.
You know the elements of successful relationships.
You can increase your relationship intelligence.
You can improve your integrity and honesty. You can affirm the worth of other
people. You can commit to personal and relationship growth. You can recognize
and solve communication problems. You can set boundaries.
You can identify and clarify core
values, set priorities based on your core values, and make conscious choices
to align with core values. And if you need help - we're here.
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005-2010 All rights reserved. |
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