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Successful people know the importance of
setting achievable and effective goals for themselves. Goals are one of their
most important tools. Once they have an idea what they want, they turn their
attention towards developing goals that can fulfill their success.
We offer coaching and training on systemic
solutions, relationship happiness, achieving important goals and better
relationships. We help people move from where they are now to where they
want to be.
Destiny is not given to us ...
we must design it.
Setting goals may sound easy ... just
remember what you want. Yet defining useful
goals is rarely easy and many people seem to avoid it.
There are many things you may want. First
consider what possible. Some scars will not heal. Dead people rarely return.
What you said, you cannot unsay, and what you have done, you cannot undo. Wish
for the attainable. Perhaps wish to feel loved or peaceful. Maybe both.
Defining your goals will likely trigger
your objections. Inner conflicts and relationship consequences may become
conscious. Good goalwork changes the goal until you 100% want it without
objections. If that is not possible, you can decide which
of your goals are
essential, at what investment of time, energy and
(often) money.
People's goals often change as people resolve
their inner conflicts, their age-regressed emotions and their relationship
entanglements. And goalwork is, or should be, ongoing. Just because you
wanted something last year or last week doesn't mean you still want it now.
Always check.
Are your deep beliefs aligned with your goals? Or
is there something missing ... something not right ... you can't .... you don't
deserve ... you are not committed? That is what we mean by incongruent.
Do you believe that you can ... that you deserve ... that you
really want ... that you are committed? That is what we mean by
congruent. Incongruent goals lead to unwanted consequences.
Poorly defined goals lead to short-term success,
disappointments and normal human behavior. While well-defined goals can lead
to ecstatic lives, based on an experience of connectedness and integrity that
we call the Soul of Soulwork.
Desire as a Path to Integrity
You can define your goals to aid your success in many fields,
and also use them as a path to discover and experience your deepest self!
Consider your answers to:
- Why are you here?
- What is your purpose?
- What makes sense in life?
- What do you want to do before you die?
Do these questions seem strange - or worthy of introspection?
Your answers may not seem to relate to your normal, everyday
life. Yet your life consists of normal everyday days. Here is a
normal everyday question: What do you want?
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Stop Sabotaging your own Success |
- Dissolve limiting beliefs
- Clarify your relationships
- Dissolve emotional trauma
- Find inspirational mentorship
- Define goal and resolve objections
- Recover and stabilize your integrity
- Recover missing qualities and skills
- Attract healthy people to you
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Well Formed Goals
- Do you feel stuck?
- Does your goals seem far away?
- Have you been working on the same goals for too long?
- Do you jump from one goal to another without completing them?
- Do you feel frustrated watching others do what you know you can do?
Goals provide direction and motivation. Verbalize your wishes – start
sentences beginning with “I want ...” – and your world may change.
Do you begin goal sentences with “I want...”. Or do you say
things like “It’s important that...”, “It would be nice
if...” or “People like me need...”.
Such answers may reflect your life philosophy or beliefs - not what
you want, but what you believe, “It’s not
good to say what you want”, “If you say what you want you will
offend somebody” or “What’s the point – I can’t get it anyway”.
Your answers to goal
questions may require information that you can only gain unconsciously. You may
go into trance-like states as you consider your life goals and sense of life.
Evidence of success?
Do you want a new house or more happiness. Maybe you may want a
romantic holiday in Hawaii or to update your old car. Your answers may
seem to only reflect your current needs.
Yet, if pursued, your answers will lead to profound questions of purpose and
meaning. And if your goal reflects your life’s purpose; if your goal has deep
meaning for you, achieving it will be fulfilling. What would CONVINCE you that
you have achieved your goal?
What do you want NOW?
Perhaps you know exactly what you don’t want? Maybe you don’t want to be
unhappy. This thought will likely accompany images of unhappiness. Ask instead “What
do I want instead of being unhappy?” Perhaps you want more something?
Maybe you want more money. This thought will likely accompany images of not having
enough money.
“How will you know if you are happy?" “How will you know if
you have more money?” If you
continually state negative goals or comparisons - you may be excluding an
important part of yourself from your decision process. Include this part by
focusing on and verbalizing what you do want.
What do you want NEXT?
Do you normally make “multiple” wishes? Do
you want money and freedom? Do you want a university degree so that
you can find self-respect? Do you want someone to do something for you?
Such double-wishes usually indicate inner conflict.
Can you put your goals into a sequence? Would having money lead to
freedom - or would having freedom be a step towards money? Can you
let go of cause-effect language? How else can you find self-respect?
Can you take responsibility? What benefit will
you have if that someone does that something for you?
Some multiple wishes may be mutually exclusive. For example, “I want a
monogamous relationship AND I want many affairs”. “I want to put all my
effort into building a business AND I want to travel around the world for an
extended holiday”.
In this case, find the advantages of achieving both goals –
even if their simultaneous fulfillment is impossible! What would become
possible for you if you were to have already achieved both those goals?
This question may help you find a more profound goal. (See
Double Wishes)
What EXACTLY do you want?
Maybe you want happiness, or love, or health. Abstract goals are unlikely to
support your success. Do you know how you want to achieve your goal?
How do you want to have happiness Do you know how you will know if
you achieve your wish? What would convince you that you have love And
do you know your real goal? For what purpose do you want health?
WHEN do you want this?
Do you have goals without deadlines? Do you want to feel wonderful - sometime?
Do you want a high quality relationship - before you die? Even if you know exactly
what you want - if you do not choose a time frame, your chance for success
may lessen. Exactly when do you want your success?
We can help you define and achieve goals required for you
to fulfill your life purpose.
Click HERE for help with Goals and
Planning
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers,
1996-2012 All rights reserved
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