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Systemic Solutions & Divorce Coaching

Martyn Carruthers

We offer private coaching, interactive and workshops on systemic couple coaching, on how you can heal divorce, family problems and relationship bonds. Contact us.

Divorce is Difficult

For how long have you been considering separation or divorce? For months ... or for years? Or was your partner's decision a shock? If you are considering separation or divorce, you may experience emotional conflicts and mood swings. You may find yourself doing strange things. You are not alone.

Making a decision to stay or to separate is often the most difficult step. You can get systemic couple coaching ... and divorce coaching. We may be able to help you.

If you or your partner announce a decision to separate, your life will change. You may feel lost, haunted by shattered dreams of happiness and huge guilt. You may ask, "What did I do?" and "What else could I have done?" You may experience guilt for any deception, abandonment or betrayal that you have made. And some people may try to increase your suffering - for their benefit.

Divorce Coaching

Suddenly your home is only a building and your possessions may seem to have little value. Dividing marital property may seem an onerous task. Married friends may avoid you, as if you have an infectious disease. Friends often ostracize the partner that they consider "most guilty". Neighbors, and colleagues at work may also behave strangely towards you.

[ Evaluate Partnership ] [ Stress ] [ Divorce and Children ] [ Parent Alienation ]

You may receive interesting hints and invitations from lonely people of the opposite sex. (This is a REALLY good time to refuse or at least postpone those invitations, unless you enjoy chaos and confusion.) It's better to fully examine, learn from and grieve your partnership, than to distract yourself with shallow relationships or sexual affairs.

Separation & Divorce

Increasing divorce rates may reflect the anti-family distractions that fill the modern world - or perhaps divorce rates reflect an increasing unwillingness to tolerate unhappy marriages. Factors that affect divorce differ around the world - the following apply in Western Europe and America:

  1. Coping: Aging, physical changes, medication side effects and mental incapacities can influence a couple's ability to cope with partnership demands
  2. Crisis: Some couples cannot solve problems. Deficiencies may motivate a partner to leave or to have affairs.
  3. Expectations: Affairs often indicate an inability to fulfill idealistic expectations. If a partnership isn't up to a partner's ideals, the problem may not be the relationship but the ideals
  4. Divorce laws: Most Western people can divorce and remarry relatively easily
  5. Dual careers: A partner may care for a career more than a partnership
  6. Fewer children: Child-raising can be completed by the couples' early 40's, leaving 30 or more years for partnership - and partnership crises
  7. Health issues: range from low self-esteem to fatal disease. Severe health issues such as mental instability, debilitating accidents, or disease will impact any relationship.
  8. Increased lifespan: People can partner for 50 years or more, and separate late in life
  9. Parenting: Couples who neglect their intimate partnership while parenting may separate once their children are mature (empty nest crisis)
  10. Public perception: Affairs, separation and divorce are increasingly perceived as normal

[ Affairs ] [ Children of Divorce ]

Relationship & Divorce Coaching

Soulwork relationship coaching helps people enjoy happy and fulfilled lives - and rapidly solving family problems. You can obtain Soulwork coaching for all stages of your partnership - from preparing for partnership to bereavement. We can coach you through the emotional steps of separation. (We recommend that you also consult legal professionals, even if you settle out-of-court.) You can:

  • control your emotions and remain as peaceful as possible
  • prepare for the reactions of your family, friends and colleagues
  • protect and shelter your children
  • anticipate and defuse potential emotional explosions
  • avoid pitfalls while you accomplish your goals

You may obtain Soulwork Divorce Coaching for a few sessions or you can continue as long as you need help. Clients report that Soulwork separation coaching has been invaluable for staying emotionally stable during divorce proceedings.

After a Divorce

  • How well are you adjusting to life as a single?
  • Are some areas in your life OK, while you're stuck in others?
  • Does persistent anger, guilt, grief or doubt hold you back?
  • How will you prepare for your next relationship?

If you are ready to move on with your life, Soulwork Coaching is for you. It doesn't matter if it's been ten days or ten years since your divorce, or whether if you have another partner. It's easier to deal with challenges that you can see, and then move forward into a full and joyful life! Learn how to learn from your past without repeating it. Are you ready for a happy future?

Systemic Divorce Coaching is not:

  • Psychotherapy - we don't dig up your past
  • Blaming or fault-finding
  • Repeating ineffective or useless behavior
  • Staying afraid, angry or lonely
  • Legal advice

Systemic Divorce Coaching helps you ...

  • Move forward safely
  • Take responsibility for your decisions
  • Learn healthy relationship skills
  • Adjust to single life
  • Rebuild trust and self-confidence
  • Rediscover integrity
  • Set borders and limits
  • Prepare for healthy partnership

Children of Divorce

Soulwork divorce coaching can support your ongoing parenting by dissolving parenting issues. Parenting can be difficult enough in a healthy marriage. During and after divorce, parenting can be extremely challenging. Every family has different strategies for parenting, and especially during separation, and differences in parenting strategies can be exaggerated and distorted.

[ Children of Divorce ] [ Parental Alienation ]

After you recover your strength for supporting your children - then you can build new relationships based on strength instead of dependence. Click on the picture ... and freely meet potential new friends.

Do you want single parent coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve complex relationship challenges and enjoy life? Contact us.

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training ... Your Next Step

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2008 All rights reserved


Systemic Coaching & Coach Training Holidays
including
Hawaii  Nepal Egypt  Croatia Czech  Poland

 

Free systemic coach training is available to our organizers

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training ... Your Next Step
 
Email us at   or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682
Write to: 05-082 Stare Babice, Orla Bialego 2m9, PL  or  Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, HR

Workshop

Systemic Coach Training

Systemic 1 How to evaluate relationship dynamics and resolve entanglements
Systemic 2 How to define life goals, identify blocks, resolve objections & plan for success
Systemic 3 How to do or continue goalwork using metaphors and dream coaching
Systemic 4 How to recognize and dissolve abuse and trauma, and rebuild motivation
Systemic 5 How to change limiting beliefs and toxic relationship bonds for emotional freedom
Systemic 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systemic 7 How to end mentor or therapist damage, and provide inspirational mentorship
Systemic 8 How to coach couples and partners to remedy partnership issues
Systemic 9 How to coach whole or parts of families to solve family blocks
Systemic 10 How to coach teams and team leaders to resolve team problems

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996 - 2008 All rights reserved. Soulwork systemic coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We train people to coach others to manage emotions and improve relationships. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.