Soulwork America / Hawaii Soulwork Canada Soulwork Croatia / Hrvatska Soulwork Polska Soulwork Italia Systemic Solutions  Deutschland Soulwork Czech Systemic Solutions Slovakia    Our Coaching  .  Our Coach Training  .  For Organizers  .  Corporate Coaching

Home Page

Find (check spelling)

Telephone
& Skype Coaching

 
Skype Me Now
(when available) Chat with me

Coaching Humor
 
Coach Training
 
Coach Exam
 
FAQ

 

Training Calendar

Articles:

Individual
Abuse
Accelerated Learning
Addictions

Allergies
Anxiety
Beliefs

Dependence
Depression
Dissociation

Eating Disorders
Emotional Maturity
Grief & Loss
Happiness

Hypertension
Identity Loss
Inner Child

Medication
Mental Illness

Pain Control
Passive Aggressive
Psychosomatic

Stress Relief
Trauma & Stress
Weight Loss

 

Relationships
Age Difference

Emotional Blackmail
Emotional Intelligence
Entanglements
Healthy Relationships

Long-Distance Love
Yoga of Relationship

 

Couples
Affairs
Codependence
Couple Coaching
Dating
Divorce
Enjoy Partnership
Evaluate Partners
Partnership
Separation

Sexual Issues
Soul Mates
Single Parents

 

Family
Abortion
Adoption
Brothers & Sisters
Child Abuse
Coaching Children
Divorce Children
Emotional Incest
Family Coaching
Family Constellations
Family Therapy

Fathers & Daughters
Fathers & Sons
Little Prince
Mothers & Daughters
Mothers & Sons

Parental Alienation
Past Partners
Premarital

 

Life Lessons
Authority
Children & Challenges
Communication
Observing Feelings

Patterns in Love
Personal Growth
Quantum Leap
Self Esteem
Self Improvement
Self Intimacy
Stress & Relaxing

 

Advanced
Chaos & Coaching

Client Abuse
Coaching Contracts
Coaching Philosophy

Conflicts
Consciousness
Cults & Coaching
Energy Work
Expert Modeling
Financial Maturity
Home Study Diploma
Human Systems

Leadership
Learning Disabilities
Meaning of Life

Mentorship
New Age

Psychobiology
Quantum Coaching
Sexual Abuse
Sex Change
Soul of Soulwork
Specialty Coaching
Survival Coaching
Therapist Abuse
Toxic Belief Bonds
Training Abuse

Select a Coach
Suicide

Interview with Martyn
Disclaimer
Disclosure
Huna Kalani
Privacy
Your Investment

eXTReMe Tracker

Divorce Counseling & Separation Coaching
Solutions for Emotional Chaos © Martyn Carruthers

Click HERE to make an appointment!


We offer coaching and training on better relationships, separation,
divorce and other difficult family situations.

Separation and Divorce are Major Life Events!

For how long have you been considering separation or divorce? For months ... or for years? Or was your partner's announcement a complete shock? If you are considering separation or divorce, you may experience emotional conflicts and mood swings. You may find yourself doing strange things. You are not alone.

A study showed that partnership separation was traumatic, similar to a death in the family, for over 80% of people. A mutual (emotionally mature) decision to separate comprised less than 20% of all divorces. (Jordan (1985) Effects of marital separation on men" Brisbane Section, Family Court of Australia.)

Even when life together has been unpleasant for a long time, making a decision to stay together or to separate can be difficult. You may both feel torn between conflicting loyalties and responsibilities, and between your feelings and your thoughts. We can coach you to assess what's going on and make decisions - (although we will not try to make decisions for you). See Partnership Breakdown.

If you or your partner decide to separate, your life will change. You may feel lost, haunted by shattered dreams and guilt. You may ask, "What did I do wrong?" and "What else could I have done? " You may experience guilt for any deception or betrayal that you have made. And some people may try to increase your suffering - for their own benefit.


Divorce Coaching

Divorce is usually accompanied by intense emotions. We find that dissolving emotional bonds can be more exhausting than dissolving legal bonds, and that emotional divorce often precedes legal divorce by years. We offer structure and emotional support. We can help you stay healthy and sane.

Suddenly your home is only a building and your possessions may seem to have little value. Dividing marital property may seem an onerous task. Married friends may avoid you, as if you have an infectious disease. A community may ostracize a partner that they consider "most guilty" and support the partner they consider to be "most victim". Neighbors and colleagues may behave strangely towards you.

You may receive hints and invitations for affairs from lonely or hurting people ... or from predators. This is a good time to refuse or at least postpone those invitations, unless you want more chaos and confusion. It's usually better to grieve your partnership, to examine it and fully learn from it, than to distract yourself with shallow relationships or sexual affairs, however tempting they may seem just now.


Separation & Divorce

Increasing divorce rates may reflect the anti-family distractions that fill our modern world - althoughmany of the divorces I have coached reflect an unwillingness to tolerate unhappy or disappointing marriages. Factors that affect divorce differ around the world - the following apply in Europe and America:

  1. Laws: Most Western couples can divorce and remarry relatively easily
  2. Dual careers: A partner may care for a career more than a partnership
  3. Parenting: Couples may separate when their children are mature (empty nest)
  4. Coping: Aging, drugs and mental incapacities can influence a couple's ability to cope
  5. Public perception: Affairs, separation and divorce are increasingly accepted as normal
  6. Crisis: Not solving problems may motivate one or both partners to leave or to have affairs
  7. Increased lifespan: People can partner for 50 years or more, and then separate late in life
  8. Health issues: mental instability, debilitating accidents, or disease will impact relationships
  9. Expectations: If a partnership isn't up to a partner's ideals, the problem may not be the ideals
  10. Fewer children: Child-raising may be completed by the couples' 40's, leaving 30 or more years for partnership - and different partnership problems (e.g. retirement, grand-parenting and old age)


Relationship & Divorce Coaching

We coach people to enjoy happy and fulfilled lives - to dissolve emotional blocks and to solve relationship problems. We offer coaching for all stages of partnership - from preparing for partnership to bereavement. We coach people through the emotional steps of separation (and we recommend that people also consult legal professionals, even if they settle out-of-court.) We help people:

  • protect and shelter their children
  • avoid pitfalls while they accomplish their goals
  • anticipate and defuse potential emotional explosions
  • control their emotions and remain as peaceful as possible
  • prepare for the reactions of their family, friends and colleagues

You can request our divorce coaching for a few sessions or you can continue as long as you need help. Clients report that our separation coaching has been valuable for staying emotionally stable during divorces.


After Separation

  • Are you preparing for another relationship?
  • How well are you adjusting to life as a single?
  • Does persistent anger, guilt, grief or doubt hold you back?
  • Are some areas in your life OK, while you're stuck in others?

Are you are ready to move on with your life? It doesn't matter if it's been ten weeks or ten years since your divorce, or whether you have another partner. Deal with your challenges, and then move forward into a full and joyful life! Learn from your past without repeating it!


Our Divorce Coaching is not:
  • Legal advice
  • Blaming or fault-finding
  • Staying afraid, angry or lonely
  • Marriage counseling
  • Repeating ineffective or useless behavior
  • Psychotherapy - we don't dig up your past

We can help you ...
  • Adjust to single life
  • Move forward safely
  • Rediscover integrity
  • Set borders and limits
  • Prepare for healthy partnership
  • Learn healthy relationship skills
  • Rebuild trust and self-confidence
  • Take responsibility for your decisions


We can support your parenting by helping you dissolve parenting issues. Parenting can be difficult enough in a healthy, happy family. During and after separation, parenting can be exhausting.

Click HERE to make an appointment!

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2010 All rights reserved


Training Centers
Hawaii

England 
Europe

 
SOLUTIONS for Emotional and Relationship Problems

Hawaii, USA: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
London: YogaAnanda
46 Albert Road North, Reigate, Surrey RH2 9EL, UK
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia

Email us at

Good Questions

Good Answers

Training

1. Where are you now? Assess relationship bonds and entanglements Systems 1
2. What are your life goals?  Identify your life goals ... and what blocks you Systems 2
3. How to reach your goals?  Use your conscious and unconscious resources Systems 3
4. What stops you?  Dissolve abuse and trauma to rebuild motivation Systems 4
5. What else stops you? Change your limiting beliefs to end dependence Systems 5
6. What else stops you? Resolve identity loss to recover qualities and skills Systems 6
7. What else stops you? Heal mentor damage and find quality mentorship Systems 7
8. What about your partnership? Build happy partnership (or separate peacefully) Systems 8
9. What about your children? We coach parents to resolve family problems Systems 9
10. What about your success? We coach team leaders and teams ... together Systems 10
11. What about your community? We coach community leaders and communities Systems 11
12. What about complex goals? Specialty coaching & training for unusual goals Specialty

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We help people define and achieve goals, resolve emotional blocks and improve relationships. This information is for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Don't steal ... ask Martyn for permission to post or publish his work.