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We offer affordable coaching and training on systemic
family therapy, learning disabilities,
dissolving therapist abuse and
other issues affecting relationship health.
Relationship Entanglements
Relationship entanglements cause suffering and disrupt families.
If as a child, you learned to express you parents' emotions, you may be striving to fulfill
your parents' goals. Only after
you have suffered enough are you likely to explore your emotions and resolve your
entanglements and bonds.
We can help you free yourself of emotional entanglements and
symptoms based on your entanglements. However, as you learn to change:
- some people may demand that you remain compliant -
entangled or bonded
- some people may react to your health with psychosomatic symptoms
- some people may become emotional with you because you
are harder to manipulate
Other people in your system may be in conflict or crisis. As
you explore how to live without fear or compliance, you may want to change your
relationship habits. During this time, people affected by your desire to change may be angry with you
and may criticize your decisions
or actions.
Soulwork Code of Conduct .
Soulwork Flow Chart
End of Entanglement
Relationship entanglements can distort or hide
symptoms of mental ill-health. You may have identified with the role of another
person, for example trying to partner your parent, or parent your partner. Although
you may want to end this role, someone else may feel bound to take your previous
role, and express the symptoms appropriate for that entanglement.
Many relationship conflicts and transfer of symptoms can be
predicted during relationship diagnosis by an
experienced systemic coach. A good relationship coach or systemic therapist can
discuss your relationship ecology with you, with ways to improve it.
A coach's or therapist's failure to monitor relationship ecology
is best called incompetence.
Professional Relationship Coaching
Therapy and coaching are often limited by
esoteric theories and idealistic models which may not be in accord with
reality. If a marriage counselor says "All you need is love",
for example, it may sound reasonable. But so much is ignored. We ask:
- "How do you each want to express
love to your partner?"
- "Who are appropriate role models
for the kind of love that you want?"
- "What might prevent you from
expressing love in the way you want?"
- "How do you each want your partner
to express love to you?"
A couples therapist or relationship coach
may offer marriage enrichment,
pre-marital counseling or divorce prevention, and yet never
explore how both people want to express and receive love.
Evaluate
Partnership . Enjoy Partnership
Relationships for Life
Healthy relationships produce commitment,
fulfillment and happiness. Maintaining healthy relationships need quality
communication. And quality communication usually requires that you resolve
entanglements with and bonds to inappropriate people.
Problems will happen, although many
partnership problems merely reflect an inability to communicate about
difficulties. If you want healthy relationships, first focus on
developing your relationship qualities.
Predictable
Partnership . Couple Coaching Flowchart
What makes Good Relationship Coaching?
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We both wanted to
save our partnership. We both wanted to work it out. We were both
motivated ... we just needed someone who could observe us and ensure
that we played fair. Now we know that we needed a coach - not a therapist. |
Good relationship coaches
- walk their talk - not stumble their mumble
- continually develop their own relationship qualities
- advocate committed, long-term happy relationships
- avoid criticizing you, manipulating you and judging you
Good relationship coaches helps people:
- create healthy relationships
- improve existing relationships
- make their own choices and decisions
- find appropriate resources and role models
- discover which relationship choices are right
- focus on relationships in the "big picture" of life
- focus on meaning and connection in partnership
- accept responsibility for fulfilling relationship goals
- recognize the consequences of attitudes and habits
- improve relationship skills, knowledge and experience
Good coaches help people walk paths
that they have already walked, and continually strive to live with
integrity their own lives and relationships. Good coaches further
their own development by working with mentors, getting specialist
training and peer supervision. Good coaching helps restore integrity.
Peer Supervision
Helping professionals can also become involved, hurt, irritated and upset
in their relationships. Our peer supervision is a helpful
resource that can provide space to think, to talk, to
understand and to defuse confusing situations. Our coaching and peer supervision can be of
enormous help to therapists, counselors
or
coaches:
- reinforce professional identity
- dissolve relationship entanglements
- predict clients' relationship conflicts
- control inappropriate displays of power
- explore and resolve conflicts of interest
Online Coaching
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2001-2011
All rights reserved.
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