|
Although the majority of helping professionals are conscientious with good
intentions, why not research the consequences of a therapy before you begin -
especially if it includes hypnosis, hypnotherapy or some form of programming.
Neither credentials nor intentions may prevent therapist damage.
Client Abuse in Therapy, Coaching & Counseling
Therapy, coaching and counseling are part of education,
medicine, human resources, mental health and spiritual guidance. Some people who
provide counselling,
social work, new age techniques, hypnosis, psychotherapy, NLP or spiritual
guidance can - with good intentions - damage their clients and their clients'
relationships.
- Have you been abused by a therapist, coach or counselor?
- Have you abused the trust of people who asked you for
help?
- Do you feel that you depend on a therapist, coach or
counselor?
- Have you failed to change yourself - and now consider
yourself incurable?
Few helping professionals are trained to recognize
therapist damage or to resolve
client abuse
- in clients or in other health workers. We coach
motivated people to resolve therapy damage.
|
I am more than willing to get your couple coaching, but my partner had a bad experience with counseling
years ago and
won't participate. Chicago, USA
|
Therapist damage may result from immaturity,
sadism, incompetence, inexperience or
inappropriate interventions. These behaviors can worsen distress
and/or create dependence. Some therapists seem to make problems worse - they
can sabotage a client's perception of all health professionals. Abused
or victimized people may
not trust any other counselor, coach, therapist or mentor.
|
My wife and I are clinical psychologists ...
our son has muscular dystrophy. We attended a workshop by a German family
therapist. He told us, before an audience, that my wife and I were
"sucking the life from our son's body". We felt devastated. Now we
better understand how therapists can abuse people with such careless diagnosis ...
your coaching helped us dissolve this schema,
and now we can move on. Poland |
As with other people who have been cheated, abused clients may
experience strong emotions (such as shame, anger & self-hatred)
that inhibit appropriate reaction. Few clients report abusive therapists -
it is strangely difficult to identify a relevant professional body
and to follow their complaint procedures. Local police may not be helpful.
And many abused clients blame themselves.
Therapy & Coaching Contracts
. Spiritual Abuse & Mentor Damage
Therapist ... The Rapist ... Client Abuse
The consequences of client abuse often resemble
the consequences of trauma or rape. If you were abused by a counselor, therapist
or other helping professional, you may show symptoms associated with post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD). You may experience anxiety, depression, panic
attacks, substance abuse or eating disorders. You may consider self-harm
or suicide. And you may distrust all other potential mentors ... you may avoid anyone who
might advise, coach, teach or mentor you.
- Many types of abuse can occur in
counseling, coaching and therapy settings
- Some helping professionals
prefer codependent clients
- Some helping professionals
avoid resolving their own problems
- Some helping professionals
specialize in their own unresolved issues
Abusive behavior and inappropriate conduct is not uncommon
during counseling, coaching and therapy. Lonely, dissatisfied, codependent
or immature practitioners damage their own lives as well as the lives of
their clients - most often with good intentions. You may suffer from their
good intentions.
|
My wife and I visited a (female)
therapist. The therapist said that my wife was
causing most of our problems and advised my wife to be more
independent ... the therapist privately told me that she thought that
she and I were very compatible ... and we started an
affair. London, Ontario |
If you suffer from therapist damage you may
feel betrayed; and lose self-esteem,
identity, spirituality, hope and independence.
You may suffer sleep disturbances and eating disorders, anxiety or
depression. Worse, you may lose your
ability to make sense of your life.
Mentor Abuse
. Emotional Incest .
Entanglements
Credentials vs. Competence
People seeking help to cope with life challenges may assume that
the best helpers have the best promotion ... or the most education, regardless
of their experience. We find that the longer a practitioner's time in university
- the more reason to check their life experience.
Many people do not want to grow up. Students who feel lost often
stay at school and take advanced degrees. When they do leave school, they may have
formidable credentials and little life experience.
|
Can you afford Free?
I met a free psychiatrist
for an eating disorder for 7 months. She worked for __ Mental Health
in Canada, where she treats eating disorders. She was destructive. Had I
known what good therapy was, I would have walked out during the first
visit. My hope is that other people can identify bad therapy in the
first session!
- She talked theory, not practice - she
weighed at least 500 lbs (200 kg)
- She spent at least half of our time
talking about herself
- She wanted me to help build her public image
- She talked about the theory of eating
disorders like a social documentary
- She expressed fear of other approaches to
eating disorders
- She was terribly insecure and would often
talk about her own obsessions
- She forced me to do things without
explanation
Canada, 2004 |
Professional Codependence & Incompetence
Trust, respect and commitment are fundamental to healing relationships,
yet a codependent practitioner
cannot provide these basic life skills. Codependent people forget
who they are - they often express their unworthiness through self-denial
and sacrifice. Codependent people cannot support or be role models for your healthy independence,
and may sabotage it! Codependent practitioners may delay your recovery to
prolong their need to help you ... and their need to be respected ... and paid
... by you.
|
Our marriage counselor advised us to
take some expensive workshops. We did this although neither of us enjoyed
them. We found that other participants were also our counselor's
clients, and that the workshop organizer paid 50% of our fees to our counselor.
Detroit, USA
|
Many helping professionals offer sympathy - but sympathy encourages adults to act in immature and codependent ways. If you
want to be responsible for your life, you are more likely to benefit from
compassion, provocation and straight communication. Sympathy may
help you to stay where you are!
Codependence
. Code of Conduct
Imbalance of Power
Some therapists may try to become a substitute for your parent. Others
may want to be perceived as a close friend. Your feelings about
these people may become distorted. Entanglements and
transferences
are features of problematic relationships. Abusive practitioners can use
transference to ...
- Intimidate or frighten you
- Manipulate or seduce you
- Invalidate your perceptions
- Demand more paid sessions (that are not needed)
|
My therapist was charming, witty and good looking.
And married ... and his couch was good for many things. When I found out that he
had sex with other clients,
I ended our sessions ... but I really miss him. San Diego, California |
Transference can put a therapist in a powerful position and a client into a
vulnerable position. Some therapists use parental transference to exploit
or abuse clients.
|
My therapist was like the loving father I never had and I
would do anything he said. When he suggested a weekend together, I agreed ... but afterwards I felt
terribly used ... he still calls me and wants
me to purchase more sessions. Cardiff, Wales |
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Common Client Abuse
If you seek help, you may be in crisis or shock. You may feel
childish. You may be vulnerable to criticism and emotional abuse. The
following abuses were reported during coaching, counseling and therapeutic
relationships. An incompetent or abusive therapist, counsellor or coach may:
- Endlessly elaborate a philosophy
- Forget or be late for your appointments
- Exaggerate or misdiagnose your problems
- Repeatedly re-schedule your appointments
- Refuse to answer your reasonable questions
- Be preoccupied or daydream during your sessions
- Refuse to consider your perceptions or point of view
- Claim that you are overreacting
- Withhold important information from you
- Label your communication as bad or wrong
- Refuse to discuss topics which you want to discuss
- Express mood changes and / or emotional outbursts
- Claim that you cause the therapist to act inappropriately
- Talk endlessly about the therapist's beliefs and opinions
- Use your sessions to help themselves
- Extend your sessions without benefit to you
- Arrange to meet you for a non-therapeutic purpose
- Tell you that you do not deserve love, care or support
- Invite you to participate in emotional or physical intimacy
- Later deny or justify emotional or sexual intimacy with you
- Threaten to end your sessions unless you comply with a demand
- Talk about his or her own problems
- Increase your dependence on him or her
- Act pompous, condescending or officious
- Write emails or text messages as you talk
- Give you covert post-hypnotic suggestions
- Ask you for advice about personal problems
- Advise you to change your sexual orientation
- Continually defer solutions to "the next session"
- Cause you to distrust other helping professionals
Part 2 of Therapist-Client Abuse &
Codependence
We offer solutions for damage by abusive or incompetent therapists, counselors etc.
Would you like to
benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003-2010
All rights reserved. |
Our
Coaching .
Our Coach
Training .
For Organizers
.
Corporate Coaching
