|
Although the majority of helping professionals are conscientious with good
intentions, you can research the relationship consequences of a therapy
before you begin - especially if they advertise hypnosis, hypnotherapy
or some form of programming. Good intentions may not prevent therapy damage.
Client Abuse in Therapy, Coaching & Counseling
Therapy and counseling are part of many helping
professions, including education, medicine, human resources, mental health
and spiritual guidance. People who provide paid or unpaid counselling,
social work, new age therapy, hypnosis, NLP, psychotherapy or spiritual
guidance can hurt their clients - often with good intentions.
- Do you feel that you depend on a therapist, coach or
counselor?
- Have you been abused by a therapist, coach or counselor?
- Have you abused the trust of people who turned to you for
help?
Many helping professionals are not trained to recognize
therapist damage or resolve
client abuse
- in clients or in other health workers. We coach
people to resolve therapy damage.
Therapist damage may result from immaturity,
sadism, incompetence, inexperience or
inappropriate interventions. These behaviors can worsen distress
and/or create dependence. Some therapists seem to make problems worse - they
can even sabotage a client's perception of all health professionals. Abused
or victimized people may
not trust any other counselor, coach, therapist or mentor.
|
My wife and I are clinical psychologists ...
our son has muscular dystrophy. We attended a workshop by a popular German
family therapist. He told us, in front of an audience, that my wife and I were
"sucking the life from our son's body". We felt devastated for weeks. Now we
better understand how therapists can abuse clients with careless diagnosis ...
your systemic coaching helped us dissolve this schema,
and we can move on. |
As with other people who have been cheated, abused clients may
experience strong emotions (such as shame, anger & self-hatred)
that inhibit appropriate reaction. Few clients report abusive therapists -
it is strangely difficult to identify a relevant professional body
and to follow their complaint procedures. Local police may not be helpful.
And many abused clients blame themselves.
[ Therapy & Coaching Contracts
] [ Spiritual Abuse & Mentor Damage ]
Therapist ... The Rapist ... Client Abuse
The consequences of client abuse often resemble
the consequences of trauma or rape. If you were abused by a counsellor, therapist
or other helping professional, you may show symptoms associated with post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD). You may experience anxiety, depression, panic
attacks, substance abuse or eating disorders. You may consider self-harm
or suicide. And you may distrust any other mentor ... you may avoid anyone who
might advise, coach, teach or mentor you.
- Many types of abuse occur in
counseling, coaching and therapy settings
- Some helping professionals
prefer codependent clients
- Some helping professionals
specialize in their own unresolved issues
- Some helping professionals
avoid resolving their own problems
Abusive behavior and inappropriate conduct is not uncommon
during counseling, coaching and therapy. Lonely, dissatisfied, codependent
or immature practitioners damage their own lives as well as the lives of
their clients - most often with good intentions. You may suffer from their
good intentions.
|
My wife and I visited a (female)
therapist. The therapist said that my wife was
causing most of our problems and advised my wife to be more
independent ... the therapist privately told me that she thought that
she and I were compatible ... and we started an
affair. London, Ontario |
If you suffer from therapist damage you may
feel betrayed, lost self-esteem,
identity loss, lost hope, lost spirituality and lost independence.
You may suffer sleep and eating disturbances, anxiety and
depression. Worst of all, you may lose your
ability to make sense of your life.
[ Mentor Abuse
] [ Emotional Incest ] [
Entanglements ]
Credentials vs. Competence
People seeking help to cope with life challenges may
assume that the best helpers have the best promotion ... or the most education.
Such
authorities may be trusted, regardless of their experience. The longer a
practitioner's time in university - the more reason to check their life
experience.
Many people do not want to grow up. Students
who feel lost often stay at school and take advanced
degrees. When they do leave school, they may have
formidable credentials and little life experience.
|
Can you afford Free?
I saw a free psychiatrist
for an eating disorder for 7 months. She worked for __ Mental Health
in Canada, where she treats eating disorders. She was destructive. Had I
known what good therapy was, I would have walked out during the first
visit. My hope is that other people can identify bad therapy in the
first session!
- She talked theory, not practice - she
weighed at least 500 lbs (200 kg)
- She spent at least half of our time
talking about herself
- She wanted me to help build her public image
- She talked about the theory of eating
disorders like a social documentary
- She expressed fear of other approaches to
eating disorders
- She was terribly insecure and would often
talk about her own obsessions
- She forced me to do things without
explanation
Canada, 2004 |
Professional Codependence
Trust, respect and commitment are fundamental to healing relationships,
yet a codependent practitioner
cannot provide these basic life skills. Codependent people forget
who they are.
Codependence is the expression of unworthiness through denial
and sacrifice. Codependent people cannot support your healthy independence,
and may sabotage it! Codependent practitioners may delay your recovery to
prolong their need to help you ... and to be respected and paid by you.
|
Our marriage
counselor in Detroit advised us to take some very expensive
workshops. We did this although neither of us liked the workshops.
We found that other participants were also our counselor's clients, and
that the workshop organizer paid 50% of our seminar fees to
our counselor. This should be illegal. Detroit, USA
|
Sympathy encourages adults to act in immature and codependent ways. If you
want to be responsible for your life, you are more likely to benefit from
compassion, provocation and straight communication.
[ Codependence
] [ Soulwork Code of Conduct ]
Imbalance of Power
Therapeutic relationships often include an imbalance of
power, in which verbal and emotional abuse is possible. A
practitioner may try to become a substitute for your parent. Another
may want to be perceived as a close friend. Your feelings about
them may become distorted. Entanglements and
transferences
are features of such relationships. Abusive practitioners can use
transference to ...
- Manipulate or seduce you
- Intimidate or frighten you
- Invalidate your perceptions
- Demand more paid sessions (that are not needed)
|
My therapist was wonderful - charming, witty and good looking.
And married ... and his couch was good for many things. When I found out that he
had sex with other clients,
I ended our sessions ... but I really miss him. San Diego, California |
Transference can put a therapist in a powerful position and a client into a
vulnerable position. If a therapist uses parental transference to
exploit or abuse clients, this might be called professional incest.
|
My therapist was like the loving father I never had and I
would do anything he said. When he suggested a weekend together, I liked the
idea ... But then I felt more and more soiled and used. He still calls me and wants
me to pay for more sessions. Cardiff, Wales |
Common Client Abuse
If you seek help, you may be in crisis or shock. You may think
childishly. You may be vulnerable to criticism and emotional abuse. The
following problems were reported during coaching, counseling and therapeutic
relationships. An inconsiderate or abusive therapist, counsellor or coach may:
- Forget or be late for your appointments
- Repeatedly re-schedule your appointments
- Exaggerate or misdiagnose your problems
- Be preoccupied or daydream during your sessions
- Undervalue, criticize or mock you
- Refuse to answer your reasonable questions
- Refuse to consider your perceptions or point of view
- Express mood changes and / or emotional outbursts
- Label your communication as bad or wrong
- Refuse to discuss topics which you want to discuss
- Claim that you cause the therapist to act inappropriately
- Unreasonably withhold information from you
- Claim that you are overreacting
- Talk endlessly about the therapist's beliefs and opinions
- Threaten to end your sessions unless you comply with a demand
- Extend your sessions without benefit to you
- Tell you that you do not deserve love, care or support
- Use your sessions to help the therapist or coach
- Arrange to meet you for a non-therapeutic purpose
- Invite you to participate in emotional or physical intimacy
- Later deny or justify emotional or sexual intimacy with you
- Increase your dependence on him or her
- Write emails or cell-phone text messages as you talk
- Act pompous, condescending or officious
- Talk about his or her own problems
- Advise you to change your sexual orientation
- Ask you for advice about his or her own problems
- Ask you for help with promotion and advertising
- Continually defer solutions to "the next session"
- Give you harmful post-hypnotic suggestions
- Cause you to distrust other helping professionals
Our systemic coaching and coach training offers effective
solutions for therapy damage.
Part 2 of Therapist-Client Abuse &
Codependence
We welcome friendly people who are motivated and
emotionally stable. Enhance your career with life relationship coaching skills.
Coach people to gain clarity, dissolve success and relationship issues. Coach people
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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2003-2008
All rights reserved. |
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