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It's easier for health professionals and most of their
patients to use drugs as a substitute for change. Self-medication with alcohol
or nicotine, or prescription anti-depressants and stimulants are easier
than applying intelligence, focus and analytical skills to complex relationship
situations. Drugs are also cheaper for patients (in the short term) and more
profitable for health professionals.
Are the long-term consequences and side-effects of psychoactive
drugs acceptable to you?.
What is Child Abuse?
There are no accepted definitions of child abuse or cruelty to
children. This results in confusion about which behaviors are abusive. Decisions
to label a person or family as abusive are usually made by legal or health
professionals, using varying criteria. The situation is confused by differences
between physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect.
One definition of an abused child is: "any
child who receives non-accidental physical injury as a result of acts or
omissions on the part of adults that violate community standards concerning
the treatment of children." Although emotional abuse is harder to define,
a child may desperately need assistance..
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Is a Child in Crisis? |
- Is it appropriate for you to offer assistance? See
Coaching Children
- If so, build trust and offer emotional first aid -
breathe, walk and relax.
- Empathize with child’s emotions. Listen carefully
and talk it through.
- Ask about what happened. Listen carefully and
maintain trust.
- Help child deal with ideas of guilt and punishment.
- Explore options for solutions and restitution.
- Prepare to handle consequences.
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Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child
Severe child discipline can be traced back to the ancient Greeks,
Romans and Jews, when slaves were the property of their owners and children were
the property of their parents. Only in the 20th century was cruelty to children
first regarded as a problem - and then only after cruelty to animal legislation.
Consequences of Child Abuse
The effects of child abuse range from hurt feelings and superficial
wounds to permanent behavioral, emotional and mental impairment, especially following
sexual assault. Some abused children become adults who are chronically dissociated, and
may abuse or neglect children themselves.
Emotional Incest
. Sexual Abuse
. Incest
Abusive Parents
There is no single abusive personality. Only a small
percentage of abusive parents have severe mental health disorders or extreme
religious beliefs. However, most abusive parents lack relationship skills
- they often lack friendship skills, teamwork skills, partnership skills and
parenting skills. Their relationship skill deficiencies often include problems
coping with stress and emotional self-control.
Prevent & Remedy Child Abuse
A common goal of change strategies is to
improve parenting skills. However, if people can evaluate their own family
and friends, and develop friendship skills and partnership skills,
they are likely to develop healthy parenting skills.
Parent Coaching
. Parent Alienation
In our systemic coaching, both the prevention and
treatment of child abuse begins with helping adults evaluate their families
(relationship diagnosis). A person's
evaluations of family members can be recorded as a family matrix.
Following relationship diagnosis, we
help people plan which will be the first relationship to clarify ... which next ... and so on.
Each clarification helps a person choose how to sort out their behaviors,
emotions, compulsions, conflicts, relationship bonds and the effects of trauma.
The result is a relationship coaching
plan which can be tested for congruence (a person's verbal
and non-verbal communication shows full support of the plan without
verbal or non-verbal objections).
Relationship Bonds
. Trauma & PTSD
Build Interpersonal Skills
Most people want to improve their interpersonal skills to have better
relationships. Communication skills help build lasting friendships and improve working
relationships. Good communication skills are a firm basis for partnership and parenting.
- A first step to effective communication is
to know your values and your goals.
- A second step is to express yourself appropriately
within different types of relationships (with parents, siblings, friends,
colleagues, etc).
- A third step to effective communication
is to appropriately respond to relationship challenges and stress.
A useful goal direction is to stay resourceful in chaos.
Communication Training
Our systemic coach training provides models that life coaches can use to prevent,
alleviate or control the unpleasant consequences of child abuse and emotional incest.
Our training provides proven ways to dissolve the underlying emotional causes of...
Systemic Coaching
If you were abused as a child, you may fear happiness and success, and
sabotage your motivation for healthy work, relationships and change. Yet
few survivors of sexual abuse need long term psychotherapy;
our systemic coaching can help most people enjoy happy relationships.
We can identify your individual needs, and help you make an action plan.
We can support and motivate you to achieve your goals and objectives.
We can provide you with exercises and homework and can coach you through
situations that you find difficult.
Enhance your career with life relationship coaching skills.
Coach people to dissolve success blocks. Coach people
to build quality relationships. Coach people to fulfill their dreams.
Do you want Telephone Coaching?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2009
All rights reserved
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