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Solutions for Child Abuse & Family Violence

Understand Family Problems: Telephone and Skype Coaching with Martyn Carruthers

It's easier for health professionals and most of their patients to use drugs as a substitute for change. Self-medication with alcohol or nicotine, or prescription anti-depressants and stimulants are easier than applying intelligence, focus and analytical skills to complex relationship situations. Drugs are also cheaper for patients (in the short term) and more profitable for health professionals.

Are the long-term consequences and side-effects of psychoactive drugs acceptable to you?.

What is Child Abuse?

There are no accepted definitions of child abuse or cruelty to children. This results in confusion about which behaviors are abusive. Decisions to label a person or family as abusive are usually made by legal or health professionals, using varying criteria. The situation is confused by differences between physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect.

One definition of an abused child is: "any child who receives non-accidental physical injury as a result of acts or omissions on the part of adults that violate community standards concerning the treatment of children." Although emotional abuse is harder to define, a child may desperately need assistance..

Is a Child in Crisis?

  1. Is it appropriate for you to offer assistance? See Coaching Children
  2. If so, build trust and offer emotional first aid - breathe, walk and relax.
  3. Empathize with child’s emotions. Listen carefully and talk it through.
  4. Ask about what happened. Listen carefully and maintain trust.
  5. Help child deal with ideas of guilt and punishment.
  6. Explore options for solutions and restitution.
  7. Prepare to handle consequences.

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child

Severe child discipline can be traced back to the ancient Greeks, Romans and Jews, when slaves were the property of their owners and children were the property of their parents. Only in the 20th century was cruelty to children first regarded as a problem - and then only after cruelty to animal legislation.

Consequences of Child Abuse

The effects of child abuse range from hurt feelings and superficial wounds to permanent behavioral, emotional and mental impairment, especially following sexual assault. Some abused children become adults who are chronically dissociated, and may abuse or neglect children themselves.

Emotional Incest . Sexual Abuse . Incest

Abusive Parents

There is no single abusive personality. Only a small percentage of abusive parents have severe mental health disorders or extreme religious beliefs. However, most abusive parents lack relationship skills - they often lack friendship skills, teamwork skills, partnership skills and parenting skills. Their relationship skill deficiencies often include problems coping with stress and emotional self-control.

Prevent & Remedy Child Abuse

A common goal of change strategies is to improve parenting skills. However, if people can evaluate their own family and friends, and develop friendship skills and partnership skills, they are likely to develop healthy parenting skills.

Parent Coaching . Parent Alienation

In our systemic coaching, both the prevention and treatment of child abuse begins with helping adults evaluate their families (relationship diagnosis). A person's evaluations of family members can be recorded as a family matrix.

Following relationship diagnosis, we help people plan which will be the first relationship to clarify ... which next ... and so on. Each clarification helps a person choose how to sort out their behaviors, emotions, compulsions, conflicts, relationship bonds and the effects of trauma.

The result is a relationship coaching plan which can be tested for congruence (a person's verbal and non-verbal communication shows full support of the plan without verbal or non-verbal objections).

Relationship Bonds . Trauma & PTSD

Build Interpersonal Skills

Most people want to improve their interpersonal skills to have better relationships. Communication skills help build lasting friendships and improve working relationships. Good communication skills are a firm basis for partnership and parenting.

  1. A first step to effective communication is to know your values and your goals.
  2. A second step is to express yourself appropriately within different types of relationships (with parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, etc).
  3. A third step to effective communication is to appropriately respond to relationship challenges and stress. A useful goal direction is to stay resourceful in chaos.

Communication Training

Our systemic coach training provides models that life coaches can use to prevent, alleviate or control the unpleasant consequences of child abuse and emotional incest. Our training provides proven ways to dissolve the underlying emotional causes of...

Systemic Coaching

If you were abused as a child, you may fear happiness and success, and sabotage your motivation for healthy work, relationships and change. Yet few survivors of sexual abuse need long term psychotherapy; our systemic coaching can help most people enjoy happy relationships.

We can identify your individual needs, and help you make an action plan. We can support and motivate you to achieve your goals and objectives. We can provide you with exercises and homework and can coach you through situations that you find difficult.

Enhance your career with life relationship coaching skills. Coach people to dissolve success blocks. Coach people to build quality relationships. Coach people to fulfill their dreams.

Do you want Telephone Coaching?

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2009 All rights reserved


The Relationship Coaching Institute

 
Telephone Coaching  ...  Professional Training  ... Your Next Step
America: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia
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Workshop

Systemic Coach Training  (Calendar)

Systems 1 How to evaluate relationship dynamics and recognize common entanglements
Systems 2 How to define life goals, identify blocks, resolve objections & plan for success
Systems 3 How to provide or continue goalwork using interactive metaphors and Dreamwork
Systems 4 How to dissolve the consequences of abuse and trauma, and rebuild motivation
Systems 5 How to change limiting beliefs and codependence for emotional freedom
Systems 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systems 7 How to resolve therapist or spiritual damage and provide inspirational mentorship
Systems 8 How to coach partners to build lasting happiness and avoid partnership breakdown
Systems 9 How to coach parents to resolve family problems and to achieve family goals
Systems 10 How to coach team leaders and teams to develop while solving team problems
Systems 11 How to coach communities to survive and prosper in a changing world
Specialty Advanced workshops and specialty training tailored to fulfill your goals and needs

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2009 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Solutions were primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We train people to resolve emotional blocks and improve relationships. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.

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