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Do you want to untangle difficult
relationships or unpleasant emotions?
Do you want to change your reactions to your parents' drama or your partners'
demands?
Recognize Compliance and Overcome Manipulation
Many advertising programs are designed by professional psychologists
who are skilled in manipulation. They want to influence and persuade you ... to
access your money, your vote or your obedience. Representatives of religions and
political parties may want to persuade you to obey some dogma or promote some
slogan. Some common ways of gaining your compliance are:
| Social Proof |
Reciprocity |
Likeability |
| Scarcity |
Consistency |
Authority |
Do you want to protect yourself against
their manipulation and abuse?
Verbal Aikido .
Client Abuse by Therapists
. Abuse by Trainers
Compliance & Reciprocity
A salesperson compliments your intelligence and gives you a CD.
You then waste time watching an infomercial. In your desire to be fair, you may:
- give your power to other people
- ignore other factors in your decisions
- repay a tiny favor with a much larger favor
- forget to decide whether you wish to feel indebted
If a seller shows me a luxury car - I may be more motivated to
buy a cheaper model. If a website designer shows me a
top of the line package - I may become more willing to purchase a less expensive deal.
Many compliance games start
with offers for us to reject, followed by a lesser offer, as we are
more likely to accept the lesser offer.
My defense against reciprocity
is to admire the bait or accept a favor, if I want it, but I am ready to redefine it
as a trick. Then I can better reject manipulation.
Malicious Compliance
Malicious compliance is a behavior to inflict harm by strictly
following orders, knowing that compliance with the orders will cause a loss or
damage to an organization or reputation, or a loss to a subordinate. This form
of sabotage is used to harm leadership or used by leadership to harm
subordinates.
A work-to-rule is malicious compliance in which rules
are deliberately followed in a deliberate attempt to reduce productivity.
Compliance & Consistency
You probably want your words, attitudes and deeds to
be consistent. This reduces your need to reprocess information, and offers
shortcuts through complex decisions. If you are invited to take a position
(e.g. a loyal member of an association), you may act in ways that
do not support your values, your goals or your life.
To resist consistency,
ask yourself, "If remember my values, would I still make
this commitment?"
Compliance & Social Proof
Before making a decision, why not check what other
people believe. An organization may inform you that other people (the
more - the better, and the more famous the better) have purchased their
products or used their services. This may motivate you to do what you would
otherwise avoid.
Social proof can most influence you when:
- you feel uncertain (you are more likely to accept
others' actions as correct)
- people like you do something (you are more likely
to follow people like you)
You can test the evidence of what others are doing and
recognize that other people, even people like you, need
not form a basis for your decisions.
Compliance & Likeability
You want to agree with people you like. You
want to credit people you like with talent, kindness and intelligence.
Many organizations, politicians and other salespeople use this to
influence your decisions. Remember that most salespeople are
selected or trained to be likeable. Effective sales includes:
- being physically attractive
- giving praise and compliments
- association with things you want
- contacting you in pleasant circumstances
- building familiarity through repeated contacts
- appearing to have similar values and beliefs to you
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If I notice that I like a seller 'too
much', I mentally separate the person from the product, and decide
about the quality and desirability of the product independent of the seller. I
also analyze the sales techniques that were used to influence me ... which also
helps me be realistic. Martyn
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Compliance & Assumed Authority
If you comply with authorities mindlessly, you probably
respond to symbols of authority rather than to real authority.
Three authority symbols are particularly effective - you may be more
compliant to people with any one of these - people who have no other evidence of
authority!
- Automobiles (does a BMW indicate competence?)
- Titles (many university degrees can be purchased by
mail order)
- Clothes (thrift stores often have high quality
clothes for little money)
You can defend yourself against compliance and assumed authority
by asking for details about their automobiles, titles and clothes ... or just by asking yourself:
- Is this person competent?
- What proof of expertise is available?
Compliance & Scarcity
Do you fall for "limited amount" and
"deadline" tactics? A message may seem more powerful if
presented as exclusive or special. If a limited service
seems more valuable - you may be more likely to buy it.
Check if you want the goods
or services - even if they really are scarce. Or maybe the items are readily
available elsewhere ... most marketers and salespeople are trained tot
manipulate and distort truth.
Stop Being Manipulated
Some people will try to manipulate you, and knowing their
tricks can help you prevent this. Once you observe their methods, your attention
reduces their power and ability to abuse you.
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I prefer to feel buyer's remorse BEFORE I buy
a product or service ... and then I can re-evaluate their offers independent of their sales
techniques. Martyn |
Another simple defense is to upset their pattern. I sometimes
congratulate sellers and verbal abusers on their skill in persuasion
or gaining compliance. I may ask where they learned this and what else they
do. This usually interrupts their patterns and sales patter ... I can learn or leave.
End Compliance and
Abuse
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005-2011
All rights reserved
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