Manipulation, Compliance & Relationship Abuse
Emotional Freedom from Manipulation & Marketing © Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching & Training

Do you want to untangle difficult relationships or unpleasant emotions?
Do you want to change how you react to people?

Recognize Compliance and Overcome Manipulation

Many advertising programs are designed by professional psychologists who are skilled in manipulation. They want to influence and persuade you ... to access your money, your vote or your obedience. Representatives of religions and political parties may want to persuade you to obey some dogma or promote some slogan. Some common ways of gaining your compliance are:

Do you want to protect yourself against their manipulation and abuse?

Verbal Aikido . Client Abuse by Therapists . Abuse by Trainers

Compliance & Reciprocity

A salesperson compliments your intelligence and gives you a CD. You then waste time watching an infomercial. In your desire to be fair, you may:

1. give your power to other people
2. ignore other factors in your decisions
3. repay a tiny favor with a much larger favor
4. forget to decide whether you wish to feel indebted

If a seller shows me a luxury car - I may be more motivated to buy a cheaper model. If a website designer shows me a top of the line package - I may become more willing to purchase a less expensive deal. Many compliance games start with offers for us to reject, followed by a lesser offer, as we are more likely to accept the lesser offer.

My defense against reciprocity is to admire the bait or accept a favor, if I want it, but I am ready to redefine it as a trick. Then I can better reject manipulation.

Malicious Compliance

Malicious compliance is a behavior to inflict harm by strictly following orders, knowing that compliance with the orders will cause a loss or damage to an organization or reputation, or a loss to a subordinate. This form of sabotage is used to harm leadership or used by leadership to harm subordinates.

A work-to-rule is malicious compliance in which rules are deliberately followed in a deliberate attempt to reduce productivity.

Compliance & Consistency

You probably want your words, attitudes and deeds to be consistent. This reduces your need to reprocess information, and offers shortcuts through complex decisions. If you are invited to take a position (e.g. a loyal member of an association), you may act in ways that do not support your values, your goals or your life.

To resist consistency, ask yourself, "If remember my values, would I still make this commitment?"

Compliance & Social Proof

Before making a decision, why not check what other people believe. An organization may inform you that other people (the more - the better, and the more famous the better) have purchased their products or used their services. This may motivate you to do what you would otherwise avoid.

Social proof can most influence you when:

• you feel uncertain (you are more likely to accept others' actions as correct)
• people like you do something (you are more likely to follow people like you)

You can test the evidence of what others are doing and recognize that other people, even people like you, need not form a basis for your decisions.

Compliance & Likeability

You want to agree with people you like. You want to credit people you like with talent, kindness and intelligence. Many organizations, politicians and other salespeople use this to influence your decisions. Remember that most salespeople are selected or trained to be likeable. Effective sales includes:

• being physically attractive
• giving praise and compliments
• association with things you want
• contacting you in pleasant circumstances
• building familiarity through repeated contacts
• appearing to have similar values and beliefs to you

Compliance & Assumed Authority

If you comply with authorities mindlessly, you probably respond to symbols of authority rather than to real authority. Three authority symbols are particularly effective - you may be more compliant to people with any one of these - people who have no other evidence of authority!

• Automobiles (does a BMW indicate competence?)
• Titles (many university degrees can be purchased by mail order)
• Clothes (thrift stores often have high quality clothes for little money)

You can defend yourself against compliance and assumed authority by asking for details about their automobiles, titles and clothes ... or just by asking yourself:

• Is this person competent?
• What proof of expertise is available?

Compliance & Scarcity

Do you fall for "limited amount" and "deadline" tactics? A message may seem more powerful if presented as exclusive or special. If a limited service seems more valuable - you may be more likely to buy it.

Check if you want the goods or services - even if they really are scarce. Or maybe the items are readily available elsewhere ... most marketers and salespeople are trained tot manipulate and distort truth.

Stop Being Manipulated

Some people will try to manipulate you, and knowing their tricks can help you prevent this. Once you observe their methods, your attention reduces their power and ability to abuse you.

Another simple defense is to upset their pattern. I sometimes congratulate sellers and verbal abusers on their skill in persuasion or gaining compliance. I may ask where they learned this and what else they do. This usually interrupts their patterns and sales patter ... I can learn or leave.

Act now to end abuse and prepare for a better life.

Online Coaching & Training

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005-2012 All rights reserved

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2012 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks and improve relationships to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work.