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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? We can coach you to untangle your life ... and you can
coach other people to reclaim their freedom. Contact us.
Mission & Remission
Following our systemic coaching, many people have reported
that symptoms of diseases spontaneously lessened and vanished, even symptoms
that were not mentioned or discussed during the sessions. Pains disappeared,
allergies evaporated and migraines ceased ...
Medical tests showed that blood chemistry and eye prescriptions
changed. As relationships healed, some problems associated with depression or
anxiety and panic attacks faded away, addictions ceased and
compulsions vanished.
These changes may be connected to our perception that
most disease symptoms make sense. Disease symptoms often seem to serve a
function in relationships. This means that the severity and duration of
disease symptoms may be changed by changing relationship behavior!
Spontaneous remission also seems related to
responsibility and motivation, although suggestible people
may only show beneficial changes for a limited time.
[
When Disease Makes Sense ]
Relationship & Disease
Most people discriminate between close and distant
relationships. Closeness refers to the degree of perceived or
experienced intimacy - good feelings - about a person.
This evaluation may resemble reality - e.g. a person usually feels close
to a partner or to family members. Some people may feel closer to a past
partner than to a current partner.
Distorted or entangled relationships - sometimes called
transference or substitution - often indicate
deep, unconscious wishes. Through these distortions, friends, work colleagues,
movie stars or fictional characters may be perceived as replacements for
problematic or missing family members.
If you focus on close relationships with
family members, the same distortion applies. You may perceive a child
as a partner, or as a parent. When this occurs,
you may attempt (unconsciously - without conscious rationalization) to relate
to a person as if that person were someone else.
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I am a surgeon.
When friends told me about your work, I didn't believe it, but I
wanted to meet you anyway. I discovered that my own health problems might be
in part compensation for my mother's
abortion ... and that her
abortion had strongly affected my (horrible) partnership, my miscarriage
and my son's mental health. Your coaching helped me sort it all
out. |
The most common relationship chaos may be when parents
are confused between partners and children.
(See Mother-Son and
Father-Daughter bonds.) Some
people may perceive a sibling as a substitute for a parent, partner or child.
There are many possibilities for deep and lasting confusion.
[
Genetic Disease ] [
Food Allergy ] [
Autoimmune Disease ] [
Psychosomatic Symptoms ]
Systemic Coaching
Our systemic coaching can dissolve issues that affect your
ability to achieve your goals. Probably, your real blocks to success are your emotions
and relationships - independent of whether your desired success is in sport,
business, academia, partnership or community development.
If you take responsibility for your life, if you are
motivated and if you have no distracting crisis, then we can start
... usually with systemic diagnosis of your relationships, goals and
entanglements.
Systemic Clarity
Your success will likely involve your relationships. In any
human system, whether a family, team or community, the
success (or failure) of one member will impact other members, in ways that
the other members may or may not enjoy. Members of a system will, consciously or
unconsciously, respond and give feedback about the actions of a member.
Our systemic diagnosis includes subjective perceptions.
For example, if one member perceives another as a "substitute for a child"
or a "substitute for a parent", etc, that member will respond
according to their subjective perceptions. Both people may perceive each other as
substitutes.
Consider a partnership. If a partner perceives the other
as parent - then that partner may act childishly, expecting the other
to care for him or her. If a partner perceives the other as child -
then that partner may demand compliance.
Feedback can be accepted, refused or ignored - the reaction
to feedback will change or redefine the relationship. Our systemic coaching
can accelerate healthy relationship redefinition.
For example. if a partner is addicted to a substance or an
activity, the other partner may be addicted to both the first partner AND to his
or her disease. Then both partners feel helpless and stuck. We perceive
codependence as an
entanglement resulting from
identity loss and we offer
coaching solutions.
Relationship Diagnosis
Our systemic coaching includes non-categorical diagnostic models, based in
part on evaluating the benefits of disease symptoms within human relationship systems.
These five types of disease benefits, reflect five types of relationship issues.
1. Do disease symptoms express a crisis?
A disease may be a way of coping with exhaustion or some
other crisis. For example, the symptoms of a common cold or migraine may
justify taking a day or two away from a heavy workload.
2. Do disease symptoms express inner conflict?
Personality integration can alleviate symptoms of mental and
physical diseases that are based on conflict. (E.g. A person with long-term
inner conflict may experience stress-related disease, such as digestive
problems or hypertension.)
3. Do disease symptoms express relationship bonds?
A disease may represent a bond to someone. Changing
relationship bonds may alleviate mental or physical symptoms needed to maintain
unhealthy beliefs. (E.g. “I am only cared for when I am ill”)
4. Do disease symptoms express emotional trauma or abuse?
Our trauma work alleviates symptoms based on overwhelming emotions
from abuse and trauma. E.g. A person may have had a traumatic experience, and withheld
expressing the emotion or emotions related to that experience. Diseases may form
in the location of the body in which withheld emotions are felt.
5. Do disease symptoms allow similarity to role models?
Changing role models may help alleviate
symptoms based on imitating unhealthy people. For example,
a person may have a similar symptom to a parent or a favored teacher. (E.g. Some
students of Milton Erickson, an American psychiatrist afflicted with
poliomyelitis, developed polio-like symptoms).
[
Psychosomatic Symptoms ]
Systemic Coaching
Although helping professionals recognize the importance of diet, exercise
and drugs; many ignore relationship and emotional factors. We can:
- support disease management and professional health care
- support healthy behavioral changes, such as diet and physical activity
- promote emotional well being and life activities (e.g., education and
recreation)
- provide many possibilities for improving relationships and emotional
stability
Please consult a medical doctor about diseases, medical
symptoms or medical conditions.
We welcome friendly
people who are emotionally stable. Do you want to coach people to gain
clarity, dissolve success and relationship issues, and understand what
makes sense in life? Do you want to help people build success and quality
relationships? Contact us.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2008 All rights reserved
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Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
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telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 585 0365