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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? We can coach you to untangle your life ... and we can
train you to coach people to reclaim their freedom.
Mission & Remission
Following our systemic coaching, many people report that
disease symptoms spontaneously lessened and sometimes vanished, even physical
symptoms that were not mentioned or discussed during the coaching sessions.
Pains disappeared, allergies evaporated and migraines ceased ...
Medical tests showed that blood chemistry and eye prescriptions
changed as relationships healed. Some problems associated with depression or
anxiety and panic attacks faded away, addictions ceased and
compulsions vanished.
From our perception, most disease symptoms make sense. Disease
symptoms often seem to serve a function in relationships. If this is true, then
you can change the severity and duration of disease symptoms by changing your
relationship behavior!
Spontaneous remission also seems related to
responsibility and motivation, although suggestible people
may only show beneficial changes for a limited time following suggestion and
hypnosis, without improving relationships. See
When Disease Makes Sense
Relationships & Disease: Who Makes You Sick?
Most people discriminate between close and distant
relationships. Closeness refers to the degree of perceived or
experienced intimacy - good feelings - about a person.
This evaluation may resemble reality - e.g. a person usually feels close
to a partner or to family members. Some people may feel closer to a past
partner than to a current partner.
Distorted or entangled relationships - also called
transference or substitution - may indicate
deep, unconscious wishes. Through these distortions, friends, work colleagues,
movie stars or fictional characters may be perceived as replacements for
problematic or missing family members. Many people obsess about imaginary
relationships with actors or characters described in books.
If you focus on close relationships with
family members, the same distortion applies. You may perceive a child
as a partner, or as a parent. When this occurs,
you may attempt (unconsciously - without conscious rationalization) to relate
to a person as if that person were someone else.
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When friends told me about your work,
I didn't believe it, but I wanted to meet you. I discovered that my health
problems might be in part compensation for my mother's
abortion ... and that her
abortion had strongly affected my partnership, my miscarriage
and my son's mental health. Your coaching helped me sort it all
out. MD, Hawaii, USA |
A common form of relationship chaos is when parents
are confused between partners and children.
(See Mother-Son and
Father-Daughter bonds.) Also,
some
people perceive a sibling as a substitute for a parent, partner or child.
Families have many possibilities for deep and lasting confusion.
Genetic Disease .
Food Allergy .
Autoimmune Disease .
Psychosomatic Symptoms
Systemic Coaching
For many people, their real blocks to success are their emotions
and relationships - independent of whether their desired success is in sport,
business, academia, partnership or community development.
With our systemic coaching you can dissolve issues that stop you achieving your
goals.
If you take responsibility for your life, if you are
motivated, then we can start. Our first step is normally the systemic diagnosis of
your relationships, goals and entanglements.
Systemic Clarity
Your success will likely involve your relationships. In
any human system, whether a family, team or community, the
success (or failure) of one member will impact other members, in ways that
the other members may or may not enjoy. Members of a system will, consciously
and
unconsciously, respond and give feedback about the actions of other members.
Our systemic diagnosis includes subjective perceptions.
For example, if one member perceives another as a "substitute for a child"
or a "substitute for a parent", etc, that member will respond
according to their subjective perceptions. Both people may perceive each other as
substitutes.
Consider a partnership. If one partner perceives the other
as parent - then that partner may act childishly, expecting the other
to care for him or her. If one partner perceives the other as child -
then that partner may demand the other's compliance.
Feedback can be accepted, refused or ignored - the reaction
to feedback will change or redefine the relationship. Our systemic solutions
can accelerate healthy relationship redefinition.
For example. if a partner is addicted to a substance or an
activity, the other partner may be addicted to both the first partner AND to his
or her disease. Then both partners feel helpless and stuck. We perceive
codependence as an
entanglement resulting from
identity loss and we offer
coaching solutions.
Relationship Diagnosis
Our systemic coaching solutions includes non-categorical diagnostic
models, based in part on evaluating the benefits of disease symptoms within
human relationship systems. These disease benefits reflect relationship issues.
1. Do disease symptoms express a crisis?
A disease may be a way of coping with exhaustion or some
other crisis. For example, the symptoms of a common cold or migraine may
justify taking a day or two away from a heavy workload.
2. Do disease symptoms express inner conflict?
Personality integration can alleviate symptoms of mental and
physical diseases that are based on conflict. (E.g. A person with long-term
inner conflict may experience stress-related disease, such as digestive
problems or hypertension.)
3. Do disease symptoms express relationship bonds?
A disease may represent a bond to someone. Changing
relationship bonds may alleviate mental or physical symptoms needed to maintain
unhealthy beliefs. (E.g. “I am only cared for when I am ill”)
4. Do disease symptoms express emotional trauma or abuse?
Our trauma work alleviates symptoms based on overwhelming emotions
from abuse and trauma. E.g. A person may have had a traumatic experience, and withheld
expressing the emotion or emotions related to that experience. Diseases may form
in the location of the body in which withheld emotions are felt.
5. Do disease symptoms allow similarity to role models?
Changing role models may alleviate
symptoms based on imitating unhealthy people. For example,
a person may have a similar symptom to a parent or a favored teacher. (E.g. Some
students of Milton Erickson, an American psychiatrist afflicted with
poliomyelitis, developed polio-like health problems). See
Psychosomatic Symptoms
Systemic Coaching
Although many helping professionals recognize the importance of diet, exercise
and drugs; they may ignore relationship entanglements and emotional factors. We can:
- support disease management and professional health care
- support healthy behavioral changes, such as diet and physical activity
- provide many possibilities for improving relationships and emotional
stability
- promote emotional well being and life activities (e.g., education and
recreation)
Please consult a medical doctor about diseases, medical
symptoms or medical conditions.
Do you want to coach people to dissolve
success blocks and relationship issues, and understand what makes sense in
life? Do you want to help people build success and quality relationships?
Do you want Telephone Coaching?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2010 All rights reserved
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