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Systemic Coaching & Systemic Family Therapy
© Martyn Carruthers

Would you like to benefit from our experience?

Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma? Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your boss's moods? We can help you untangle your life ... and you can help other people reclaim their freedom.

Most family therapy approaches assume that family problems began in inappropriate or dysfunctional relationships. Consequently, a family therapist may attempt to change beliefs made in earlier relationships, and hence family interactions, with a general goal that presenting problems disappear. Therapy ends when the presenting problem or behavior ceases, or is no longer stressful.

Soulwork Approach to Systemic Family Therapy

Our approach integrated earlier approaches while stepping onto new ground. We offer the convenience of an overall sequence that is both simple and profoundly deep. Utilizing a psychodynamic model of rapid relationship diagnosis, we combine experiential mini-interventions reminiscent of the Gestalt approach. Soulwork reflects elements of Virginia Satir's questioning, Gregory Bateson's work with schizophrenia, Bert Hellinger's Family Constellations, Frank Farelly's Provocative Therapy and Victor Frankl's Logotherapy - within a solution-focused frame.

This differ from other approaches by our focus on goalwork and integrity. This focus is supported by our unique systemic diagnosis and ways to rapidly dissolve transferences, identity loss, bonds and abuse. Integrity can can quickly defuse many toxic relationship situations.

Relationship Diagnosis . Emotional Maturity . Family Coaching

Goalwork

Goalwork with individuals consists of asking questions and paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal responses. Consider the question What do you want?, and these variations:

  • Why are you here?
  • What is your life purpose?
  • What makes sense in your life?
  • How will you know that you are fulfilling your life purpose?

Individual goalwork is practice for the more complex goalwork of coaching couples, families and teams. Such systemic goals are more complex than individual goals and require good goalwork skills.

We use the desires of a couple, family or team to create a path for to discover and experience their deepest selves! This experience of self, that we sometimes call Soul, or integrity, is one basis for living a meaningful life.

Integrity

Integrity, in our systemic coaching, can be described as an transcendent experience of integration and connectedness. Experiences of integrity are a primary systemic coaching goal, as these experiences will enable a rapid dissolution of transferences, bonds and trauma.

  • The phenomena of transference is applied to dissolve six forms of mistaken identity that lead to unjustified irritation and anger
  • Relationship bonds represent beliefs that compel compliant behavior
  • Brief trauma resolution may precipitate relationship problems

Our systemic coaching is primarily for motivated and responsible adults who want to consider the benefits and consequences of actions or lack of action - and then make decisions followed by action.

Therapeutic Coaching . Coaching . Training . Individual Flowchart

Quick Relationship Evaluation

This table focuses on partnership, yet many behaviors could apply to other relationship types, for example with friends, relatives, family, neighbors etc.

Healthy Partnership Relationship in Crisis
Partners show appreciation and gratitude to each other One or both are often dissociated, irritated, depressed or critical
Partners respond to most verbal and nonverbal communications One or both ignore, avoid or shorten most communications
Partners review events in their history They rarely review their relationship history
Partners greet after time apart and ask about each other's activities and other news They rarely interact when together, without even silent intimacy
Partners enjoy meeting each other's needs for passion, intimacy and commitment One or both often ignore or even criticize the other's goals and needs
Partners discuss goals and dreams, finding shared values and creating shared meanings. They rarely discuss goals, values or dreams
Partners share meals and housework together One person often cooks or cleans alone
Partners often go out together They generally prefer to go out alone
Partners create projects which require committed cooperation One or both often avoid, ignore or give small attention to shared projects
They wish to stay together to enjoy sharing partnership and parenthood happiness One or both want to separate but cannot because of guilt, fear or constraints
They respect most of each other's choices and decisions, and politely discuss differences One or both show contempt for the other's decisions and angrily demand changes
Partners want happiness together One or both prefer happiness alone

Systemic Family Coaching in Therapy: Flowcharts

We offer people a series of choices; with estimates of time and the likely consequences of those choices. Each client can choose solutions from the available coaching contracts. The flowchart offers an overview of the evaluation phase of systemic family coaching applied to family therapy.

Phase 1 Family Coaching Flowchart

image_1.jpg

During phase 2 of our systemic coaching, each member of the family is offered choices for how to continue. The resulting discussion allows a family to formulate their unique solutions to resolve their problems and to reach their goals.

Phase 2 Family Coaching Flowchart

image_2.jpg

Phase 3 of our systemic coaching allows each member of a family system to evaluate and change the structure of family and external relationships.

Phase 3 Family Coaching Flowchart

image_3.jpg

Would you like to benefit from our experience?

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005-2010 All rights reserved



 

Space to Rent

 

 
Would you like to benefit from our experience?

America: Dragonfly, PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA
Europe
: Centar Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia
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Workshop

Systemic Coach Training

Systems 1 How to evaluate relationships and recognize common entanglements
Systems 2 How to define life goals, and identify blocks, objections & conflicts
Systems 3 How to continue goalwork using interactive metaphors and Dreamwork
Systems 4 How to dissolve the consequences of abuse and trauma and rebuild motivation
Systems 5 How to change limiting beliefs and codependence for emotional freedom
Systems 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systems 7 How to heal therapist or spiritual damage and provide inspirational mentorship
Systems 8 How to coach partners to build lasting happiness (and to separate peacefully)
Systems 9 How to coach parents to resolve family problems
Systems 10 How to coach team leaders and teams ... together
Systems 11 How to coach community leaders and communities
Specialty Advanced workshops and specialty training tailored to your goals

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2010 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We coach and train people to define and achieve goals, to resolve emotional blocks and to improve relationships. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. You must get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.