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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? We can help you untangle your life ... and you can help
other people reclaim their freedom.
Most family therapy approaches assume that family problems
began in inappropriate or dysfunctional relationships. Consequently, a family
therapist may attempt to change beliefs made in earlier relationships, and hence
family interactions, with a general goal that presenting problems disappear.
Therapy ends when the presenting problem or behavior ceases, or is no longer
stressful.
Soulwork Approach to Systemic Family Therapy
Our approach integrated earlier approaches while stepping
onto new ground. We offer the convenience of an overall sequence that is
both simple and profoundly deep. Utilizing a psychodynamic model of rapid
relationship diagnosis, we combine experiential mini-interventions reminiscent
of the Gestalt approach. Soulwork reflects elements of Virginia Satir's
questioning, Gregory Bateson's work with schizophrenia, Bert Hellinger's
Family Constellations, Frank Farelly's Provocative Therapy
and Victor Frankl's Logotherapy - within a solution-focused frame.
This differ from other approaches by our focus on
goalwork and integrity.
This focus is supported by our unique systemic diagnosis and ways
to rapidly dissolve transferences,
identity loss, bonds
and abuse. Integrity can can quickly defuse
many toxic relationship situations.
Relationship Diagnosis .
Emotional Maturity . Family
Coaching
Goalwork
Goalwork with individuals consists of asking
questions and paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal responses. Consider
the question What do you want?, and these variations:
- Why are you here?
- What is your life purpose?
- What makes sense in your life?
- How will you know that you are fulfilling your life purpose?
Individual goalwork is practice for the more complex goalwork of coaching
couples, families and teams. Such systemic goals are more complex than individual
goals and require good goalwork skills.
We use the desires of a couple, family or team to create a path for to discover
and experience their deepest selves! This experience of self, that we sometimes
call Soul, or integrity, is one basis for living a meaningful life.
Integrity
Integrity, in our systemic coaching, can be described as an
transcendent experience of integration and connectedness. Experiences of integrity
are a primary systemic coaching goal, as these experiences will enable a rapid
dissolution of transferences, bonds and trauma.
- The phenomena of transference is
applied to dissolve six forms of mistaken
identity that lead to unjustified irritation and anger
- Relationship bonds
represent beliefs that compel compliant behavior
- Brief
trauma resolution may
precipitate relationship problems
Our systemic coaching is primarily for motivated and
responsible adults who want to consider the benefits and consequences of actions
or lack of action - and then make decisions followed by action.
Therapeutic
Coaching . Coaching
. Training
. Individual Flowchart
Quick Relationship Evaluation
This table focuses on partnership, yet many behaviors could apply to other relationship types, for
example with friends, relatives, family, neighbors etc.
| Healthy
Partnership |
Relationship in
Crisis |
| Partners show
appreciation and gratitude to each other |
One or both are
often dissociated, irritated, depressed or critical |
| Partners respond to
most verbal and nonverbal communications |
One or both ignore,
avoid or shorten most communications |
| Partners review events
in their history |
They rarely review their
relationship history |
| Partners greet after time
apart and ask about each other's activities and other news |
They rarely interact when
together, without even silent intimacy |
| Partners enjoy meeting
each other's needs for passion, intimacy and commitment |
One or both often ignore or
even criticize the other's goals and needs |
| Partners discuss goals
and dreams, finding shared values and creating shared meanings. |
They rarely discuss
goals, values or
dreams |
| Partners share meals and
housework together |
One person often cooks
or cleans alone |
| Partners often go out
together |
They generally prefer
to go out alone |
| Partners create projects
which require committed cooperation |
One or both often avoid,
ignore or give small attention to shared projects |
| They wish to stay together
to enjoy sharing partnership and parenthood happiness |
One or both want to separate but
cannot because of guilt, fear or constraints |
| They respect most of each
other's choices and decisions, and politely discuss differences |
One or both show contempt
for the other's decisions and angrily demand changes |
| Partners want happiness
together |
One or both prefer
happiness alone |
Systemic Family Coaching in Therapy: Flowcharts
We
offer people a series of choices; with estimates of time and the likely
consequences of those choices. Each client can choose solutions from the
available coaching contracts. The flowchart
offers an overview of the evaluation phase of systemic family coaching
applied to family therapy.
| Phase 1 Family Coaching Flowchart
image_1.jpg |
During phase 2 of our systemic
coaching, each member of the family is offered choices for how to
continue. The resulting discussion allows a family to formulate their
unique solutions to resolve their problems and to reach their goals.
| Phase 2 Family Coaching Flowchart
image_2.jpg |
Phase 3 of our systemic coaching
allows each member of a family system to evaluate and change the
structure of family and external relationships.
| Phase 3 Family Coaching Flowchart
image_3.jpg |
Would
you like to benefit from our experience?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005-2010 All
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