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Emotional First Aid & Maturity
Overwhelmed by Emotions? © Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching & Mentorship

Do you feel strong unpleasant emotions?
Are you burdened by relationship demands?
We help people suffering from emotional overload.

Can you think clearly and make good decisions? If you are emotionally overwhelmed, you may be unable to think clearly, learn from the past, plan the future or solve problems.

Were you taught how to handle strong emotions? Probably not. Such essential skills are often neglected in both child education and adult education programs. Were you supposed to intuit emotional intelligence during adolescence? Or do you just try and not-feel emotions that you didn't like?

Do you assume that you intuitively know how and when and with whom to express emotions? Do you let people play with your emotions? Do you believe that some emotions are negative, bad or wrong? We offer online coaching for emotional first aid and emotional maturity.

Recognize Your Emotions

People need nurturing, support and encouragement for healthy emotional development. Expressing strong feelings like anger, sadness and anxiety can cause severe problems. Did you just copy your parents or your teachers? Do you copy actors on television or cinema?

Are you easily hurt? Some people are extra-sensitive to other people's emotions and need special help. Do you feel strong emotions that you did not want and cannot properly express? We can show you how to manage your emotions - without drugs or medication - and how to help other people manage theirs.

As few people (especially men) can describe their feelings, emotional intelligence includes recognizing how body language communicates internal states, as  A person's posture, gestures and facial expressions can communicate which emotions are currently and chronically experienced, even when a person cannot describe, unconsciously suppresses or consciously hides their emotions.

Your emotional development involves your family and community. You copied the behavior of your parents, relatives, teachers and neighbors, and perhaps some of the behavior of favored actors, sports figures and musicians. You modeled how to express emotions and behave in relationships. Did you copy behaviors that don't serve you? Do you want to change unwanted behaviors and habits?

We can train you to help people stuck in unpleasant emotional loops. You can help people develop emotionally, by modeling relationships, teaching communication skills and helping people set and reach their personal and relationship goals.

Emotional Coaching Steps

How well do you express emotions? Women are more often in touch with their feelings - while for a man "I have a bad feeling about this" may the best he can do. However few children and immature adults can express emotions appropriately. (What does age regressed mean? Consider how old some men act when they are angry or sick.)

1. Become aware of emotions ... feel them!
2. Label each emotion - what name fits best?
3. Accept each emotion as a valid communication
4. Validate each emotion - in what context is each appropriate?
5. Which relationship generates each emotion? With whom are you entangled?

Most people with emotional difficulties can benefit from our coaching. Do you feel trapped in unpleasant relationships? Do you react to stress with aggression or dissociation? Sooner or later, most people want help with strong emotions.

Most people benefit from even brief systemic coaching. In a crisis, emotional first aid can help people regain emotional control and then help them to evaluate and resolve the crisis. We help people remember their values, check consequences and regain emotional control as they resolve a crisis.

Emotional Control and Management

We help people improve their social and emotional skills, and stop playing destructive emotional games. Our coaching includes:

• Emotional first aid
• Set individual and relationship goals
• Recognize success and encourage persistence
• Develop relationship skills in exercises and games
• Only becoming aggressive when that is really needed
• Set goals for emotional stability and behavioral control

Emotional First Aid

Location - where is the center of this feeling? Inside or outside your body? Perhaps in your throat, your heart or your stomach? (Emotions are often centered in body locations that Asian and New Age people often call chakras). Just notice.

Size - how big is the emotion? Use your hands to indicate where you feel the edges of the emotion. Is the emotion smaller or bigger than your body?

Synesthesia simply means imagining what an experience would be like in a different sense. What would blue taste like? What would the taste of banana sound like? What would be the color of anger? What would sadness sound like? What would be the taste of fear? What would this feeling look like?

Now put those pieces together and imagine the result. Maybe start with a few enjoyable emotions and leave heavyweight unpleasant emotions for later. You may feel shock, denial, anger or depression as you move on to accepting your own unpleasant emotions. This emotional first aid can provide time and space for calming - especially if someone experienced can coach you through it with reflective listening and supportive conversation.

After some practice, you can help other people who are struggling with emotions. Help them perceive their emotions in different ways. Don't try to delete emotions, or interpret emotions for people - just ask what they can learn. But please don't do this with disturbed people unless you have appropriate training.

Manage Your Emotions

Here are ten simple ways to help yourself achieve emotional balance:

1. Talk to someone who can really listen.
2. Help some people who are worse than you.
3. Drink clean water and avoid processed food.
4. Check your diet and get needed supplements.
5. Count your blessings. Notice the good in your life.
6. Avoid people who might enjoy gossiping about your life.
7. Pamper yourself a little - haircut, massage, new shoes ...
8. Relax! Rest helps your body unwind. Exhaustion doesn't help.
9. Be in nature and get some sun. Learn the names of birds, trees and flowers.
10. Test some herbal teas, flower essences and essential oils - discover which lift your spirits.

Online Coaching & Mentorship

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2001-2012 All rights reserved. emotinal, souwlork, coching, emosion, couch

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2012 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks, improve relationships and achieve goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... ask for permission to post, publish or teach this work.