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Are you stuck in limiting beliefs?
Are you sabotaging yourself?
Do you want freedom from toxic or limiting beliefs?
Are You STUCK in Toxic, Limiting or Negative
Beliefs?
Probably, you once accepted the beliefs of your
ancestors as the truth. Their beliefs are part of your
emotional baggage. They are also your
heritage, legacy and entrance fee for this life. You can duplicate their beliefs
unchanged or you can modify their beliefs for your own purposes.
Some beliefs can limit you and lead
to unpleasant consequences. Many people call them negative beliefs.
Do you have beliefs like these?
- I'll do it tomorrow! ... I can put it off ...
- I should ... I need to ... I have
to ... I had better ...
- If only ... if someone or something were
different ...
- I might fail ... People will think that ...
I should have ...
- I can't! ... I am unlucky ... I am helpless ...
I am too stupid ...
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The roots of our belief change work
include the writings of Phineas Quimby, a healer who, over 100 years ago,
was credited with healing thousands of people by changing their beliefs.
Quimby wrote that education and religion were primary causes
of destructive beliefs that manifested as diseases. I would add ...
parents. |
In our work, beliefs refer to
feelings of conviction about verbal statements that support or
constrain behavior. Examples of supportive beliefs are:
- My life is important
- I can accomplish my goals
- My life has meaning and purpose
- I can enjoy being with family and friends
- I can find mentors whom I wish to
emulate
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Another root of our work is the pre-contact
huna healing used by
native Hawaiians.
They referred to ele'ele eke (black bags) of emotions held
in the body which were difficult to heal except through
ho'oponopono
(a spiritual family therapy). |
Many constraining beliefs were uncritically accepted
from other people - particularly from parents, teachers and people respected as
authorities. Examples of the effects of limiting beliefs include:
- I cannot leave this terrible relationship
- I am isolated, lost, lonely or disconnected
- I feel unpleasant emotions which do not make
sense
- I cannot find a sense of life, or a
meaningful life purpose
- I am stuck to people or to places that I want to leave
or avoid
As a temporary fix, if you think or say sentences like these,
first NOTICE what you are doing, then you can STOP and then CHANGE the words to
something more supportive.
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Replacing
limiting beliefs can change obsessions and compulsions into ordinary temptations! |
We help people change limiting beliefs,
many of which we call taboo. (Taboo implies that people may not
allow themselves to recognize underlying toxic relationships.) We coach
people to explore and change the roots of obsessive beliefs, which
underlie self-sabotage,
obsessions and compulsions.
Many Beliefs are Bonds
What do you HAVE to believe to remain in your
job? What MUST you believe to stay in your marriage? What SHOULD you believe to
be a good citizen? What are you REQUIRED to believe to participate in a religion? And if
you find that your beliefs limit your happiness and success, how can you change?
Many times we hear, "I want to be
healthy, but not at the expense of changing my beliefs about ... xxx",
where xxx is often a religious dogma or life philosophy or family
tradition. Some beliefs seem to be more important than health ... and some
seem beliefs seem to be more important than life.
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Of course I want to be healthy - but not
if it means changing my religious beliefs, changing my philosophy or changing
how I live.
Heard from many clients ... Martyn |
The shared experiences and beliefs that
bond family members seem to be some of the strongest relationship bonds
that humans can experience. While we may need strong family bonds to
function in a society of families, many people appear to be bonded by
unpleasant or toxic beliefs.
Some organizations require members to
develop rigid beliefs that bond them to some political party, military
organization, network marketing, religious cult or a sporting team.
Irrational beliefs support compliance and manipulation.
The strongest beliefs seem to be
based on a shared sense of identity. Some beliefs seem to be
substitutes for identity - and hence a form of identity
loss. We find that dysfunctional behavior is often based on toxic beliefs
that support feelings of connection and identity to dysfunctional people.
My name is BOND ...
Psychological obsessions can be conscious or
unconscious. People are aware of conscious beliefs - and people are normally
unaware of unconscious (taboo) beliefs that may influence your
perception of yourself and your relationships with important people.
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Many people manage the consequences of
abuse and trauma by creating unpleasant limiting beliefs about themselves or
about the world generally! |
Relational bonds encourage you to cling to beliefs,
obsessions and compulsions. People often describe the more conscious relationship
bonds as colored tubes or ropes or shadows between themselves and others. This
synesthesia provides information about the nature of the bonds.
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Marketing programs are often developed
by psychologists who
want to install beliefs, obsessions and compulsions in you!
Don't let them succeed! |
Taboo relationship beliefs are often localized in the
body - in organs or muscles - and seem to be associated with symptoms and
diseases that may be called psychosomatic. Dissociated relationship
beliefs (we call them bonds) may also be perceived near the
body - people spontaneously describe them as blocks, walls
or dark clouds etc.
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There is a dark wall / barrier / space between me and my
partner.
Heard many, many times |
Relationship beliefs often determine what feels
true or right. People bonded by beliefs to ineffective or dysfunctional
people may behave strangely during times of stress (work or family problems,
etc), when their symptoms prevent normal functioning. They may be unable
to live happy lives until they change their bonds and beliefs.
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Signs of Toxic, Limiting & Negative Beliefs |
- cannot define specific goals
- cannot describe thoughts clearly
- irrational beliefs about other people
- irrational obsessions or compulsions
- difficulty describing emotions or feelings
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- endless abstract complaints
- chronic psychosomatic disease
- impulsive - poor impulse control
- chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS)
- psychosomatic muscle problems
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Many people are damaged during relationships with
well-meaning parents,
teachers,
mentors and
therapists. The consequences of relationship
damage (experienced as abandonment, abuse or betrayal) often include
fixed limiting beliefs, obsessions, compulsions and body reactions
that we use to compensate for perceived injustice.
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First Aid for Toxic, Limiting or Negative Beliefs
First NOTICE what you are doing, then STOP
and
REMEMBER times when you experienced real pleasure.
Then CHANGE THE WORDS to something that supports you.
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We help motivated adults recognize and change
deep limiting beliefs;
and gain lasting relief from unwanted emotional bonds.
Click HERE to Change your Beliefs
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 2005-2010
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