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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods?
We help motivated adults untangle their lives. .
Emotional Incest - A True Story
Many teenage girls suffer the consequences
of a father-daughter-mother triangle in which
the father's over-expressed love for the daughter motivates the mother to
reject both daughter and father. They are often survivors of covert
emotional incest - adult
children of parents who loved
their children inappropriately. See
Daddy's Princess and
Mother's Little Prince.
This is a true story - these excerpts of
conversations are mildly
edited and are posted with permission.
Troubled Teenagers
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... My father loves me but my mother
disapproves of everything I do. She rejects me and she calls me depressed and
hyperactive and worse ... I don't know what I did to hurt her - and I hurt too
... no matter how much sex, booze or grass, my hurt comes back ... when I'm
alone, I cry and scream. Sometimes I cut or burn myself. Pain helps me
feel calm ... for a while. I'm 17 years old and I
feel that I have no future ... |
Teenage girls who feel rejected by their mothers
react in many predictable ways. In our experience, these girls often ...
- dye their hair in multiple colors
- take prescription anti-depressants
- be very thin - sometimes anorexic
- use or have used illegal drugs heavily
- have cuts or cigarette burns on their arms
- have self-inflicted piercing with unusual studs
- prefer garish make-up - often shades of purple
- have red or white scars on their wrists and forearms
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... a few months ago I tried to kill myself
by drinking cleaning fluid. But my best friend phoned the police. When they
saw my wrists, they knew I'd tried to kill myself before. They gave me
antidepressants and a suicide watch. At least they cared that much. |
Although we find that depression usually reflects relationship
issues, a common solution for depression is medication. The more expensive
anti-depressants are SSRI - selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft, Prozac or Paxil. These drugs increase
serotonin in the brain. But if depression is reflecting relationship problems,
then drugs, legal or illegal, are unlikely to heal
relationships.
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Common Side Effects of SSRI Anti-Depressants |
- Headaches
- Drowsiness
- Tremors
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- Nausea
- Upset stomach
- Diarrhea
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- Heavy sweating
- Disturbed sleep
- Decreased libido
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Many older, cheaper anti-depressants are MAOI
(MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors), with worse side effects.
MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan
may be prescribed when other drugs fail. For side effects of MAOI anti-depressants
... visit
Side Effects of MAOI.
Ritalin, an amphetamine, is a drug of choice for
hyperactivity and attention deficit
disorders. Side effects associated with Ritalin
include irritability, anger and loss of appetite.
Many depressed survivors of emotional incest
medicate themselves with alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs.
You may call these people addicts ... do you truly not hear their silent screams for help?
Attachment Disorders & Relationship Bonds
Emotional incest seems to generate limiting beliefs that can affect all aspects of life.
We offer coaching solutions for:
- Behavior: defiant, impulsive,
destructive, lies and steals, aggressive and abusive, hyperactive,
self-destructive, cruel, irresponsible
- Emotions: intense anger, sadness,
depressed, hopeless, moody, anxious, irritable
- Thoughts: limiting self-beliefs, poor
friendship skills, attention and learning problems
- Relationships: no trust,
controlling, manipulative, unstable relationships, victimizer
- Physical: poor hygiene, accidents,
dissociated, depressed, hyperactive
- Moral/Spiritual: lack of
compassion, remorse, meaning, identifies with darkness
Medication is a common way to manage (but not cure) these
symptoms. Medication is not the only way to manage symptoms - but may it may be the easiest way
and is most often recommended by medical authorities.
Teenage Sex
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... Last year
I started having sex with my 37 year old social worker. He told me that he
would teach me about sex. He is gentle. He has other young girls - he said
he doesn't want a girl over 18. He wants two or three of "his girls"
together but I said no to that. I don't know why. |
Sexual intercourse with many partners
increases the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted
diseases and damaged reproductive health. Studies show that
girls who start having sex at young ages often have many
sexual partners. Also, teenage girls who have sex with more
than one partner over a few weeks are more likely to smoke,
drink alcohol, use illegal drugs and / or sniff glue.
These behaviors are likely to hurt a girl's health,
education, sport abilities, future partnership and / or future children, unless the
underlying emotions are assimilated and any trauma or abuse dissolved.
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... I know lots of girls who are like me
but my best friend is more stable. We sometimes sleep together ... people
call us bisexual but our boyfriends say its OK. We go to a girl's boarding
school ... some days its more like a
mental hospital for rich girls. Some of us will only go to
university if our parents bribe somebody ... or if we seduce somebody ... it
happens a lot. |
Medication is not the only way. We help
people resolve complex relationship problems ,although few people who
have not witnessed our work can imagine that fast, effective solutions
are possible.
Coaching Young
Adults . Individual Coaching
. Couple Coaching
. Family Coaching
Solutions
Adolescents and teenagers who feel abandoned or rejected by their parents may become
sad, anxious or angry if asked about their goals. They often:
- avoid finishing projects
- cannot specify congruent goals
- distract themselves with obsessions
- express anxiety and strong emotions
- offer endless excuses for their behavior
We can help motivated people
resolve relationship problems and emotional issues.
Online Help for Emotional
and Relationship Issues
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
1999-2012 All rights reserved
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