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What to Expect | Origins | SuperVision | About Us | ||
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Most sex change surgery is irreversible and the results are often less than ideal. Male-to-female operations often remove the genitals, create a vagina, insert breast implants and a modified larynx. Lasers can be used to remove unwanted hair and cosmetic surgery can modify the face. Female-to-male surgery often involves removal of breasts and womb; while genital reconstruction uses either the clitoris (enlarged by hormones) or tissue grafts and an erectile prosthetic.
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I had a girl's body and a boy's mind. I liked boy's toys, I liked boy's sports and I wore boys clothes. As a teenager I loved to look at girls, and later, I loved to to seduce them ... During our coaching it became obvious that I had identified with my uncle, who killed himself when I was two. It felt like he was in my body, and I, the real me, was a little girl who couldn't grow up. Since our coaching ... I am learning how to be a woman ... It's not as easy as it looks! Las Vegas, Nevada |
People who have identified with people of the opposite sex may feel trapped in the wrong body, either all the time or following some stimulus. Some people have unconsciously identified with two people (typically parents), a fairly common situation which I generally call identity conflict.
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I was told I had bipolar or multiple personality. Sometimes I felt very manly, and sometimes very feminine. It was driving me crazy. During our sessions I realized that I was trying to live both my mother's and father's lives, who had divorced when I was very young ... Following our sessions I am becoming one person ... a man! London, UK |
I find that most relationship skills have little to do with sexual orientation. The same relationship skills can apply to male members of a military squad, a mixed-sex management team or to a group of women working together. And all relationships can suffer similar problems ... and require similar skills.
Popular Western culture seems to promote a definition of love, in songs, television and movies, as relationships in which the partners are inseparable, lost without each other, and in which each person can only derive a sense of life in the presence of the other.
Such relationships can be called symbiotic or codependent. Both may be attractive to people who have identified with someone or suffered some form of identity loss.
Symbiotic human relationships rarely allow for flexibility or equality, and limit partners in their freedom to be themselves. Symbiotic relationships can be stable and feel very close, and the roles are often predictable and safe. For some young adults, symbiosis may seem an ideal relationship! Two common examples of symbiosis can be called rescuer-victim and caretaker-dependent.
Codependent human relationships occur when neither person feels capable or self-reliant. It sometimes seems as if two half-persons are trying to make a one complete person! A classic example is that one partner devotes huge time and energy assisting the other partner to cope with an addiction - while being terrified that the end of the addiction would be the end of their relationship.
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I looked for someone who would fulfill my needs ... someone whose needs I could fulfill ... I found him and married him. Last year, I realized that we were both children seeking parents ... your coaching helped me grow up. But he still acts like a lost boy ... he doesn't want to change ... he wants me to mother him. Paris, France |
Our coaching helps people move from codependence and symbiosis (I can't live without you) to adult independence (I can cope by myself) to mature interdependence (We can co-operate).
Coaching Teenagers . Coaching Young Adults . Coaching Older Clients
For us, childish needs are not signs of healthy love. These differences between immature love and mature love may help you recognize what you really want ...
We also coach people who wish to leave toxic relationships ... we help them rebuild their confidence and learn better communication skills. We coach people to set boundaries, such as distance, touch, acceptable words, honesty and intimacy. If you cannot set appropriate boundaries, you and others may suffer.
Relationship skills are the path of love, respect and dignity ... quality love requires quality skills.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2008-2012 All rights reserved
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