|
Are you stuck in unpleasant moods with little sense of direction.
Moods can be powerful traps ... and a powerful learning experiences.
Let unpleasant feelings motivate
you to decide, "What makes sense in life?"
How do you control
your moods? Anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, stimulants,
alcohol
and tobacco may seem easier than clarifying
your relationships to improve your life.
Actions, and inaction, can have strong consequences.
Changing Moods & Managing Depression
|
If you feel
depressed for more than a few days,
please talk to a medical doctor or clinical psychologist.
|
Moods refer to lasting emotional states. Moods
are less specific and less intense than emotions, and less likely to be
have specific triggers. We perceive a mood as a soup of mixed
emotions; and the emotional contents of a mood often provide the
information that people need to dismantle that mood and improve their
lives. But many people prefer the seemingly easier route of using mood
control drugs.
Are moody or depressed people part of your life?
Chronic depression affects about 10% of the world population. That
implies that there are around 600 MILLION depressed people out there!
Moody people can be difficult to work with and other people may avoid
working with them. They can come across as needy victims, aggressive
bullies, selfish procrastinators or just plain sad people.
We continue to find that most mood swings reflect
unhealthy relationships and lives without meaning
rather than a crisis or recession. For people with healthy
relationships and a sense of purpose - a crisis or a recession is
just another problem to solve!
Unpleasant moods can reduce the quality and sense of
life, and often originate in the early family. Moody people often seem
to have had codependent, symbiotic or dysfunctional parents. We also
find that moods can be associated with
food allergies,
drug abuse,
limiting beliefs,
stress,
codependence,
addictions,
relationship breakdown
and relationship entanglements.
|
Depression is the inability to
construct a future
Rollo May |
Depression is often a reminder
that something is missing in your life,
or that you have abused, mistreated or ignored important people.
Martyn Carruthers
|
We find that depressed women are more likely to
seek our help, while moody men may self-medicate with
alcohol or nicotine, or pursue distractions such as television,
sports or gambling. There are other solutions for motivated people
than taking drugs that hide moods rather than change their causes.
Moodiness originating in relationship problems
can be healed with relationship solutions ... and while drug use
may have its place in crisis management, it often seems to delay
finding those solutions.
|
Do your moods make sense?
Let your moods motivate a search for meaning.
How would your moods change if you ...
|
- feel connected to life
- know what is important
- have a sense of purpose
- have strong supportive beliefs
- are striving to achieve a vision
|
- enjoy a fulfilling profession
- have a healthy mind in a healthy body
- know your place within your community
- enjoy intimacy with an appropriate
partner
- nurture children (or projects) to independence
|
If you won't deal with your moods - you will deal
with their consequences. We help people manage moods without
drugs, build better relationships, sleep and enjoy healthy lifestyles.
(We suggest that people with alcohol or drug addictions - including
addictions to doctor prescribed drugs - first seek
drug treatment and recovery programs.)
Mood Control with Drugs
The manufacture and sale of anti-depressants and mood
stabilizers form a
multi-billion dollar industry. Although the most common anti-depressants
may be alcohol and nicotine, trying to manage moods with psychoactive
drugs can have worse consequences than feeling miserable. Many prescription
anti-depressants are addictive and have unpleasant
side effects,
especially with
older people.
The more expensive anti-depressant drugs are SSRI -
selective
serotonin
reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft, Prozac or Paxil, which increase
serotonin in the brain while
tricyclic
antidepressants inhibit the reuptake of serotonin. (While serotonin is known
to affect moods, many medications can produce
serotonin syndrome
- a potentially life-threatening drug reaction.)
|
Since my husband's mother died, he takes
anti-depressants and acts like a docile robot ...
if I complain he takes more. He says everything is fine ... I am considering
divorce. |
Older and cheaper anti-depressants include MAOI or
monoamine
oxidase inhibitors, which are associated with worse side effects.
MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan may be prescribed
if other drugs do not stabilize moods.
Symptoms Associated with Depression & Despair
Depressed people describe unpleasant moods, thoughts
about themselves and their lives. They may have difficulty making
decisions and they may feel overwhelmed by the everyday tasks of
paying bills, caring for children, meeting people and housework.
Check this list ...
- Feels guilty, worthless, helpless
- Preoccupied with death or suicide
- Insomnia and/or major sleep changes
- Appetite and/or major weight changes
- Decreased energy, fatigue - always tired
- Feeling hopeless, helpless or pessimistic
- Little interest or pleasure in work or profession
- Feels sad, anxious, empty, restless and irritable
- Little pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
- Little interest or pleasure in romance or sexual activity
If you suffer symptoms of depression most days for a few weeks;
if the symptoms interfere with important daily tasks, your sleep
or your social life; please consider finding professional help:
Moods, Disease & Guilt
Moods seem to be a normal responses to unhealthy relationships.
People at higher risk of chronic depression include those suffering
from codependence or
mental illness.
Common emotions within a chronic
depressive mood are guilt and despair, which can result if you:
- abused or traumatized someone
- blame yourself for some misfortune
- depended on someone for your good feelings
- were abused by someone but you blame yourself
- mistake relationship types (e.g. perceiving a partner as a child)
- betrayed or abandoned someone important (e.g. abandoning a child)
Managing Guilt & Shame
People who try to withhold emotions will sooner or
later express them. Bad moods often seem to result from withholding
shame or guilt. This may reflect regret for abuse, abandonment, betrayal,
etc - or may be a result of transference,
such as parental alienation,
sexual abuse or
emotional incest.
|
I wanted to stop humiliating myself.
It started in school ... my father was known to be violent
so I did stupid things to show
that I was harmless ... you helped me
change this habit. |
We find that people often express withheld guilt
and shame as depression, which, if unresolved, may progress to
nervous breakdown
or suicide attempts. Long-term solutions require
that people who have hurt others clarify and atone for this hurt, and that
they change any unhealthy relationship enmeshments
(see
emotional maturity.) People facing
alcoholism or drug addiction can seek a rehab center to regain sobriety
and overcome their addictions.
Many people seem to try to control guilt and depression with
distractions (e.g. TV, sex, gambling, etc), psychoactive medications
(including nicotine, alcohol and caffeine) and dissociation (withdrawal,
self-hypnosis and meditation). Such control is usually short-term;
continued use of drugs or other distractions may result in obsessions and
addictions - without resolving the underlying emotions.
Managing Moods
Many people tell us that they manage their moods with TV or
cinema - although this sounds more like distraction. Distractions can give us
tome and space to reorient and consider plans - but the underlying problems
rarely go away. Sooner or later we have to deal with them.
Some people manage their moods with food. Chocolate, for
example, contains resveratrol, an antioxidant and immune system booster which
can boost endorphins and serotonin (mood-altering biochemicals). Other
people use coffee, alcohol or nicotine. Some people use sugars and fats.
Solutions for Depression: Wisdom & Integrity
Intelligence is not wisdom - and wisdom without
power has few benefits. More intelligent people may feel depressed
if they cannot find effective solutions for problems or trends that
less intelligent people may not notice. (Also, more sensitive people
are likely to feel depressed by incidents that less sensitive people
may not notice or consider foolish.)
Opening up to a friend and talking about how you
feel is emotional first aid. Good friends, a healthy diet and exercise
almost always make sense. Focus on what is around you that you like.
Walk in parks or nature. Practice gratitude for small things and remember
what makes sense. Let depression develop into compassion!
We help people evaluate and change their moods and build healthy relationships.
Online Coaching & Mentorship to Change Moods
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © 2001-2012 by
Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved. |
