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Systemic influences may be out of your awareness,
yet include the relationship events that influence your life. Systemic diagnosis
offers deep insights into your life's hidden
dynamics - and systemic solutions for achieving goals or solving problems. Talk
is cheap - long-term change needs work.
Systemic insights are simple
yet profound, hidden yet obvious, and always revealing. Yet you may never
understand your own family system as well as you understand that of a client's.
Contact us.
Family Constellations
Family constellations can be called ritual maps of
subjective spatial
locations of imagined people, as part of an overall experience of
relationships. Family constellations can be made with actors (in a workshop),
or with empty chairs or other objects during private sessions.
Family Constellations were first described by
Alfred Adler. Applications of family constellations were re-invented and incorporated
into family therapy by Virginia Satir (see New Peoplemaking), and
further developed and popularized by Bert Hellinger (see Love's Hidden Symmetry).
Our model builds on some of
these efforts. Our systemic diagnosis reflects the creation of life and the
fulfillment of life responsibilities, rather than somebody's ideas or
intuitions. We use systemic maps during goalwork, to check who supports you
towards your goals, relationship ecology (consequences to relationships
following a change) and to help you assess the effectiveness of
proposed solutions.
When
healing relationships we respect each person's values, and honor
each person's wisdom. We find that ALL clients can make intelligent choices.
Teresa Mocna (Soulwork Trainer) |
A warning - moving actors or representations on a family
constellation is like communicating, "You can feel good and relax
because you have successfully imagined that you have solved a
relationship problem". We find that long term change requires appropriate
coaching in a person's relationship behavior. In systemic coaching, desired changes can
best be stabilized within
relationships.
Talks with people after family constellation
workshops indicate that many benefits of such imaginary change-work often vanish within three
months. See Systemic Health and
Systemic Magic.
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Be honest.
Don't promise anything that you don't whole-heartedly
believe you can deliver. Let your experience speak to you as well as to your
clients about what to expect. You can promise to provide the agreed
coaching, you can promise you will discuss every technique before using it,
and you can promise your clients your
compassionate attention! |
Trauma, Tragedy and Health
Every family experiences drama, trauma and
tragedies. Some common family trauma include the consequences of:
Most families can resolve relationship trauma
and move on, but some get stuck, unable to find a balance between giving and
receiving, between honoring and forgetting, between life and death.
Families unconsciously follow systemic rules. For example, if
a family member is ostracized, another family member may marry a
substitute for the excluded person, or may identify with the missing family member. If a
missing person is not brought back into a family, a system - and system members
- lose part
of their identity. A family member may unconsciously recover and express the
lost identity.
Cross-generational entanglements explain
why some tragedies are repeated again and again in each generation.
Relatively simple but toxic examples of cross-generational systemic suffering
are the varieties of emotional
incest, as shown by relationship diagnosis.
See Mother-Son
Entanglements and Father-Daughter
Bonds.
Children can become entangled in the drama of
missing, hurt or grieving relatives, and can identify with or bond
to those relatives. Later in life, as these adult children act out their
entanglements, creating the seeds of chaos for the next generation of
children.
Cross-generational entanglements can be
exposed with systemic diagnosis and resolved with systemic coaching. Failure to
expose and resolve family entanglements can have serious consequences, such as
schizophrenia, bipolar
disorder, depression, anxiety
... and suicide.
Constellation Risks
There are risks for people who participate as actors in other
people's family constellations. As observers of a system interact with
the members or substitutes of that system, the consequences of observation,
especially for those who act roles in other person's system,
flow both ways.
Many family systems require one or more members to
be physically or mentally unhealthy, and the observers and actors may
identify with those people, and experience psychosomatic symptoms. This
seems to be common (based on discussions with participants
of family constellation workshops).
Unstable or immature observers may become enmeshed in the
drama of dysfunctional family constellations. They may react and abreact to
what they discover, and distort their own relationships. The consequences of
role playing unhealthy family members
can be unpleasant. (Systemic Health.)
Family constellations provide a way to change inner
representations of relationships. However, changing representations is
unlikely to change other people's representations, nor motivate other people
to ignore any past hurt or injustices. Unless followed by appropriate
action and interaction, the apparent benefits family
constellation workshops seem to disappear within three months.
Systemic Coaching
As the behavior of people in a system can reflect the entire
system, Our systemic coaching is used in human resource management and
organizational development, as it provides efficient and effective models for solving
both family problems and organizational re-engineering. (Some interesting theories
of family constellation work involve morphogenetic
fields and chaos coaching.)
Consequences of relationship trauma (e.g.
abuse, betrayal,
suicide, abortion and adoption)
continue in a family (as cross-generational
entanglements). Junior members of a system may follow senior members into
obsessions, illness or death.
As human organizations reflect systemic principles;
systemic disturbances can affect entire organizations and populations.
Some questions that may expose potential systemic stressors are:
- How do leaders gain power?
- How is power delegated?
- Who really makes decisions?
- How are those decisions communicated?
- How are people removed from the system?
Our systemic coaching can restore order in systems and
change the human resources of a family, team or organization. This emotional
intelligence can help you answer such questions as:
- Which applicant best fits an existing
organization?
- How can a family increase happiness?
- How can a team increase effectiveness?
- How can core competencies be duplicated or improved?
Systemic Solutions
Following systemic diagnosis, we coach
people to define goals and plans to reach them -
including relationship goals. Verbal and nonverbal objections
and entanglements are explored until each goal is congruently desired (without
unconscious objections) and limiting relationship bonds are
dissolved.
We welcome friendly people who are motivated and
emotionally stable. Enhance your career with life relationship coaching skills.
Coach people to gain clarity, dissolve success and relationship issues. Coach people
to build success and quality relationships. Coach people to fulfill their dreams.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2001, 2008
All rights reserved.
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Training Partners :
Relationship Coaching
: Coach Training
: Specialty Training :
Corporate :
FAQ
or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682