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Systemic Family Coaching (Constellations)

Systemic Diagnosis by Martyn Carruthers

Systemic influences may be out of your awareness, yet include the relationship events that influence your life. Systemic diagnosis offers deep insights into your life's hidden dynamics - and systemic solutions for achieving goals or solving problems. Talk is cheap - long-term change needs work.

Systemic insights are simple yet profound, hidden yet obvious, and always revealing. Yet you may never understand your own family system as well as you understand that of a client's. Contact us.

Family Constellations

Family constellations can be called ritual maps of subjective spatial locations of imagined people, as part of an overall experience of relationships. Family constellations can be made with actors (in a workshop), or with empty chairs or other objects during private sessions.

Family Constellations were first described by Alfred Adler. Applications of family constellations were re-invented and incorporated into family therapy by Virginia Satir (see New Peoplemaking), and further developed and popularized by Bert Hellinger (see Love's Hidden Symmetry).

Our model builds on some of these efforts. Our systemic diagnosis reflects the creation of life and the fulfillment of life responsibilities, rather than somebody's ideas or intuitions. We use systemic maps during goalwork, to check who supports you towards your goals, relationship ecology (consequences to relationships following a change) and to help you assess the effectiveness of proposed solutions.

When healing relationships we respect each person's values, and honor each person's wisdom. We find that ALL clients can make intelligent choices.
Teresa Mocna (Soulwork Trainer)

A warning - moving actors or representations on a family constellation is like communicating, "You can feel good and relax because you have successfully imagined that you have solved a relationship problem". We find that long term change requires appropriate coaching in a person's relationship behavior. In systemic coaching, desired changes can best be stabilized within relationships.

Talks with people after family constellation workshops indicate that many benefits of such imaginary change-work often vanish within three months. See Systemic Health and Systemic Magic.

Be honest. Don't promise anything that you don't whole-heartedly believe you can deliver. Let your experience speak to you as well as to your clients about what to expect. You can promise to provide the agreed coaching, you can promise you will discuss every technique before using it, and you can promise your clients your compassionate attention!

Trauma, Tragedy and Health

Every family experiences drama, trauma and tragedies. Some common family trauma include the consequences of:

Most families can resolve relationship trauma and move on, but some get stuck, unable to find a balance between giving and receiving, between honoring and forgetting, between life and death.

Families unconsciously follow systemic rules. For example, if a family member is ostracized, another family member may marry a substitute for the excluded person, or may identify with the missing family member. If a missing person is not brought back into a family, a system - and system members - lose part of their identity. A family member may unconsciously recover and express the lost identity.

Cross-generational entanglements explain why some tragedies are repeated again and again in each generation. Relatively simple but toxic examples of cross-generational systemic suffering are the varieties of emotional incest, as shown by relationship diagnosis. See Mother-Son Entanglements and Father-Daughter Bonds.

Children can become entangled in the drama of missing, hurt or grieving relatives, and can identify with or bond to those relatives. Later in life, as these adult children act out their entanglements, creating the seeds of chaos for the next generation of children.

Cross-generational entanglements can be exposed with systemic diagnosis and resolved with systemic coaching. Failure to expose and resolve family entanglements can have serious consequences, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety ... and suicide.

Constellation Risks

There are risks for people who participate as actors in other people's family constellations. As observers of a system interact with the members or substitutes of that system, the consequences of observation, especially for those who act roles in other person's system, flow both ways.

Many family systems require one or more members to be physically or mentally unhealthy, and the observers and actors may identify with those people, and experience psychosomatic symptoms. This seems to be common (based on discussions with participants of family constellation workshops).

Unstable or immature observers may become enmeshed in the drama of dysfunctional family constellations. They may react and abreact to what they discover, and distort their own relationships. The consequences of role playing unhealthy family members can be unpleasant. (Systemic Health.)

Family constellations provide a way to change inner representations of relationships. However, changing representations is unlikely to change other people's representations, nor motivate other people to ignore any past hurt or injustices. Unless followed by appropriate action and interaction, the apparent benefits family constellation workshops seem to disappear within three months.

Systemic Coaching

As the behavior of people in a system can reflect the entire system, Our systemic coaching is used in human resource management and organizational development, as it provides efficient and effective models for solving both family problems and organizational re-engineering. (Some interesting theories of family constellation work involve morphogenetic fields and chaos coaching.)

Consequences of relationship trauma (e.g. abuse, betrayal, suicide, abortion and adoption) continue in a family (as cross-generational entanglements). Junior members of a system may follow senior members into obsessions, illness or death.

As human organizations reflect systemic principles; systemic disturbances can affect entire organizations and populations. Some questions that may expose potential systemic stressors are:

  • How do leaders gain power?
  • How is power delegated?
  • Who really makes decisions?
  • How are those decisions communicated?
  • How are people removed from the system?

Our systemic coaching can restore order in systems and change the human resources of a family, team or organization. This emotional intelligence can help you answer such questions as:

  • Which applicant best fits an existing organization?
  • How can a family increase happiness?
  • How can a team increase effectiveness?
  • How can core competencies be duplicated or improved?

Systemic Solutions

Following systemic diagnosis, we coach people to define goals and plans to reach them - including relationship goals. Verbal and nonverbal objections and entanglements are explored until each goal is congruently desired (without unconscious objections) and limiting relationship bonds are dissolved.

We welcome friendly people who are motivated and emotionally stable. Enhance your career with life relationship coaching skills. Coach people to gain clarity, dissolve success and relationship issues. Coach people to build success and quality relationships. Coach people to fulfill their dreams.

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2001, 2008 All rights reserved.


Systemic Coaching & Coach Training Holidays
including
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Free systemic coach training is available to our organizers

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training ... Your Next Step
 
Email us at   or telephone: +4 860 275 8295 or +38 591 881 2682
Write to: 05-082 Stare Babice, Orla Bialego 2m9, PL  or  Angel, Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, HR

Workshop

Systemic Coach Training

Systemic 1 How to evaluate relationship dynamics and resolve entanglements
Systemic 2 How to define life goals, identify blocks, resolve objections & plan for success
Systemic 3 How to do or continue goalwork using metaphors and dream coaching
Systemic 4 How to recognize and dissolve abuse and trauma, and rebuild motivation
Systemic 5 How to change limiting beliefs and toxic relationship bonds for emotional freedom
Systemic 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systemic 7 How to end mentor or therapist damage, and provide inspirational mentorship
Systemic 8 How to coach couples and partners to remedy partnership issues
Systemic 9 How to coach whole or parts of families to solve family blocks
Systemic 10 How to coach teams and team leaders to resolve team problems

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996 - 2008 All rights reserved. Soulwork systemic coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We train people to coach others to manage emotions and improve relationships. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.