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We suggest that you research the
relationship consequences of any training before attending it -
especially if suggestion, hypnosis, belief or value change are themes of the
training.
Toxic Training
Some training programs have wonderful consequences for
participants, and some consequences are unpleasant. Examine the course topics,
the trainers and the training style. While many trainers would dislike being called
manipulative, some might be pleased.
Topics such as How to Make People buy Things they don't
Want often ignore long-term
consequences in favor of short-term goals, but provide information that many
people will pay for. Topics such as Magnificent Financial Success without
Effort may be a ruse for manipulation, hypnotic language and coercion,
that are neither expected nor desired.
Trainers who Abuse Students
Some trainers inspire students while others abuse students.
Some teachers extort money or sexual favors from participants. Some professors use
students as substitutes for laboratory rats. Check how a trainer:
- tests the consequences of
their information in the real world
- limits your behavior or increases your
flexibility
- installs beliefs rather
than providing useful information
- presents their own values as a model
for your life
- models relationship behavior that
inspires or damage relationships
Some trainers attract the lost and the weary with promises of
success and power. If people who are damaged by toxic training try to leave
it - they may be called quitters, regressive or
learning disabled. We often coach people who are trainer disabled.
A hierarchy of logical types helps differentiate abstract concepts.
(See: Steps to an Ecology of Mind by Dr. Gregory Bateson.)
Training Types
As a training can include any combination of topics, a hierarchy of abstraction
of the type of information and the role of the trainer
would look like:
| Abstraction |
Type
of Information |
Role of Trainer |
| Sense of Life |
Overall sense of
fulfillment |
Mentor, Priest or Guru |
| Relationships |
Defining self in
relationships |
Evaluate & change
relationships |
| Priorities |
Choosing
personal values |
Evaluate & change priorities |
| Performance |
Choosing
personal beliefs |
Evaluate & change beliefs |
|
Capacity |
Replicate or
create skills |
Improve ability to learn |
|
Behavior |
Techniques and
skills |
Provide repetitive techniques |
| Real world |
Test knowledge in
real world |
Help interpret feedback |
Testing knowledge in the real world, not in a classroom or
laboratory, should be a
base for learning. As in
Expert
Modeling, only real-world tests can prove
whether or not a strategy is valid and valuable in the context for which it
was learned.
A trainer's sense of life may be an overt or covert part
of their training. A trainer's attitude is critical in longer trainings about
communication and human development. Ask students to
evaluate whether a specific training or a certain trainer is likely to provide healthy
or unhealthy results:
| Abstraction |
Healthy |
Unhealthy |
| Sense
of Life |
Clear sense of
integrity |
Confused sense of
life |
| Relationships |
Clear
relationships |
Violated promises |
| Priorities |
Clear values |
Confused
priorities |
| Performance |
Clear beliefs |
Limiting or
dependent beliefs |
|
Capacity |
Clear improvement |
Reduced
capabilities |
|
Behavior |
Clear performance
benefits |
Techniques are
confusing |
| Real world |
Tests show
obvious benefits |
Tests show
uncertain results |
To evaluate overall training effectiveness, enquire
whether a training offer testable specific results for specific actions
in a specific context? Does a training include real-world tests to prove that the
promised results are gained? How does a training recommend that you test
and use the material?
|
Overall Training Effectiveness |
|
Sense |
How do you experience your
sense of life after the training? |
| Identity |
How do you
experience yourself in relationships after the training? |
| Values |
How do
you feel about your
priorities after the training? |
| Beliefs |
How do you feel about the
training context after the training? |
|
Modeling |
What was the result of your test
for improved skills after the training? |
|
Behavior |
What was the result of your test
for rote behavior after the training? |
|
Reality |
What reality checks
were used before, during and after the training? |
What is Abusive Training?
Many courses are available to people seeking help
or wishing to help others. Many trainers hurry to provide
this popular need. And many
consequences will haunt abusive trainers - and their students.
- Can you recognize abused students?
- What training structures facilitate student abuse?
- How can trainer abuse be healed?
- How can people recognize toxic training?
- Which trainers damage their students?
Cult characteristics provide a useful measure of
organizational dysfunction which can lead to abuse in training.
Many cult characteristics have powerful dimensions of compliance and
control. Some are:
| |
Role of Trainer |
Cult
Characteristic |
| Sense of Life |
Mentor, Facilitator or Coach |
Priest or Guru |
| Relationships |
Provide model for relationships |
Conformity &
idealized trainers |
| Priorities |
Provide model for priorities |
Closed narcissistic system |
| Performance |
Provide model for beliefs |
Dogma and secrets |
|
Capacity |
Change ability to learn |
Creativity is a
liability |
|
Behavior |
Teach repetitive techniques |
Learn rituals |
| Real world |
Help interpret feedback |
Avoid real world tests |
Recognizing Abused Students
People who receive abusive training or toxic mentorship
(mentor damage) may:
- Depend on someone else to know the answers - a guru
- Become unable to create deep friendship or
lasting partnership
- Increase dependent relationships
- Distrust self and own decisions
- Distrust all trainers and mentors
- Become depressed & lose sense of life
|
I took a course on hypnotic sales techniques. I was hypnotized a lot by the trainers
and by other students. Soon, my life lost meaning - love and my religion became word games ...
my wife and I divorced ... she got a restraining order to stop me seeing our
children ... but my sales did improve. AM Toronto, Canada |
Can you predict the consequences to
the people who practice such techniques? Would you stay in partnership or
even in friendship with someone who does these things to you; or
who brags about how they manipulate their
partner, friends, family members or customers?
If you were abused by a
trainer or training organization, we can help you. Contact us.
[ Continued in
Trainer Abuse 2 ]
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004, 2008 All rights reserved.
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